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I am Corsair the Rational Pirate and I have little patience for irrational morons.
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Thursday, June 30, 2005
A Cornucopia of Infantile Obsessions Well, two isn't a cornucopia, but after the drought we have see recently, it is a flood of belly button goodness: ![]() Dang, girl! Pull up them pants! ![]() More and more!
Giggle! Snort! ![]() Scientology! Bwahaha! Just proves that people are so deluded and starved for someone to take care of them that they will believe anything: Unbeknownst to most people, a central figure in Scientology is Xenu. Who is Xenu? Well, Xenu was a galactic overlord and 75 million years ago he brought billions of people to Earth to execute them. He put them around volcanoes and blew them up with nuclear weapons. Their souls stuck around, though, and continue to harm the living. This is the basis of Scientology.Buncha Tom Cruise Asshats.
Now That's Funny! In a cringe-inducing, painful kinda way: I've never experienced attempted penile beheading by flying saucer before. One doesn't normally expect domestic violence to erupt out of one's kitchen cabinet, but such was the case this evening. I now view my plates with more suspicion than usual. Tuesday, June 28, 2005
You Can't Be Serious?! Put me down as not the most knowledgeable individual on the planet on the situation in Bruma (Myanmar). really, who cares about that little place. But I do know that they (the miliatary junta clowns) have the winner of their last election, Aung San Suu Kyi, trapped in her house and that she has been there on and off for decades. A couple of days ago it was her 60th birthday and lots of people sent her good will and told the world what a great lady she was. The today the WaPo has the following breakfast ruiner : It is interesting that Aung San Suu Kyi received an outpouring of sympathy on her 60th birthday [World in Brief, June 19-20]. Some have called her the Nelson Mandela of Asia.You can not be serious!? I know the junta has been accused of selling dope to finance their little kingdom, but I didn't know that their representatives smoked it themselves! Let us take a stroll though the twisted mind of an idiot: Nelson Mandela has done a great service to his country as well as to mankind by making possible the rebirth of South Africa, free of apartheid. He came to terms with the government to find a practical solution, which is why he has been regarded as a great statesman.Whether the rebirth of South Africa has been a great service to the world has yet to be seen, but what I do seem to remember was Mandela rotting in a cell for years until his condition helped shame the world into forcing a real one man one vote action. This then lead to the collapse of apartheid. He didn't work with the goevernment, he destroyed it. If Aung San Suu Kyi were pragmatic, she would know what is best for the people of Myanmar.Meaning "if the bitch would just shut up and go away we go return to raping the country blind of all it resources and living the high life". Standing up to a military government and defying the status quo is much admired in the West. However, in our part of the world, we need leaders who are visionary enough to guide our nations forward in the context of our national circumstances. If Aung San Suu Kyi could fulfill this task successfully, she would find a great place in the history of Myanmar.Again, "shut up, bitch." You actually had a leader who won a popular vote. Her name is Aung San Suu Kyi and she has been trapped by you bully boys in her house since then. You clowns are the national disgrace who should take the pragmatice course and slit your wrists opening up the future of your country as something more than a repressive dictatorship. Think of you names in the history books then. Stupid tools. Sunday, June 26, 2005
I Don't Think They Would Get the Joke I was persuing the Apple iTunes store this evening and discovered the following (check the genre): ![]() I am not sure the Marines would consider what they do to be "comedy" exactly. Saturday, June 25, 2005
We Have a Winner! Infantile Obsession Alert! I finally found one! I give you the Queen of Korean Female Golfers (KFG), Se Ri Pak and her belly button: ![]() Well, some of it anyway. The bottom part (which I think is the best part). Here is hoping for more in the future!
