Corsair the Rational Pirate

Can We Change the Spelling of Kimchi to Munchi?

If this wasn't coming out of the official mouthpiece of the NoKo government, I would think the it was a US imperialist plot to weaken the moral fiber and revolutionary spirit of the great and glorious, unconquerable Korean people!

"Let's cover the whole country with hemp fields through a mass movement!"
This was the title of an editorial that appeared on the front page of the Aug. 25 edition of the Rodong Sinmun. The editorial said, "Those who strive and strive again to accomplish the nation's hemp farming plans are patriots of the Songun ("military-first" politics) Era. We must cover the whole country with hemp fields by having each person plant 10 roots, 100 roots."

Seems like the NoKos are looking for ways to spark up and get toasty, dude! I hear that smoking a doob makes you forget about eating. They will probably give this to the peasants and start a "Let's Eat One Meal A Day!" revolutionary program... They can spend the rest of the day smoking blunt.

Considering how the Rodong editorial from Aug. 25 said the "hemp cultivation plan" had been placed alongside the "revolutionary potato cultivation plan" and "revolutionary two-crop farming plan," which are pillars of current agricultural policy, it would seem clear that this hemp-planting campaign is not simply a one-time affair.

It even called on the party organization to take direct responsibility for the hemp cultivation plan, along with the potato and two-crop farming plans, and drive it forward until the end.

You know, the "revolutionary potato cultivation plan". The one that ABC news has been covering... Oh right, they probably didn't have enough time to report on it, what with all the coverage of the "revolutionary two-crop farming plan" they are currently doing.

North Korea explained that hemp is a crop of which nothing is thrown away. Oil from the seeds could be used for cooking or to make soap, hemp dregs to feed livestock, fibers to weave cloth or awnings, or to manufacture mosquito nets, rope or sandbags. The stem is also used as an ingredient in paper.

Meanwhile, in South Korea, laws on hemp cultivation are strict as the plant could be used in the manufacture of marijuana.

Damned reactionary lapdogs to the Imperialist Americans in the South! They should know that hemp was originally cultivated in Korea in 936 BC by DongSongBongGun and distributed to his troops who threw back the 235th Japanese invasion of the penninsula. Until the Koreans were slaughtered when the Japanese returned disguised as a Domino's Pizza Dude. The Koreans couldn't fight back due to an inordinate amount of time spent looking for change in the sofa cushion so they could get them some pepperoni and double cheese!

Since then hemp cultivation has been less than adequate for Korean needs. Now NoKo plans to do something about it! All hail Kim Jong ILL'ing!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:29

This Guy Has More Energy Than Me

I watched some of the Olympics last week (not much else to do in Kitty Hawk at night) and noticed plenty of god-thanking... Oddly, mostly it was the winners and not the losers. I always have thought that thanking god for picking you over some other schlub as the winner of a sporting event was kinda shallow. Can't he be solving that whole Middle East thing rather than worrying about who wins the Equestrian event in the Olympics?

This guy has a lot more energy than I do and was able to collect a lot of the quotes from the athletic god-botherers:

The Good Lord may appear ambivalent at best when it comes to resolving bloody conflicts around the globe, but His role in abetting the winners of sporting contests continues to expand at an impressive rate, with a slew of athletes thanking Him for their success in the 2004 Games. The nature of these expressions of gratitude for His influence in the medal tallies runs the gamut from token shout-outs from sprinters and distance runners to mindless yammering from pugilists and wrestling aficionados:

RTWT!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:37

No Way?!?

Sometimes my ignorance astounds even me! I was looking through the Intraweb today for the number of stadiums that South Korea had to build to host the World Cup awhile back. And what to my wondering eyes does appear but this cogent, well thought out argument for the existence of a grand conspiracy in stadium building?!?

By 2006, some twenty more World Cup stadiums are planned for Europe and Africa. Who is providing the funding? Are these colossal new stadiums, in reality, designed to operate as advanced over-the-horizon ELF (electromagnetic low frequency) wave transmitters, linking space platforms, satellites overhead, U.S. Naval vessels at sea, and HAARP systems in Alaska with CIA and NSA "Echelon" computer centers in the U.S.A., Great Britain, Greenland, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and Russia?

Oooh! Oooh! I think I can answer this one! Uh, how about... NO! What an idiot! Does this guy have nothing better to do than come up with this shit?

Hmm, looking at the pic, I don't think so.

So what other fun can be had at this site? First off we learn that they are end of the world nutters who seem to have it in for the Jews. I thought evangelical types like the Jews since they were recreating Jeruselem or something and that this was needed for Jeebus to return. Shit, I can't keep my crackpots straight.

