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In the Enemy's Camp

As odd as it sounds, Corsair the Rational Pirate was Corsair the Bored Churhgoer today. Mrs. Corsair threatened all sorts of unspecified actions were I not to start attending with her. As I had been able to put it off for quite some time, I caved and went. I really am not all that happy exposing the younger Corsair Clan members to the insidious influence that is organized religion and Christianity in particular. I seem to have done well with Corsair Jr. who treats it like a bit of a joke (I will have to stoke that fire a little higher).

Princess Corsair I actually proved that children are smarter than so called adults when it comes to church as she asked why we were going to church this morning. Mrs. Corsair came up with some non-specific answer about loving god or something and the Princess then wondered why we couldn't just pray at home. As I am not the most educated bible reader, I am not sure about this, but does it say anywhere in that esteemed book of fiction that people must bestir themselves from a comfortable Sunday morning lazing about the house, drive halfway across town, endure faux-rock music full of empty platitudes lifted directly from the Book of How To Flatter Kim Jong Il, and then listen to a man spout pseudo-psychlogical, feel good claptrap based on a few lines written in a book completed 2000 years before the invention of real psychology? Which chapter and verse was that again?

So, being that I am stuck in the unenviable situation of having, like our lord jeebus, to endure such early morning silliness, I thought I would see if anything the guy said made sense. It did, but not in the way he put it all together.

Pastorman took the following for his sermon today:

Joshua 1

1:1 Now after the death of Moses the servant of the LORD it came to pass, that the LORD spake unto Joshua the son of Nun, Moses' minister, saying,
1:2 Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thou, and all this people, unto the land which I do give to them, even to the children of Israel.
1:3 Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you, as I said unto Moses.

First he spent an inordinate amount of time on the phrase "my servant is dead", saying that Joshua probably already knew this since he was Moses' assistant. Well, duh, if the bible is anything it is a font of obvious knowledge. But why did god have to remind this Joshua fellow that his boss was pushing up the daisies? Because it was finally time for Josh to gather up the desert wanderers and "cross the river" into the unknown that is the future and take the "promised land" away from those currently inhabiting it. And he guaranteed it since he is god, you know.

Then came the psych part. Because of this nonsense in the bible, we the sheep shouldn't be afraid to cross our own personal rivers and do what god wants us to do since he will take care of us when we do. No mention of people who fail in what they do and resort to suicide or bankruptcy or illegal activities but then you knew that god only looks out for successful people.

Then pastorman starts in with the "I'm not worthy" shit. What is it in the christian psyche that feels the need to tell themselves that they are worthless pieces of shit that can't make it in the world without jeebus' personal intervention? I've done pretty good and I am not worthless. I took some chances, made some risky choices, had a few close calls, spent some sleepless nights and spent not one minute on my knees asking god for advice. I am sure that a lot of the god botherers would find that they too can do well without asking for guidance for their every action. Are people really that weak that they can't fend for themselves and that psycholgically damaged that they feel the need to denigrate not only those who don't believe like they do (You're going to hell!) but themselves as well (I'm a worthless sinner)?

So really all it comes down to is to live your life well because god is looking out for you. Or you can live your life well without worrying about god looking out for you and end up in the same place but with a much better view of yourself and others. As Stuart Smalley says:

"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough and Doggone It, People Like Me,"

Oh, the the fake rock? I just wanted to pour molten lead in my ears to make it stop. The Creed wannabe singer kept advertising the next line while people were finishing the current line despite the fact that the lyrics were being projected on the big screen above his head. Sort of like in second grade when Miss Masters kept the kiddies singing correctly by feeding them the next one.

Why is it every time I enter a church it feels like I am going back to kindergarten?

Oh, and what about that promise of god's to Josh? Turns out he lies again:

God promises to give Joshua all of the land that his "foot shall tread upon." He says that none of the people he encounters will be able to resist him. But God didn't keep his promise; many tribes withstood Joshua's attempt to steal their land.

Joshua 15:63 As for the Jebusites the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the children of Judah could not drive them out; but the Jebusites dwell with the children of Judah at Jerusalem unto this day.

Joshua 16:10 And they drave not out the Canaanites that dwelt in Gezer: but the Canaanites dwell among the Ephraimites unto this day, and serve under tribute.

Judges 1 1:21 And the children of Benjamin did not drive out the Jebusites that inhabited Jerusalem; but the Jebusites dwell with the children of Benjamin in Jerusalem unto this day.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 18:45

That's a Lot of Deficit

Seems the Palestinians are taking cues from the Bush hitehouse when it comes to their budget. I saw the following in the WaPo this morning:

Nigel Roberts, director of the World Bank in the West Bank and Gaza, said the Palestinian Authority faces a $500 billion budget deficit in a planned $1.4 billion annual budget. Because Palestine is not a country, that gap cannot be financed on the world bond markets. "The Palestinians have enormous problems meeting their recurrent obligations," he said. "This money is certainly very welcome."

Dayum! What'd they spend all that money on? Judging from today's news, some of it must have gone into suicide blast belts. I guess the rest is sitting in Arafat's bank acount in Sitzerland.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:28

Now You See Them, Now You Don't

Yunjin Kim of ABC's Lost show, gets to show off a lot more in last week's episode.



I think the caption should read "Are they okay?" And yes they appear to be.

Although where they went in this scene is just another of the mysteries on this mysterious island:



And here is proof she actually is a Korean lady. Notice the decided lack of a backside:



And finally, when Sun's hubby goes off to give a message to some Minister guy, we see this in background:



That appears to be Hurley on the screen with Korean subtitles!! WTF does that mean?
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 22:38

Yeah, Baby!

I must admit it, Corsair the Rational Pirates wooden leg gets a little stiffer whenever Condi Rice enters the room.