Got the Corsair Kids Watching Abbott and Costello I was watching some Abbott and Costello this morning (I remember watching A&C and Three Stooges and Laurel and Hardy on Sunday mornings back in the day) when the Corsair Clan Kids wandered over to see what silliness the old man was watching this time. Normally they don't want to have anything to do with my classic movies (especially when they are in black and white). So today we had: ![]() in ![]() but the best part of the whole opening sequence is this: ![]() And just who was old Phil Spitalny and what was with the Magic Violin? And who was the future lucky Mrs. Spitalny? ![]() The stuff you learn by watching Abbott and Costello! There should be a college class on A&C cultural references or something. The best part was that the kids actually thought some of this stuff was pretty funny. Ya gotta love the slapstick! Friday, June 24, 2005
Huh? Lucianne.com update. OK, here is a real mess of a story: It has been nearly eight weeks since Susan Torres (pictured at right with her oldest son) was rushed to the hospital after she suffered a stroke caused by melanoma cancer. For eight weeks, despite her brain damage, she has been closely monitored and kept alive for the sake of her unborn baby. And after eight weeks, baby Torres is alive and kicking — quite literally.So the Mom is basically dead. The baby is trying to grow up inside the empty (but living) shell, the family is devastated. The baby, if it makes it will grow up without a Mother. The father lost his wife and the parents lost their daughter. And the reaction of the clueless lucianne crew? Reply 1 - Posted by: janylou, 6/24/2005 7:22:17 PMHow, exactly does this awful situation prove the existence of a loving, all powerful god who wants nothing more than for us to love him as much as he loves us. He let the mother get cancer, die, and now, instead of raising her from her sick bed, he allows her to lie there being an incubator for a baby that may not even live. If God was any more "with this family" they would probably all be dead. What I think it shows is that the universe is a nasty, uncaring place that does't think twice about giving expectant mothers cancer and endangering babies. Shit happens. It happens to good and bad and tall and short and old and young. And even to those "in a family way". Sucks to be her and her family, especially the almost-baby but there is nothing out there looking out for you, deal with it. Thursday, June 23, 2005
That Ain't Right! How can this possibly be right? WASHINGTON (AP) -- -- The Supreme Court on Thursday ruled that local governments may seize people's homes and businesses -- even against their will -- for private economic development.See, I can understand when the city or county needs your space to build a road or bridge or school or something. Obviously that is for the "common good". But to say that the government can come in and take my shit and give it to someone else so that that someone else can make money off of my shit... That shit is just wrong. Isn't there a law against that or something? At issue was the scope of the Fifth Amendment, which allows governments to take private property through eminent domain if the land is for "public use."So when, exactly, can't the government take my house and land away? What if the Mayor wanted my house so he could rent it out to some friends of his? Maybe he fixes it up a little, adds a pool and another bathroom thereby increasing the value. Taxes on the property rise accordingly, the city gets the money, and another cop gets hired to further the public's good. Is that ok? This is just messed up. Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Clah-ssic Movie (You have to say it like Ahnold would say it) I watched a real keeper last night. I'll post some pics and see if you can guess (it really isn't that hard for real war movie fans): ![]() Yep, that is Clint Eastwood and a long-haired Donald Sutherland: ![]() And look! Isn't that Telly Savalas? ![]() Yep, that's him alright. Hairless head and all. ![]() And there is the three of them together striding down the street. I am of course referring to Kelly's Heroes, a great caper/war movies starring a few of yesteryears biggest stars. It also has an apperance by one of the ugliest Germans ever captured in film: ![]() With the big lips and the scar and all. Quite frightening, really. Guy's name is John Heller. Played a bunch of bit parts through the years. Should have made a bigger splash with a mug like that. Anyway, it comes highly recommended. I give it Two Hooks Up&trade! ![]() ![]() Saturday, June 18, 2005
Where did I read this? I don't have the full quote, but it was something about how religions state that boobies are so vile, hideous and disgusting that only your baby should have access to them. And sex is so vile, disgusting and wrong that you should save it for the one you love the most. Something like that. Anyone know what I am talking about? (Shaaa, like that is going to happen).