They also seem to have soft spot (other than the one on their heads) for Rachel Corrie, who we all know is the anti-American, Jew hating, rabble rouse what got squished by a bulldozer.

They also have other wacky beliefs:

We believe that God is infinitely more powerful than the devil (Satan, or Lucifer), whom God has already defeated. We believe that, as Christians, we are commanded to expose evildoers and their works, that we must courageously stand up for truth and justice, that we must confront and defeat corruption wherever we find it, and that we have the right and the obligation to stand fast against wickedness in high places, whether on Earth or in the heavens.

We believe in the power of Bible prophecy, freely acknowledging that God has preordained the future from the beginning and that He holds the future in His hand.

So if god already defeated satan (or lucifer, this guys isn't quite sure) then why all the conspiracy shit? Seems like the devil is down on his luck after getting his ass handed to him by gawd. And anyway, the story of humanity has already been written by god so why bother doing anything? If god is such the loving master that groups like this claim, he wouldn't have set all of this up for a fall, would he? And if he did, he already "preordained" it so nothing you or I or this loonbag does can change it.

I suppose that it is good that guys like this have a purpose in life and are not out running in the streets creating mayhem and scaring the horses. I just wish that people weren't so stupid as to support shit like this.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:18

Looking Over My Shoulder

Lileks has obviously been watching me when I work around the house:

You buy a plumber's snake, because you're pretty sure you don't have one already. (Note: you do.) You put the snake down the pipes and turn the handle, thinking I bet the Roto-Rooter guys have motorized ones. With cool flame decals on the side. Not only does this fail to clear the obstruction, but to your horror the snake is now stuck in the pipes. You will have to sell the house and move. The Roto-Rooter man will die laughing when he shows up - not because it's so amusing, but because every other job today had the same thing! People actually think those snakes work?

I have had these experiences. I am always sooooooo reluctant to call the plumber/electrician/whatever to fix my mistakes. If I call them first it is not a problem. When I have to call them because I misthreaded the johnson bolt onto the grommit valve (and I don't even know those terms when I have to call and plead stupidity) I feel like a real tool.

I just hope the worker dude doesn't laugh too hard out in his truck when he is done charging me $230 for 5 minutes of cleaning up my mistakes.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:54

On to Beijing?

Mrs. Corsair wants to go to the 2008 Beijing Olympics in 4 years with the kids. Any advice? Anyone ever go there? Any good web sites? Is it too early to start thinking about this?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:53

Back!

Have returned from Nags Head, North Carolina. Nice place. I'll put up some pics later (it is 2:05 am here now). We left early (Friday night) in order to beat the early morning Saturday traffic. The property management people wanted us out by 10 am anyway (an what can you do before 10 am?) so we decided to skip the whole Friday night stay over and leave at 9:30 pm. Four hours and 320 spams (not bad for a week) later, here we are!

Now, of course I am too wired to sleep.

Some observations: All the counter help in Nags Head are Eastern European girls of varying cuteness. Not as many country/western or gospel radio stations in North Carolina as I thought there would be. "People of color" do not visit the Outer Banks in any large numbers. Americans (at least the white, East Coast variety) are an incredibly ugly looking bunch of people. How come when I am driving home at midnight I can get radio stations from Boston, Philadelphia, New York, Cleveland, and Detroit but I can't hear a single thing from DC until I am 20 miles away (I know, reflections in the ionosphere and all, whatever)? Surfing and East Coast are two things that don't really mix. Why so many "surf shops" on hNags head? Do people really need that many "Three-for-a-dollar tee shirts?" Being without internet access for a week sucks, but you can get used to it.

I am sure there are more but the time is starting to weigh heavily on my eyelids.

So, welcome me back. I have had a nice, relaxing time at the beach with nothing but sun and sand and miniature golf and am ready to take on the idiots of the world.

Yeah, sure.

UPDATE: Here is a picture of a lighthouse. We walked up all 214 steps to the top to check out Northern Outer Banks:

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 02:05

Going to the Beach!

The Corsair Clan is packing up the pirate ship and heading to the beach for a week. We spent time once on Hilton Head in South Carolna and so have decided, just to be fair to drop some benjamins on North Carolina in and around Nags Head.

I'll have pics when we get back.

Hasta la next week, baby!

Corsair out.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:34

OK, Religious People, How is This Justice?