Case in point:

A couple of years ago, Der Spiegel did the following cover of the Bush team, including the leather-clad Condi:



And just recently (in Germany, coincidentally) Condi was seen sporting this tasty little number:



Those boots! That coat! Diplomatize me, baby!

One more:


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 22:10

Just Shoot Me, Digitally


Since everyone else in the world was getting high end digital cameras, I decided to jump in the pool as well. The Corsair Cave now sports one incredibly cool Nikon D70, SB600 flash, 18-70mm main lens, and 70-210mm zoom lens (the 18-70mm is technically a zoom but it feels more like a "regular" lens).

Why a Nikon and not join the darkside by getting a Canon? Don't know, just felt better in my hand. And of course all the cool kids have one. Don't they?

I got the camera kit and flash at Amazon mainly to insulate myself form all the hucksters out there. Sure I did the internet search thing and tried froogle and buy and shopping and all those but is seems that Nikon has a lock on all the refutable dealers in the world and the price, much like Apple hardware, is fixed to whatever they want it to be. There were plenty of places willing to sell me the gray market version for a couple of hundred bucks less than Amazon, but then where would I be when the thing went tits up and all I have was an instruction book in Serbo Croatian and no real warranty?

And you need an instruction book in some language the you can read and understand. Despite being a generally good amateur photographer who has owned many a analog and digital camera for many years, I felt the need to actually read the manual as this thing is more than a mere camera, an F-16 cockpit doesn't have as many buttons as the back of this thing! But all the buttons are supposed to be strategically placed so that when you venture out of "Auto-everything" mode and into one of the 4 manual modes, you will be able to engage in all sorts of changeability right at your fingertips.

The camera itself is a flawless piece of work. Sturdy yet not too heavy, it feels good in your hand. The bullnosed, kit lens has gotten some rave reviews and is quick and clean and the flash has a great recycling time as well as a wealth of features that I can only begin to imagine (since I haven't read the book on this thing yet).

And the best part about this camera is that it takes great pictures (not what you'ld expect, huh?)! Even in auto everything mode the pics come out sharp and clean in "Fine" JPG format (at about 2.5 MBs per pic). It will take Nikon's RAW images if you want but they tend to top out at over 5 MBs and don't seem to offer any advantages over the best JPG format offered. iPhoto, nicely enough doesn't have an issue with Nikon's RAW images, I just couldn't see the efficacy of sucking up so much hard drive space when I really don't plan on doing all that much post production in Photoshop or some other package (although I do tend to play a little with sharpening and some other tools).

The instant-on power is a huge change over my last Nikon, the Coolpix 4300 which took 15-20 seconds to get ready to take a pic. Meanwhile the subject has left the stadium. Just tonight I was playing with the multi-shot function and even with the flash on was getting great results (4 or 5 pics before losing the flash for a shot then resuming). The books claim you can take up to 9 shots in FINE JPG mode before you swamp the buffer and are forced to stop. This will be fun to test come soccer season. I am using a Lexar 40x 1GB card and the camera claims to be able to fit about 250 shots on it.

Can I say enough good things about this photographic monster? Nope! But I do feel bad for those who have fallen under the sway of the Canon world. You don't know what you are missing.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 21:28

What's the Date Again?

Just got the following phish spam:

eedback Assistance

PayPal is committed to maintaining a safe environment for its community of buyers and sellers. To protect the security of your account, PayPal employs some of the most advanced security systems in the world and our anti-fraud teams regularly screen the PayPal system for unusual activity.

We are contacting you to inform you that on Mar. 15, 2005 our Account Review Team identified some unusual activity in your account. In accordance with PayPal's User Agreement and to ensure that your account has not been compromised, access to your account was limited. Your account access will remain limited until this issue has been resolved.

It comes from the future!!! I better watch my paypal account in a couple of weeks, it seems someone is messing with it.

Wow, the Intarweb is a wonderful thing! Now if only someone would email the results of the third race at Pimlico on Mar 15.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 06:32

Yeah, That Jefferson Guy Was Stupid

Here in the Commonwealth of Virginia, we got more than our fair share of stupid, religious tools who think they know not only better than the rest of us, but better than those silly frat boys known as the founding fathers.

How can this be, you ask? Read on, MacDuff:

The amendment to Article I, Section 16, would have inserted a paragraph amid wording on religious liberty composed by founding fathers Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and George Mason and unchanged since 1786.

Jefferson, Madison, Mason... what a bunch of know-nothings.

Del. Charles W. Carrico Sr. (R-Grayson), who authored the proposed amendment, said it would strengthen and preserve the spirit of the founders' words. New language was needed, he said, to counter court decisions that have persecuted Christians and expelled expressions of faith from the public square.

"Our country was built upon the Christian principles of the Bible," he told the committee. "Today our Constitution, in my opinion, has to be strengthened to protect those rights of all Christians around the nation."

Once again, does the Bible figure anywhere in the founding documents? Is jehovah referenced? Or Noah and hsi ridiculous ark? Or that salt pillar woman? Other than the fact that the FF attended church, what proof is there that they cracked open the bible every time they got ready to put quill to parchment?

And how about we examine these so called immutable biblical principles. How about the one where it was ok for darker complected individuals to be held against their will as slaves to all those god-fearing yokels down in the South? I don't remember Jeebus whipping his slaves when they didn't reel off the 10 Commandments quick enough (although I am sure you can find all sorts of awful slave rules in the OT).

And notice the current outcry of the religious right about the status of women in Saudi Arabia and the former Afghanistan. Seems they can't hold property or vote or attend college... gee, starting to sound a lot like the US in the early, so-called "Christian" days. Voting women? Nope. Land holding? Not sure, but I would bet against it.