Nothing Fails Like Prayer I always wondered what it was that people were really praying about when they claimed to be devout religoids of any persuasion. You often hear (at least I do) "I'll pray for you. Pray for me to do what (burst into flames, probably). Well now we have evidence brought to us by Florida. I know, you are saying "You can't hold Floridians up to be evidence of anything." You would be right. Surely the existence of Florida is a compelling argument against any kind of loving God who knew what it was doing when it created mankind. Conversely, without a God strianing mightily every day and night, how would those people continue living and breathing? So pick your argument. Anyway. Seems like some people in Florida would like to ogle young ladies in bikinis dancing around on a stage. Nothing wrong with that, I thought. But I would be wrong to have those thoughts. There does appear to be a vocal segment of the Florida populace who are apparently opposed to the viewing of scantily clad young things strutting their stuff. So they are asking god to sort things out: As property owner Susan Calkins glared from the building's threshold, the protesters lined up at the perimeter of the property and bowed their heads.Seems like "Warren" has some impulse problems he needs to work out. I suspect that he would be one of the very first customers darkening Susan's new establishment in order to ogle the pretty young things goodies, all the while muttering imprecations about their parenthood and his own vileness and wickedness and why, Jesus can't I stop those thoughts, yadda yadda yadda. Warren lives in his parent's basements and is often ashamed at what he sees in the shower (which he takes with his clothes on). Then there is this 10 watt bulb: "It's within walking distance of a neighborhood, Lord," put in Judith Redding, 48, of Valrico.Thanks, babe. I doubt the lord of the cosmos, the creator of the universe, the all seeing, all knowing presence from which everything came needs help with directions in Valrico, Florida. And anyway, walking distance to homes is good for the environment. That way Elmer and Cletus don't have to warm up the '76 El Camino and waste lot of gas driving to the city limits in order to get their leer on. And finally on to Ray, the violent, anti-capitalist: "We're closing this business in the name of Jesus, in your name Lord," prayed Redding's husband, Ray. "We pray you'll rain fire from heaven down on the situation. Soften the heart of the ownership of this building, Lord.""Rain fire"?! Then "soften the heart"? Seems like he is asking for things to happen in the wrong order. When Luigi Viscoti visit your little establishment to inquire about the protection money, he doesn't burn it down first then demand payment. Sort of silly that way. If god decides to follow this yahoo's advice and actually rain fire down on the poor building, softening the heart of the owner is going to be awfully hard after the fact. Sort of like when he hardened Pharoah's heart when Moses asked Pharoah to let his people go. Seems like if god was smart he would soften the heart first, let the people go, then harden the heart. But logic was never god's, nor this tools finest subject in school. Now we get to the outright lies and falsehoods: Community Action Summit, headed by former Florida Christian Coalition executive director Terry Kemple, says that the bikini bar will bring a host of social ills.Wow! 400 in a year! What a place... But is it really true?!? Actually, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, the Plant City club has only had about 55 police calls so far this year. Of those, said Lt. Carmen Rivas, many were false-alarm burglary calls; others were calls for accidents at a nearby intersection called in from the club.Oh, nevermind. But isn't that just typical of overwrought jeebus freaks? Make shit up! We are not smart enough to acutally call the police and find out the real stats, so no one else will be either! Until someone does. That doesn't make Warren feel safer. Showgirls is alone on a highway; the club in Valrico will be nestled between businesses, one of them a cheerleading school, and will be within walking distance from homes.A cheerleading school! What a perfect training academy! It is Florida, so you know half of the cheerleaders in the schools are going to end up in just such an establishment one day anyway. This way they won't need to learn new directions to their new jobs. You have to admire their... stupidity: "Whether the business comes or not, we'll still be praying," she said.If it comes, your prayers were useless. But that will never occur to your shrunken brain. If they do get kicked out, come round to my neighborhood. Plenty boring and we could use something nice to look at.
Well, She's Not A Golfer But I would let her play through any time. I give you Jeon Ji Hyun's belly button: ![]() Oh, and all the rest of her. I am really bummed about the apparent boycott of KFG's (Korean Female Golfer) belly buttons by the mainstream media. Does anyone really want to look at dumpy ole KJ Choi when Grace Park or Pak Se Ri are out there flashing their abs? Bonus! I give you Lee Hyo Ri: ![]() Poor girl is all wet. Wouldn't want her to get a chest cold. Quick, somone change clothes with her!