Religiods are always bleating about how the country is going downhill and if only we would get back to that good ole religion then maybe the lord will favor us with manna from heaven and we will live in paradise on earth (or something like that since I usually tune out after "going downhill" since that is really far from the truth).

So, OK, let us have the religiods be in charge for awhile and see what happens maybe. You know what will happen? Shit like this:

Terrance had autism. Autism is a medical condition for which there is currently no known cure. But Ray Hemphill knows more than all the physicians in the world - he knows that autism is really caused by something no physician has ever encountered (demons) and is cured by something no physician has ever given credit to (exorcism). Hemphill's particular style of exorcism involved smushing the demons out, apparently. Instead it crushed Terrance's chest until he could no longer breath. His mother and the two other women held the thrashing boy down until Hemphill finished the job.

So now the kid is dead dead dead in the name of religion and the killers either walked free (the stupid women involved) or got a couple of years (the evil stupid exorcist).

Allowing devoutly religious people anywhere near others should be acknowledged as dangerous and there should be laws to protect normal people from them. Like we have laws that take the crazy guys on the street corners away to the rubber rooms. Anyone espousing ideas about demons and devils and satan and angels and shit like that who actually, trully believes that shit is no different from Lamar on the corner smelling like piss and ranting about the IRS. Lock the all up together!

But not in this civilized society where religion is respected as a true intellectual and spiritual pursuit. Here you get crazies as judges who let other crazies roam the streets as soon as someone invokes the name of religion:

When Jean DiMotto was elected Milwaukee County Circuit Judge, she realized that her childhood dream of becoming a priest was being fulfilled. �I view my judgeship as my vocation. My ordination was my investiture. My courtroom is my church. I wear a vestment -- my robe,� she told NCR [National Cahtolic Reporter].

That is the sort of loon who gets to decide questions of life and death. I am sure that if I appear before her as an unbeliever she would spend half the time castigating me for my lack of faith and the other increasing my sentence to keep me off the streets (you know, to prtect the children... Just like the excorcist was trying to do when he killed that little boy)!

Arrrrrgh!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:53

Best. Paragraph. Ever.

Lileks is the best, but some days he outshines even himself. I don't pretend to be a writer (I am more of an annoying jerk) but if I could write I would want to be able to do things like this:

No magazine really reflects the world as I see it. They either magnify an interesting portion beyond its importance, or float off into irrelevance. Which is why I prefer the internet. Every day, a thousand pages. We make it. It�s our magazine. It�s the true pop culture, and the only question is how long it will take before the democratization of information makes the old celebrity paradigm irrelevant.

In the future, everyone will be hyperlinked for fifteen minutes. And that�s a good thing.

See! I can't even get the number of paragraphs correct in my post. Reading Lileks makes me wonder sometimes "Why do I even bother"?

(What the hell is the rule when you are using question marks and quotes? Does the question mark go inside the quote? Outside? What if the quote is a question but I am using it like a statment?! Help me! I am stupid!)

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:44

Well, Who Needs the Olympics?!

When the World Cup of Tango is on?!?!

Korean dancers Chang Goo Han and Kyunga Han (R) dance tango during the semifinals of the second edition of the World cup of tango at Buenos Aires theater Presidente Alvear, August 18, 2004. Dancers from Argentina, Japan, Colombia, Chile, Korea, Uruguay, Portugal, Mexico, Italy, Germany and Spain are participating in the competition.

And better representatives of the Korean peoples you will not find, I am guessing. (Told you they all went blonde!)

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:30

Live What?

Julia Child's Lessons in Living
She combined a Puritan work ethic with a love of live.

Lobsters? Mussels? Monkeys?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:25

I am Sorry and All...

I mean these people just lost everything to a nasty hurricane, but do we really need to hear suchlike:

PUNTA GORDA, Fla. Aug. 17, 2004 � No phone. No running water. No ice to fight the heat. No diapers for the baby and no gas to fill the tank. For thousands who've lost their homes and creature comforts to Hurricane Charley, this is reality.
"The hard part is not being able to bathe and not having food and water unless I go out and look for it," said Tami Wilson, 48, while waiting in line at a "comfort station" for ice and water while her blind husband, Dewaine, waited alone at home.

Unless you go out and look for it? What exactly do you do during a normal week? You go out and look for food! You just went through one of the worst huricanes to hit your state in years ($11 billion worth of damage) and you expect things to work immediatly afterword?

Then there is this obviously deranged woman who is having logic and grammar issues:

"After you live through it, you can't imagine how desperate you get," said Barbara Winslow, who was waiting in line for diapers, food, water and ice at National Guard comfort station. "You don't have anything. If the end of the world came tomorrow, this is what it would look like."