So, if the bible is the 100 percent word of god and if the US was based on those words, how come we have 27 Ammendments to our "christian based" documents? I would have assumed that when the FFs created the founding docs based on the bible, they would have made them perfect the first time.

Not that Charles W. Carrico Sr. would understand that. He also doesn't understand turning the other cheek and christian charity:

Constitutional amendments require the approval of two successive general assemblies before they are put to a statewide referendum. Monday's vote, therefore, delays the possible adoption of the amendment by two years. Carrico pledged, however, that he would not give up on the idea.

Four Republicans joined the committee's six Democrats in opposing the amendment. After the vote, Farris, who is active in the Republican Party, singled them out for criticism. He said the senators could find that the vote comes up in GOP primary challenges.

"This vote is fair game," he said. "People who feel that the time is right for this protection have the right to elect officials who share that view."

Gee, sounds more like a gangster than a duly elected representative of the people.

Hope he doesn't have an accident on the way home from work...
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 22:41

Great Show

Just saw a National Geographic show on Arlington National Cemetary, the history and tradtions. I worked right by the place for 8 months and never bothered to stop by, now I feel sorry I never did.

I plan on doing so soon.



Find out if it is playing on your local PBS station and block out that hour.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 22:01

Got To Go To Work

Today is the first day of work. I have to be there at 9:00 am for inprocessing. Should I leave at 8:50 or assume that the stop sign will be busy and leave at 8:45?

Bwahahahaha!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:25

Impetigo!

No, it is not a family fun game ("You sunk my Impetigo!"), but a skin infection that is generally caused by one of two bacteria: Group A streptococcus or Staphylococcus aureus.

Turns out Corsair Jr. is crawling with it. Below his lower lip looks like a battle occured. Went to the sawbones today, he took one look at it and ran screaming from the room perscribed cephalixhixheihexs...es. Or something like that.

What was cool was the perscription itself. He whipped out hsi Palm Pilot thingies, pushed a few buttons and sent the request over the to the Food Lion pharmacy instantly! No more unreadable doc-script on some easily lost piece of paper. Woohoo! Welcome to the 21st century!

Corsair Jr. has to spend some time at home as his school system doesn't want him infection all the other little monsters.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:47

Darkness

I just finished as much of the Harry Turtledove Darkness series as I could scare up from a variety of sources.



(I don't put the above pictures any kind of order because, frankly I have no idea which book is which, despite having just read it.)

This series, like the war it uses as the backdrop, seems to go on forever. I hate multi-book series that do not make it obvious where in the series each book belongs. As I finished one book, I would have to reference the series list inside the books to try and find the next one! A nice big numeral on the cover or spine would have helped.

The series itself is interesting in that once you get so far into it you really don't want to have wasted your time by putting it down. I know that doesn't seem like such a rousing endorsement, but after the first book or two there really isn't anything new or interesting happening. You get to know the characters presented and you just sort of want to see how they make out. I suppose I could have skipped several of the middle books and moved right to the end, but that would be cheating.

One of the more promising threads early in the series, dealing with Pekka and her discovery of more potent energy, actually spends much of the series going nowhere. Other than her conflicted love interest, we don't get much in the way of magic development that her story portended.

And of course the back and forth of the two protagonist armies does get a little tedious (as I am sure really happened in WWII). Parts of this could have been eleviated by the addition of a few more interesting maps (but then that would make this a big deal of a series and not something that Turtledove through together in a long weekend).

I think there is one more book that I have yet to read, if I can track it down. I assume I will only to put some closure on this series.

I have moved on to David Brin's Uplift series beginning with Sundiver:



Let us hope this is more memorable.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:07

Say "Hi!" to Corsair the Photographical Pirate

Woohoo! Uncle Sam's largesse in giving me back my own money has allowed me to increase the US trade deficit by purchasing one (1) Nikon D70 with accompanying Nikon SB-600 Speedlight Flash. Amazon.com (as well as J&R Music World) got my money and I should be getting my goods in about a week or so.

Expect many more pics of a variety of nonsensical nonsense in the coming months.

And Mrs. Corsair even said it was "ok"! (Not that I told her how much it cost... I am not a complete moron).
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 19:18

Lunch With the Kids

Being the unemployed loser that I am, I decided to spend some time in Princess Corsair I's classroom today helping out. I was the adult in charge of "money bingo" where the little hellions had to fill up their bingo cards based on coinage.

It was silly but kept the kids interested (except one little monster who said I was "doing it wrong". How that was possible since I was making up the game as I went along he didn't explain).

After 2 hours of game time it was off to the caffeteria for some wholesome eating. My lunch today:



Yams, fruit cup, and pizza. Oh, and chocolate milk of course. All for the unbeatable price of $2.45.

Luckily I didn't get the chicken nuggets as I don't think I was too enamored of them last time I visited the school.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:52

Apple's Pages Isn't an HTML Editor

I thought I could use Apple's new Pages software to create some simple HTML web pages (since there is a "Export to HTML" option) but I was wrong.

I made a couple of pages, exported them and viewed them in Safari. They were a complete mess. Yuck.

Lesson learned. It is a nice Pagemaker replacement, it is not a Dreamweaver replacement.

That is all.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:22

Unemployed!

I am officialy unemployed for the next few days. Sitting at home watching the tube, drinking beer, abusing the dog, and complaining about shit I have no control over (the war in Iraq, taxes, that thing getting steadily bigger on my ass).

Couple of days of this and I will be happy to get back to work.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:16

As Heard in the Movies

Specifically in this movie:

Laurence Fishburn (as Bishop):

I've stood in front of dozens of men who were all staring death in the face. Every single one them begged for god's help.

After seeing all those pleas go unanswered, I lost my faith.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:11

♫ The Wheels on the Bus ♫

Don't go around, don't go around, don't go around



This really isn't a good advertisement for mass transit.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:30

I am as Big an Asiaphile as the Next Guy

But this pretty much is just wrong:



From Coolpis no less.