Eccentric, All Right Living where I do, I get about 6 local newspapers. One of the weirdest is known as the Middleburg Eccentric. In this oddly colorful paper is something called Red vs Blue wherin "Each month in this space Mark Tate (Red) and Dan Morrow (Blue) provide absolutely definitive, perfectly reasoned and indisputably global solutions to all the world’s great problems . . . In around 150 words or less." So these two blowhards think that by only filling the paper with 150 words of their nuttiness will they be able to better put their point across. Unfortunately, one of the idiots (Mark Tate) writes stupidity the likes of this: Intelligent design and the theory of evolution, these two theories explain man’s existence on earth. One says that Man was created by an intelligent being, probably God. The other says that man evolved from a primordial sludge.Now, I have no problem with people pontificating on things that they barely understand (why else would I and most bloggers be here?) but you should have at least a passing interest in what you are trying to tear down so that your arguments might be somewhat cogent and coherent. Not so, Mr. Tate. As has been pointed out ad infinitum, the Theory of Evolution doesn't have anything to do with "primordial sludge". It is just concerned with what happens after that. And anyway, how being constructed out of "pimordial sludge" is any worse than the god way "Genesis 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul" has never been explained to me. Science classes shouldn't be held hostage to the whims of the populace. Stating that "There are millions of Americans who believe in an intelligent design theory" holds no weight with me. Millions of people believe in astrology, ghosts, UFOs and the Bermuda Triangle but those topics do not get any play in school. Neither should ID. Teaching something "at home and in church" does not make it correct. But then, like most of these idiots, Mr. Tate backtracks and says that there is evolution... Just not of the (oddly capitalized) "Primordial Sludge" variety. Well, is there or isn't there? And we end up with the "teach the controversy" argument. But with a backhand slap at science in general "...the other faith in ever changing science." Yeah, like your god got everything right the first time and never had to make any changes (see the great flood). Science changes because it is interested in the truth. Years ago the earth was the center of the universe. Science proved it otherwise. I am glad that science has the ability to change when faced with new, proven facts. Unliek this tool who will stick with his same narrow view of life as told to him by whatever undereducated preracher currently tickles his fancy. The other odd thing about the Eccentric is the pictures. Middleburg is home tom a bunch of overly wealthy, white folks with nothing better to do than have horse shows on their 52 acre, $5.8 million estates: ![]() This kid just looks wierd. ![]() Yeah, that looks normal. ![]() Hey, how did the Corsair Clan ancestral home get in here!?! See ya, I'm off to the ballroom for some dancing (that ABC show has got me all hot and bothered). Wednesday, June 15, 2005
So There Much like most of her "supporters": Autopsy: Schiavo's brain half the normal sizeSo shut up already. The poor woman should have been dead 10 or 15 years ago. Monday, June 13, 2005
I Was Going to do This One But since someone better than me (duh) did it, I will only need to point you to it: Invasion of Space by Female: Over the next few days, al-Qahtani is subjected to a drill known as Invasion of Space by a FemaleRTWT Sunday, June 12, 2005
Spent the Day in the Emerald Isles Saturday was spend the day at the Potomac Celtic Festival in Leesburg, Virginia. Might as well as have been held in the fiery pits of Hell as that was the approximate temperature during this event. Saw some interesting Pipe and Drum bands, like this fellow's here: ![]() and here's another: ![]() And here is a picture of a lovely fellow who not only ignored the heat, he strove mightily to create a lot more of it for those festival-goers who walked around asking "hot enough for ya?" ![]() All in all a good time was had by the whole Corsair Clan. There is something stirring about bagpipe music that no other instrument can match. Haggis and other old world "delicacies" were available, but the heat and the restless Clan made it so one couldn't remember one's name, let alone the directions to the haggis vendor. Several of the Clan members indicated a desire to return next year. I think we will go in the evening when the heat is not so oppresive. I suggest you all do the same. Saturday, June 11, 2005
Give Me Some Cigs I especially want that special Bilson brand. You know, the brand that they smoke on The Shield. ![]() They look good. Too bad I don't smoke cigarettes. Friday, June 10, 2005
Cool OK, maybe I am the only one who didn't know this, but did you know tht in OS X you can print things to PDFs (like web pages and receipts and things) and have them stored in iPhoto? I have been printing those web pages you get from online web sotres that show you the order number and how much you spent and all and storing them in my Documents folder. Now I see that there is something called "Save PDF to iPhoto". Huh, I says to myself? What's up with that. Well, after selecting the aforementioned option, making up a library, and saving I see the following: ![]() Cool, huh? Now I can store all my important documents right there in iPhoto (which I backup every night anyway). Is this company (Apple) cool, or what? Wednesday, June 08, 2005