After I live though it, I suppose I can imagine how desperate I would be. Before I live through it I am sure I would have issues. And if the end of the world ended tomorrow, I am sure no one would be around to see what anything would look like. Someone, get this woman a cold compress and a place to lie down!

Ahh, but never underestimate the power of stupidity and venal self indulgence to win the day!

The owners of a convenience store in Port Charlotte opened without power, despite damage to the building. Owner Imran Siddiqi was using his cell phone calculator to tally purchases for a steady stream of customers.

Jeff Fields, 42, of Port Charlotte, was smiling as he picked up a six-pack of beer and four packs of cigarettes.

"It helps with the cleanup," he said.

The guy needed cigs and beer. Not diapers and water. So I don't feel sorry for that tool at all.

For everyone else in Florida, quit complaining. I am sure everyone is doing everything they can to put your sorry state back together. Too bad this hadn't happened before the day before the election, then we wouldn't have to go through this time what we went through last time.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:55

Arrrrrrrgh!

Blood boiling time!!! I can't believe people can be this so incredibly and horrifically mind-blowingly stupid!

(AP) A British film crew says it has found the last American defector still living in North Korea � a U.S. Army private who crossed over to the Stalinist state in 1962 and says he is glad he did.

Pvt. James Dresnok lives in the capital Pyongyang, where he says he likes his "simple life," said filmmaker Nicholas Bonner, who met him there in May and plans to make a documentary about him.

"To us he's the most fascinating character because he's still there," Bonner said Sunday.

The U.S. military has said that Dresnok, from Norfolk, Virginia, left the army in August 1962 at age 21.

"Simple life" for a simpleton! He is glad he gave up membership in the greatest country in the history of the world to live in a communist hellhole where your very thoughts can get you sent to prison or killed. Yeah, there is a trade that I would make.

And here is where the guy needs to be taken out and shot:

"We were under the supervision of the North Korean military," Dresnok told the filmmakers according to their news release. "They took good care of us and they requested us to teach English to military personnel."

So now not only have you traded in membership in the free world to join the forces of evil, you are actively helping their military (which, in 1962 wasn't all that many years removed from a hot shooting war where more than 50,000 US service members were killed) learn the skills they need in order to spy on or kill more of your past fellow soldiers. Arrrrrgh.

"I did not want to stay in DPRK at first," Dresnok told the film crew, referring to North Korea by the initials of its formal name. "I wanted to go to Russia," he said.

"Having crossed, after a few months, I began thinking it over and decided to remain," he is quoted as saying.

"I'm glad I did, because about 10 years ago, Russia changed from socialism to capitalism. If I was in Russia right now, I would be out of work," he said. "It would be the same if I returned to America. I find it more convenient to live among peaceful people, living a simple life."

He is glad he is living in a repressive hell-hole because he has a job... Talk about the banality of evil. This asshat could have had a job in the US if had wanted to get off his lazy ass and make something of himself. Instead, he wants someone to give him something and guarantee it for the rest of his sorry-ass life. What a pathetic waste. If he had returned to the US he could have gotten a job and would be retiring now instead of living on 500 calories a day and watching his fellow "countrymen" starve to death and be treated as the world's leper colony.

He said that while the U.S. military had taught its soldiers that North Koreans were "evil communists," he never believed that depiction. "They are human here," he said. "Of course, there is an ideological difference, but that is the only difference."

Oh, well that makes it all ok then! They just have a little "ideological difference". The same ideological difference that killed millions of Koreans during the Korean war, tens of millions in Russia and many more millions in China. Otherwise they are just the same as us! Why, we like to inform on our neighbors when they are having un-revolutionary thoughts! And we like to have out lives laid out for us from work to family! And we like to work for the good of the state and its leader, who is like a father to us. And... Wait a goddamn minute! We don't like any of those things and this guy is an idiot.

I hope he gets a horrible disease that his workers paradise it unable to cure and that he dies a long, lingering, painful death.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:04

Bellybutton Twofer!

It aint KFG (Korean Female Golfers) but variety is the spice of life.

I give you IFV (Italian Female Volleyballers)!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:46

Interesting Juxtaposition

Lots of Korean grimacing these days. Positively and negatively.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:36

Can't Get Out Fast Enough

Forget Iraq, how's about we have an exit strategy for getting out of the ROK as soon as we can pack up the planes:

Protesters tear apart a large U.S. flag near the U.S. embassy in Seoul Aug. 15, 2004. 15, 2004, during a rally marking 59 years of independence from Japan's colonization. About 10,000 protesters rallied on Sunday as they demanded U.S. withdraw its troops from South Korea (news - web sites), that South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun cancel planned troop dispatch to Iraq (news - web sites) and for Roh to resign. Photo by Lee Jae-Won/Reuters

And if you look real close you can see the protestors wearing those dorky fishing hats that they have all been sporting recently.