UPDATE this post don't work (the other one as well) I will fix it tonight when I get home.

UPDATE 2: Fixed it. I really hope this is a photoshop.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:19

Slam!

Michael Behe is a tool. Here is a response to his recent posting on the NY Times:

In evolution, as in all areas of science, our knowledge is incomplete. But the entire success of the scientific enterprise has depended on an insistence that these gaps be filled by natural explanations, logically derived from confirmable evidence. Because "intelligent design" theories are based on supernatural explanations, they can have nothing to do with science.

Waving your arms and calling on god is not science.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:38

Lost

I managed not to see Lost on ABC when it first came out. What a moron. I sort of got ahold of it... You know, to preview it before I actually bought it... Oh, you say it isn't out on DVD yet? Well. Say?! Isn't that Elvis!

Anyway, I missed it the first time but now I wished I'd watched. It has beautiful scenery, lush jungles, action, adventure, and did I mention the beautiful scenery?



Look! You can even see a belly button... No, stupid, look lower.

Sheesh, some guys are easily distracted.

The above loverly lady appears to be an up and coming star of the show, along with square-jawed Dr. Man.

Back to the show!

UPDATE: Ok, after wasting my weekend watching 15 episodes of this show I can come up with some points:

• Why doesn't anything seem to think it all that odd that they killed a polar bear in the tropics? Maybe someone should go back and check it out?


• Why not go ahead and try to contact the French lady again. I am sure the Losties could use some of that power she is sucking up from the cable that mysteriously comes out of the ocean.


• How about a survey?! It appears that Sayid was starting one when he wandered away from the group after the torture scene. You could even start by just going up and see what there is to see.


• The little black kid has the power to make things happen. He was reading the Spanish comic book about polar bears when one is killed. He can call his dice when playing backgammon. He crashed a bird into his window in Australia. And he made the knife go where he wanted it to go when practicing with Locke.


• When the monster wanders around in the forest knocking things over, can't Locke and others get together and trail that big beastie? They followed Ethan around for miles in one episode.


• Locke and Boone(?) find a buried "thing" with a hatch that they can't open. Why not? dig around it! Drop a rock on it! Shoot it with a gun! Redirect water over the top of it until it washes away! If this thing is so important, call some people over and get to work.

I am not sure if the writer's of this show know where the story is going or if they are making it up as they go along. They seem to bring things up and then drop them without explaining anything just to keep the story mysterious.

There are a couple of eps left this year and they better clear up some questions and not go into hiatus with nothing answered or they are going to lose a lot of people over the summer.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 19:39

Just Saying

I am putting this here so that it doesn't disappear off the original site. Read it, you know you want to:

This article can be found on the web at
http://www.thenation.com/doc.mhtml?i=20050221&s=allen
Our Godless Constitution

by BROOKE ALLEN

[from the February 21, 2005 issue]

It is hard to believe that George Bush has ever read the works of George Orwell, but he seems, somehow, to have grasped a few Orwellian precepts. The lesson the President has learned best--and certainly the one that has been the most useful to him--is the axiom that if you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it. One of his Administration's current favorites is the whopper about America having been founded on Christian principles. Our nation was founded not on Christian principles but on Enlightenment ones. God only entered the picture as a very minor player, and Jesus Christ was conspicuously absent.

Our Constitution makes no mention whatever of God. The omission was too obvious to have been anything but deliberate, in spite of Alexander Hamilton's flippant responses when asked about it: According to one account, he said that the new nation was not in need of "foreign aid"; according to another, he simply said "we forgot." But as Hamilton's biographer Ron Chernow points out, Hamilton never forgot anything important.

In the eighty-five essays that make up The Federalist, God is mentioned only twice (both times by Madison, who uses the word, as Gore Vidal has remarked, in the "only Heaven knows" sense). In the Declaration of Independence, He gets two brief nods: a reference to "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God," and the famous line about men being "endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights." More blatant official references to a deity date from long after the founding period: "In God We Trust" did not appear on our coinage until the Civil War, and "under God" was introduced into the Pledge of Allegiance during the McCarthy hysteria in 1954 [see Elisabeth Sifton, "The Battle Over the Pledge," April 5, 2004].

In 1797 our government concluded a "Treaty of Peace and Friendship between the United States of America and the Bey and Subjects of Tripoli, or Barbary," now known simply as the Treaty of Tripoli. Article 11 of the treaty contains these words:

As the Government of the United States...is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion--as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity of Musselmen--and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

This document was endorsed by Secretary of State Timothy Pickering and President John Adams. It was then sent to the Senate for ratification; the vote was unanimous. It is worth pointing out that although this was the 339th time a recorded vote had been required by the Senate, it was only the third unanimous vote in the Senate's history. There is no record of debate or dissent. The text of the treaty was printed in full in the Philadelphia Gazette and in two New York papers, but there were no screams of outrage, as one might expect today.

The Founding Fathers were not religious men, and they fought hard to erect, in Thomas Jefferson's words, "a wall of separation between church and state." John Adams opined that if they were not restrained by legal measures, Puritans--the fundamentalists of their day--would "whip and crop, and pillory and roast." The historical epoch had afforded these men ample opportunity to observe the corruption to which established priesthoods were liable, as well as "the impious presumption of legislators and rulers," as Jefferson wrote, "civil as well as ecclesiastical, who, being themselves but fallible and uninspired men, have assumed dominion over the faith of others, setting up their own opinions and modes of thinking as the only true and infallible, and as such endeavoring to impose them on others, hath established and maintained false religions over the greatest part of the world and through all time."