God Damn Allergies If god is soooo smart about designing things, what the hell was he thinking when it came to allergies? I can't go two minutes without Niagara Falls rushing out my nostrils coating the front of my face. It will all dry up in a month or so, but until then I am miserable, can't breathe, drip snot into my food (if I am too late with the tissues), and want to live in a bubble! I could understand if it was a useful allergy, like an alergy against getting bit by tigers, or an allergy for swimming in lava or something. But my allergies appear to be related to grass. WTF!?!? Evolutionarily or by design, what the hell is the use for an allergy to grass?! It is not like I am eating it and the allergy would warn me to stay away (although why I would have a problem eating grass is unknown to me). Grass is just there! Why be allergic to it just part of the year? Allergies are stupid. UPDATE: They make me so miserable I don't even want to post. That sucks. Friday, June 03, 2005
Idiotic Rose Colored Glasses of Youth You know how you have treasured memories of a kinder, slower childhood filled with friends, games, and favorite TV shows? I have long had the those sort of feelings for a fondly remmbered show of my youth, HR Pufnstuf from Sid and Marty Kroft. It was created in 1969 at the height of the counterculture drug craze. And it shows ![]() It opens with some 12-year old British accent kid getting in a strange boat with his talking flute (how many times did they drop acid to come up with this story line?) ![]() He gets out on some strange island populated with talking trees, withces, and a big mushroom (see where this is heading) headed being who talks sort of like Gomer Pyle. ![]() I thouhgt this stuff was the bee's kness when I was just a youngling pirate. I look at it now and the obviousness of people's changing tastes is evident. What an awful show. But I liked it when younger so what does that say about me? Wednesday, June 01, 2005
So There... More anti-ID stuff: "Follow the evidence," advises Mr. Akyol. Fair enough. ID is supported, as against Darwinian evolution, by no positive evidence. None. It ekes out its existence in the gaps, in what we do not -- yet -- know about the origin and evolution of the universe. This, as the rest of us must see, is a progressively cramped space. ID is not merely bad science; it is anti-science, and not just that but anti-clear thinking. Any neutral observer of ID must see that ID begins with its desired conclusion and then selects evidence (which implies, a fortiori, that it excludes other evidence) and constructs arguments to support it. The "theory" of ID is, in fact, a rather charming example of my "theory" of NQBD.So there. Uhm, eww. Only a Designer would have had the infinite wisdom and compassion to create tapeworms that grow up to eighty feet long in the intestines of human beings - tapeworms with twenty to thirty hooks and a suckers on its head to prevent being swept away by the passage of food. Tapeworms are "designed" without digestive systems but with the ability to soak up the digested food of their hosts like a sponge soaks up water. And tapeworm eggs, which have to pass through the stomach, are coated with an acid-resistant protein similar to what makes up our fingernails. Furthermore, each worm has both testes and ovaries to facilitate sexual reproduction so they don't have to let their suckers loose for an instant to go search for a mate in the romantic darkness of your intestines.Thanks, ScottC. Guess I can skip my next meal now.
Where's The Outrage Now? When Newsweek incorrectly reported that a Koran had been flushed down a a toilet in the US's Guantanamo Bay prison, crazy Islamoids around the world denounced us for "desecrating" their "holy book". Sixteen people were reported killed in Afghanistan because of the demonstrations. Where is the outrage now when an Islmonazi bomber blows himself up in a mosque right before a service? "The wounded are telling me that a suicide attacker entered the mosque and then blew himself up," hospital chief Mohammed Hashim Alokozai said.You think maybe there would be a bit of outrage had the US dropped a bomb on them from a Predator drone whilst they were in their debasing themselves before their "god"? Even if they could have all been identified as leaders in Al Qaida? All the left wing kooks and their Islamonazi traveling partners would be demanding the US be hauled before the international and tried for crimes against humanity (what happens when you get convicted at the international court? Do you pick up trash on international freeways?). In fact, the desecration of their tired little book happens all the time in Arab and Muslim countries. Everytime there is an explosion in front of a mosque in Pakistan think about what the victims were doing there. Probably going to or coming back from prayers. Probably with their little book with them. Their little book that is now half burnt and covered with human body parts. Is that any way to treat a "holy book?" And all that is verifiable in many countries around the world. Not some made up story in Newsweek. It just proves that no matter what the US does, it always gets blamed. |
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