If we define a Christian as a person who believes in the divinity of Jesus Christ, then it is safe to say that some of the key Founding Fathers were not Christians at all. Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and Tom Paine were deists--that is, they believed in one Supreme Being but rejected revelation and all the supernatural elements of the Christian Church; the word of the Creator, they believed, could best be read in Nature. John Adams was a professed liberal Unitarian, but he, too, in his private correspondence seems more deist than Christian.

George Washington and James Madison also leaned toward deism, although neither took much interest in religious matters. Madison believed that "religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprize." He spoke of the "almost fifteen centuries" during which Christianity had been on trial: "What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution." If Washington mentioned the Almighty in a public address, as he occasionally did, he was careful to refer to Him not as "God" but with some nondenominational moniker like "Great Author" or "Almighty Being." It is interesting to note that the Father of our Country spoke no words of a religious nature on his deathbed, although fully aware that he was dying, and did not ask for a man of God to be present; his last act was to take his own pulse, the consummate gesture of a creature of the age of scientific rationalism.

Tom Paine, a polemicist rather than a politician, could afford to be perfectly honest about his religious beliefs, which were baldly deist in the tradition of Voltaire: "I believe in one God, and no more; and I hope for happiness beyond this life.... I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church." This is how he opened The Age of Reason, his virulent attack on Christianity. In it he railed against the "obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness" of the Old Testament, "a history of wickedness, that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind." The New Testament is less brutalizing but more absurd, the story of Christ's divine genesis a "fable, which for absurdity and extravagance is not exceeded by any thing that is to be found in the mythology of the ancients." He held the idea of the Resurrection in especial ridicule: Indeed, "the wretched contrivance with which this latter part is told, exceeds every thing that went before it." Paine was careful to contrast the tortuous twists of theology with the pure clarity of deism. "The true deist has but one Deity; and his religion consists in contemplating the power, wisdom, and benignity of the Deity in his works, and in endeavoring to imitate him in every thing moral, scientifical, and mechanical."

Paine's rhetoric was so fervent that he was inevitably branded an atheist. Men like Franklin, Adams and Jefferson could not risk being tarred with that brush, and in fact Jefferson got into a good deal of trouble for continuing his friendship with Paine and entertaining him at Monticello. These statesmen had to be far more circumspect than the turbulent Paine, yet if we examine their beliefs it is all but impossible to see just how theirs differed from his.

Franklin was the oldest of the Founding Fathers. He was also the most worldly and sophisticated, and was well aware of the Machiavellian principle that if one aspires to influence the masses, one must at least profess religious sentiments. By his own definition he was a deist, although one French acquaintance claimed that "our free-thinkers have adroitly sounded him on his religion, and they maintain that they have discovered he is one of their own, that is that he has none at all." If he did have a religion, it was strictly utilitarian: As his biographer Gordon Wood has said, "He praised religion for whatever moral effects it had, but for little else." Divine revelation, Franklin freely admitted, had "no weight with me," and the covenant of grace seemed "unintelligible" and "not beneficial." As for the pious hypocrites who have ever controlled nations, "A man compounded of law and gospel is able to cheat a whole country with his religion and then destroy them under color of law"--a comment we should carefully consider at this turning point in the history of our Republic.

Here is Franklin's considered summary of his own beliefs, in response to a query by Ezra Stiles, the president of Yale. He wrote it just six weeks before his death at the age of 84.

Here is my creed. I believe in one God, Creator of the universe. That he governs it by his providence. That he ought to be worshipped. That the most acceptable service we render to him is doing good to his other children. That the soul of Man is immortal, and will be treated with justice in another life respecting its conduct in this. These I take to be the fundamental points in all sound religion, and I regard them as you do in whatever sect I meet with them.
As for Jesus of Nazareth, my opinion of whom you particularly desire, I think his system of morals and his religion, as he left them to us, the best the world ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting changes, and I have, with most of the present dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity; though it is a question I do not dogmatize upon, having never studied it, and think it needless to busy myself with now, when I expect soon an opportunity of knowing the truth with less trouble. I see no harm, however, in its being believed, if that belief has the good consequence, as it probably has, of making his doctrines more respected and better observed, especially as I do not perceive that the Supreme takes it amiss, by distinguishing the unbelievers in his government of the world with any particular marks of his displeasure.

Jefferson thoroughly agreed with Franklin on the corruptions the teachings of Jesus had undergone. "The metaphysical abstractions of Athanasius, and the maniacal ravings of Calvin, tinctured plentifully with the foggy dreams of Plato, have so loaded [Christianity] with absurdities and incomprehensibilities" that it was almost impossible to recapture "its native simplicity and purity." Like Paine, Jefferson felt that the miracles claimed by the New Testament put an intolerable strain on credulity. "The day will come," he predicted (wrongly, so far), "when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter." The Revelation of St. John he dismissed as "the ravings of a maniac."

Jefferson edited his own version of the New Testament, "The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth," in which he carefully deleted all the miraculous passages from the works of the Evangelists. He intended it, he said, as "a document in proof that I am a real Christian, that is to say, a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus." This was clearly a defense against his many enemies, who hoped to blacken his reputation by comparing him with the vile atheist Paine. His biographer Joseph Ellis is undoubtedly correct, though, in seeing disingenuousness here: "If [Jefferson] had been completely scrupulous, he would have described himself as a deist who admired the ethical teachings of Jesus as a man rather than as the son of God. (In modern-day parlance, he was a secular humanist.)" In short, not a Christian at all.

The three accomplishments Jefferson was proudest of--those that he requested be put on his tombstone--were the founding of the University of Virginia and the authorship of the Declaration of Independence and the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom. The latter was a truly radical document that would eventually influence the separation of church and state in the US Constitution; when it was passed by the Virginia legislature in 1786, Jefferson rejoiced that there was finally "freedom for the Jew and the Gentile, the Christian and the Mohammeden, the Hindu and infidel of every denomination"--note his respect, still unusual today, for the sensibilities of the "infidel." The University of Virginia was notable among early-American seats of higher education in that it had no religious affiliation whatever. Jefferson even banned the teaching of theology at the school.

If we were to speak of Jefferson in modern political categories, we would have to admit that he was a pure libertarian, in religious as in other matters. His real commitment (or lack thereof) to the teachings of Jesus Christ is plain from a famous throwaway comment he made: "It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." This raised plenty of hackles when it got about, and Jefferson had to go to some pains to restore his reputation as a good Christian. But one can only conclude, with Ellis, that he was no Christian at all.

John Adams, though no more religious than Jefferson, had inherited the fatalistic mindset of the Puritan culture in which he had grown up. He personally endorsed the Enlightenment commitment to Reason but did not share Jefferson's optimism about its future, writing to him, "I wish that Superstition in Religion exciting Superstition in Polliticks...may never blow up all your benevolent and phylanthropic Lucubrations," but that "the History of all Ages is against you." As an old man he observed, "Twenty times in the course of my late reading have I been upon the point of breaking out, 'This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it!'" Speaking ex cathedra, as a relic of the founding generation, he expressed his admiration for the Roman system whereby every man could worship whom, what and how he pleased. When his young listeners objected that this was paganism, Adams replied that it was indeed, and laughed.

In their fascinating and eloquent valetudinarian correspondence, Adams and Jefferson had a great deal to say about religion. Pressed by Jefferson to define his personal creed, Adams replied that it was "contained in four short words, 'Be just and good.'" Jefferson replied, "The result of our fifty or sixty years of religious reading, in the four words, 'Be just and good,' is that in which all our inquiries must end; as the riddles of all priesthoods end in four more, 'ubi panis, ibi deus.' What all agree in, is probably right. What no two agree in, most probably wrong."

This was a clear reference to Voltaire's Reflections on Religion. As Voltaire put it:

There are no sects in geometry. One does not speak of a Euclidean, an Archimedean. When the truth is evident, it is impossible for parties and factions to arise.... Well, to what dogma do all minds agree? To the worship of a God, and to honesty. All the philosophers of the world who have had a religion have said in all ages: "There is a God, and one must be just." There, then, is the universal religion established in all ages and throughout mankind. The point in which they all agree is therefore true, and the systems through which they differ are therefore false.

Of course all these men knew, as all modern presidential candidates know, that to admit to theological skepticism is political suicide. During Jefferson's presidency a friend observed him on his way to church, carrying a large prayer book. "You going to church, Mr. J," remarked the friend. "You do not believe a word in it." Jefferson didn't exactly deny the charge. "Sir," he replied, "no nation has ever yet existed or been governed without religion. Nor can be. The Christian religion is the best religion that has been given to man and I as chief Magistrate of this nation am bound to give it the sanction of my example. Good morning Sir."

Like Jefferson, every recent President has understood the necessity of at least paying lip service to the piety of most American voters. All of our leaders, Democrat and Republican, have attended church, and have made very sure they are seen to do so. But there is a difference between offering this gesture of respect for majority beliefs and manipulating and pandering to the bigotry, prejudice and millennial fantasies of Christian extremists. Though for public consumption the Founding Fathers identified themselves as Christians, they were, at least by today's standards, remarkably honest about their misgivings when it came to theological doctrine, and religion in general came very low on the list of their concerns and priorities--always excepting, that is, their determination to keep the new nation free from bondage to its rule.

I hate that phrase "Christian Nation." Does this mean we all go to church or that the laws come out of the book of Leviticus or that blaspheming is illegal (god damn better not be).

We are a democratic nation that just happens to have a lot of Christians in it. Is it a coincidence that none of the founding documents includes the name Jeebus? If this place was such a "Christian Nation" you would think the leader of the Christians would be honored with a paragraph or two in it's hisorical documents.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:57

Infatile Obsession Again

During this drought of Female Korean Golfer belly buttons, I have to go hunting to find any other kind of Korean belly button.

Here's a nice one, and it is in motion!

Added bonus, it contains a parody if you wait until the end.

Lee Hyo Ri is quite the hottie, may I say.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:29

Movie Review - Kung Fu Hustle

Stephen Chow has done it again. Or re-done it. Or keeps on doing it.



Kung Fu Hustle is a delight to watch. You can't believe a thing in it but you really want to. It is a simple story of good versus evil, much like the last Chow movie I saw, Shaolin Soccer. Instead of crazed soccer teams being the shit out of each other, we now have what appears to be 1930s China where the gangs, specifically the Axe Gang, is kicking the shit out of everyone else. All except Pig Sty Alley where no gangster venture because, really, what's the point. They are all poor there so there is nothing to steal.



Through one misadventure or another, our hero arrives in Pig Sty Alley and causes a gang war between the Axe gang and the Landlord who, along with her husband have some hidden talents of their own.

You have to watch this movie closely to see all the amazing detailed fight scenes where people get thrown through walls, into space, smashed into every inanimate object and yet come out smelling like roses.



Really, this Chow guy can seem to do no wrong at the moment. I weep for American action movies as there hasn't been anything this fresh and interesting in years.

Somehow get your hands on this one, it is a keeper.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 21:23

Cup, Meet Pee

Had to stop off this morning and fill a little cup with a bit of used liquid. New job starts in a week and a half and they seem to want to know if I am off the ganja!

Had a bit of a rough time of it as I had forgotten the appointment and had "done my business" before leaving home.

But I managed.

I finish up here on Tuesday.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:27

Scratch My Head

Granted, I am not a elected governmnet official. Nor am I in a labor union. Nor do I spout nonsense. This guy, however appears to be all three:

Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.) said the summary lacked detail, but he did not see anything in it to assuage concerns that the new system will be worse than the old one.

"This will reinforce suspicions that the administration is trying to undermine the merit system and put politics over competence," said Van Hollen, who had a staffer at the briefing. "The question all along . . . is to make sure that you have a system that is fair, predictable and has the confidence of employees -- confidence that they are being rewarded based on merit rather than political preference or other considerations."

See, the Pentagon is trying to fix it's system of pay and raises for it's workers. They are dropping the GS rating system and geting rid of seniority-is-all-you-need pay raises and replacing them with "bands" and performance based raises. This seems to cause the good Congressman no end of heartache. But I can't see where this would politicize things or lead to less reward based on merit. In fact, won't it lead to more reward based on merit since:

Workers rated as "outstanding" will get larger pay increases than others, and unacceptable performers will receive no raises, the summary says. A raise or promotion -- moving up in a pay band or rising to the next one -- will depend on receiving a successful performance rating from a supervisor.

Other than having to suck up to your supervisor, I don't see how this is in any way political. Most of the places I have ever worked in the commercial world operated exactly like that! So why can't the government do that?

I just figured it our. Since many of the government workers I have come accross are incompetant clock watchers, it will soon become apparent that large numbers of workers will never be able to receive an "outstanding" rating and at some point someone will wonder why the government is loaded with so many clueless dunderheads! Doesn't look good if your division has nothing but unacceptable ratings. Sure, you will save money on pay raises every year, but people will start to wonder why your people are so stupid.

I say this new law can't work since the very forces of ignorance that it is attempting to root out will be the ones trying to implement it. You know they will game the system.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:46

Welcome to The Other Side of The Tracks

OK, far be it for me to make light of another person's tragedy (shaa, right), but the details in this case just scream out for some in depth analysis.

BALTIMORE, Feb. 8 -- After pleading guilty to committing an unarmed robbery, Philip E. Parker Jr. entered Maryland's prison system two years ago to serve a relatively short sentence. Last week, however, his parents learned that he would never be coming home.

"He got three years," said his mother, Melissa Rodriguez, "and he did life."

Poor sod was in for three and now he is dead. What is "unarmed robbery" you ask?

Parker, described by his parents Tuesday as a nonviolent young man, was slain on a prison bus in the predawn hours of Feb. 2 while traveling with other inmates from Hagerstown, Md., to Baltimore. He had been incarcerated since 2003 after pleading guilty to committing a robbery with a broken pellet gun, said his father, Philip E. Parker Sr.

Points for not wanting to hurt someone, I guess but you can see where this guy was headed.

I mean, look at the family:

In an interview yesterday, the parents, who have four sons but are not married, described the arc of their eldest child's life, their anguish over his death and their thirst for answers that, so far, Maryland prison authorities have not provided.

[...]

The parents, who do not live together, said a prison chaplain told them that their son had been strangled by an inmate seated behind him. The Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services has declined to discuss its investigation of the killing.

[...]

"I want to know what happened to my son," said Philip Parker Sr., who is no stranger to the dangers of prison. He said he served a one-year term and another sentence of 18 months, for grand theft and other offenses. He said he does not have a job now because he suffered a disabling back injury.

Let us review: dad has been in and out of the joint a couple of times, does not want to marry mom, only impregnate her, can't bother to live with the impregnatee, has no job, and (if you could see the pictures) is the size of a house. How do people like this survive in society? What the hell is wrong with marrying the woman who has pushed out four progeny for you? Tax reasons? And how about saving some bucks and at least live in the same house? Trying to double his mortgage deduction?

And now the recently deceased:

Parker's parents described their son as a mischievous toddler who clung to his mother, then a hyperactive youngster who was so difficult to control that, at age 8, he entered a group home.

At age 3, Philip Parker Jr. climbed out a second-story window during a snowstorm and played gleefully -- to his parents' horror -- on the roof above the kitchen in west Baltimore.

The following year, his parents said, he covered his face and the faces of his three younger brothers with a sticky tar-based sealant.

And at age 5, they said, he found an aunt's cigarette lighter and set her curtains ablaze, destroying the first floor of her home.

In adolescence, they said, Parker grew fearful of others. He eventually was found to have bipolar disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, they said. And he grew to be more than 6 feet 6 inches tall and 240 pounds.

Sorry to see that he went so quickly, and I hope they fry the guy that did this to him, but do you really see him ending up anywhere but prison?

Wow, it is amazing what you can see if you leave the confines of you comfortable suburban oasises (or is it oasi?). Maybe someone should start organizing tours to places where people like this live, I am sure it would be a most enducational outing.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:41

Get That Woman to the Hospital!

It appears the following poor dear was in a fight or got assaulted or something else traumatic:



Oh, I guess I was wrong. Here is the writeup:

A hand-constructed jacket with a draped satin.

Someone ought to let the owner of this mess know that whoever "hand-constructed" this "jacket" didn't do too good a job of it. I would take it back to Target and get one that actually, you know, covered me up. If the poor dear above had anything going on in the boob department, she would have a hard time keeping them warm.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:47

Oh, Pull Your Thumb Out

High dudgeon and nose-in-the-air sanctimony today from the SF Chron:

THERE WAS nothing amusing about Lt. Gen. James Mattis' suggestion that killing can be fun.

"It's a hell of a hoot," he said at a forum on terrorism-fighting tactics in San Diego. "It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right up front with you. I like brawling."

It was stomach-turning to think those words came from a Marine general who led 65,000 troops into Baghdad in the early days of the war, led the onslaught on the rebel stronghold of Fallujah and commanded forces in Afghanistan as well as the Persian Gulf War.

Well, if this General really did lead his troops into all those dirty and dangerous places, then I am glad he finds it a hoot to kill bad guys. That is sort of the reason we pay this guy's salary! If he was to intone that giving group hugs to murderous thugs in Fallujah and beyond is how he gets his jollies, then I think we would have to take a real hard look at what is being taught in our Command Staff colleges.

Perhaps we shouldn't be shocked that an administration that went to war with arrogant disregard for its allies' views -- and carved itself a double standard on detainment and torture of prisoners -- would fail to fully grasp the damage of Mattis' flippant remarks.

They are an insult to the memory of more than 1,400 Americans who died in this conflict and the untold thousands of Iraqi noncombatants who died from the missiles and bullets that flew in the rage of combat.

If you were to ask any of the 1,400 American soldiers who they want on their side when it comes to fighting the bad guys, I would bet that they would put General James Mattis way above the editorial board at the SF Chron. Isn't this the way warriors are supposed to speak?

And no one said that they enjoyed killing non-combatants. War is a messy ugly business where, unfortunately some of the innocent people get killed too. Happened in Vietnam, happened in Korea, happened in WWI and WWII, happened in the War of the Roses, happened in the Pelopenesian War, happened when Ug dropped rocks on Bog's village from the cliffs. That is what happens though we like to think it shouldn't.

And then they go and only quote part of the quote:

A certain desensitization about the value of human life may be necessary to cope in the stress of performing a job that requires killing, a cold mentality that must be kept on the battlefield.

There is something repulsive about a U.S. general gleefully justifying the slaughter of others because "they ain't got no manhood left anyway."

"A certain desensitization"? I would like to think there is a complete "desensitization." I really don't want our boys and girls in uniform worrying about the humanity of folks who are shooting guns at them. Mow them down like dandelions and get the job done and come home.

And this guy wasn't advocating killing everyone in sight. Here is the full quote:

"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil," Mattis said. "You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them."

Now, is there anyone anywhere who seriously thinks it isn't ok to kill as many Taliban bastards as you have bullets for? These are some of the most despicable people on earth (and don't give me the "we can't kill everyone who is despicable so we shouldn't kill any of them" speech. We will kill as many despicable people as we can, but there are only so many hours in the day) and I am sure the SF Chron was in the forefront of condeming them for the goat herding zealots that they were. How was the world supposed to get rid of them? Big groups hugs until they changed their ways?

I got no problem with the good General. I just hope we have a lot more like him working towards the same goal.

UPDATE: Varifrank does a much better job of putting this whole kerfuffle into perspective. Check him out.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:23

It's My Birfday!

Congrats to Me!



I may not be the best... But I.. No wait, I guess I can't see them from here.

Anyway, three down one million to go (I like to think long term)!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:07

This Month's Cool Software


I, like most lower levels of animal, am fascinated by twinkling lights ("ooh, look, shiny!") and moving things (see: fish, birds, dogs, monkeys). I am therefore most impressed whenever I run across a piece of software that does nothing more than paint pretty pictures on my screen. I think that was one reason I have been such a SETI supporter for all these years. Not only do I get to talk to ET, I get to watch pretty graphs being created while I am looking.

This month I downloaded Freefall from XtremeMac. My .mac membership allowed me to download it, try it with some things disabled, and then buy and add more cool options. After playing with it for a couple of minutes, I knew that this thing was for me!

It has the globe and satellites and pretty moving pictures! What more could any hairless ape want? You can pick which satellites to view, whether you want to view them in real time or speeded up (so you can see where they will be in 20 years I guess), info on all the satellites, you can add cities and political noundaries (to see who and what the military satellites are flying over next!) and a variety of other cool things.

It even comes with a screen saver so you can follow the track of Fengyun 1D as it "digitally photograph clouds, rivers and, lakes and forewarn floods and sand storms". Or any of the GPS or Iridium sats flying over our heads.

If your life is as boring as mine, mindlessly watching liitle dots circle a faux earth all day may be just the thing to drag you back into the real world.

****
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:00

Infantile Obsession... Sort Of

I can't really post a pic, but if you want to see a totally not safe for work Korean Lady Golfer and her belly button (among other things):

Go here

Remeber, I warned ya!

Look! She even has a tatto!

Thanks, Marmot!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:49

Blah

It is so hard to get motivated to do anything when you are on your last two weeks at a place. I am trying but the motivation factor is real small. I can't even find the enregy to blog about stupidity!

Anyone know of a good zoom lens for the Nikon D70 that I soon plan to buy? I am guessing that I will get the 18-70mm with the camera but I need something in a 70-210 or 70-300 range to complement it.

And a flash but I might wait for that.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:28

No Duh

Turns out I was right:

Forget counting sheep, next time you are having trouble dropping off to sleep try putting on a jazz CD.

That shit puts me to sleep. All them folks on stage all playing different songs at the same time.

And not a bagpipe in evidence!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:16

♫ Give Me a Break, Give Me a Break ♫

♫ Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar! ♫

Oh, those wacky Japanese!

Students in Japan have reportedly caused sales of Kit Kat bars to soar, by adopting them as lucky charms.

The name of the chocolate bar resembles a Japanese expression - "kitto katsu" - used by students to wish each other luck before exams.

The phrase has been translated roughly as: "I hope you will win."

Of course, nothing the Japanese ever touch remains purely original:

Kit Kat has introduced a range of flavours designed for the famously sweet-toothed Japanese market, including green tea flavour.

Other variations include passion fruit, white chocolate, and lemon cheesecake.

Yum, yakitori flavored Kit Kat!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:08

Two Weeks Notice

Just put in my two weeks notice for this place so I can move on to another place. The other place is 3.5 miles from my house and not 35 miles which is the main reason I am taking it (plus the raise, plus the people I will be working with).

Whatever will I do with my extra 2 hours a day that I now waste in commute time?
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:30