I guess they don't get the irony here in that the only reason they got their independence from Japan, they being such wimpified pussies that they couldn't win it themselves, was that the US kicked the shit of the Japanese and forced them out. If we had allowed the Great East Asia Coprsperity Sphere to continue, all these jackasses would be called Hitomi, wearing Kimonoes, and sipping Pocari Sweat (oops, they already do that).

Disgrateful bastards.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:12

I Always Wanted to Be a Chef

I ended up as a pirate.

Some people do the thing that they were meant to do...

Bon App�tit, Julia!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:14

I'm Not an Economist...

But neither are the SF Chronicle's editorial page writers. The make a bunch of assertions here but don't really say what should be happening.

Let us take a look:

PRESIDENT BUSH has been repeating his mantra about a sound economy for months now, despite numbers that reveal a more alarming truth. Last week's employment report showed that only 32,000 jobs were created in July, stunningly short of forecasts that predicted more than 200,000 new jobs.

But what is the unemployment rate? It is hanging at 5.5 percent. Not bad! That means that 94.5 percent of workers are working. I would bet on those odds.

And anyway, what the hell does the President have to do with hiring people? Has anyone around here ever heard of the business cycle? Businesses do all the hiring and firing. Blame them when people are out of work!

Bush's unyielding reliance on tax cuts have so far failed to be the magic potion for a long-term robust economy. The country is facing a record $445 billion national budget deficit and the 10-year outlook has gone from predictions of a $5 trillion surplus to a $2.7 trillion deficit. Added up, the economic indicators are all wrong for a president running on a platform of heightened prosperity.

I never get this part. Liberals always complain about the tax cuts. What is a tax? It is the government taking money away from people who have earned it and doing what the government wants to with it. Some of these things are good (common defense) some of them are silly (opening racing museums in South Carolina). Fine. A tax cut is where the government takes less money away from people leaving them to do what they want with it. How is the government taking less money from someone not not a good thing? Does the Chron think that the gubmint should take more money from people since that is a better way to stimulate the economy? How, exactly does government taxing and spending move the economy one way or another?

And secondly, I seem to remember that the 1980s and early 1990s were filled with gloom and doom 10-year projections of deficit and economic destruction of this country. The the later 90s happened and it was 10 years of puppies, blue skies, and happiness! Now the 00s are here and it is 10 years of gloom and doom again. I am starting to get the feeling that these 10-year projections don't really mean much.

Now they bring the Fed in:

With a skittish stock market, oil prices at a record high and job creation stalled, talk of an economic turnaround seems fanciful. The Federal Reserve bumped up a key interest rate by a quarter-point this week, declaring that the economy "appears poised to resume a stronger pace of expansion.'' Such predictions, however, have so far fallen flat and Bush faces the prospect of being the first president since Herbert Hoover to preside over a net decline in the number of jobs as he runs for re-election.

The Fed is an independent organization in the government whose main task at this point in history is to keep inflation low. They do that by raising and lowering the interest rate and playing around with the money supply. What more would the Chron have the Fed do with the interest rate? It has been at 1.0 percent for awhile now. They recently bumped it to 1.25 percent. Not much else it can do at those levels.

So what should he do, in their inestimable wisdom? They don't say, of course. Not much different that jumping up and down screaming "I don't like it!" but not offering any advice to fix it.

I can get away with that, I a blogging idiot. They are supposed to do better (they get paid, after all).

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:08

Money Quote

You gotta love the quote on the end of this story:

Soldiers said the insurgents showed signs that they had been training during a cease-fire that had kept violence here to a minimum since early June. U.S. units accustomed to the disorganized, hit-and-run strikes of insurgents in Baghdad and elsewhere were impressed to see the black-clad fighters of the Mahdi Army moving in coordinated units of five: typically three armed with rifles, which they fired to provide cover for the launch of rocket-propelled grenades, the weapon that has been most damaging to U.S. forces in Iraq.

Additional evidence of training: flash suppressors on rifles, simple Starlight-brand night-vision scopes and the evacuation of wounded. Weapons were secreted throughout the cemetery.

"These people are a trained militia," said 1st Lt. Ronald C. Krepps of the 1st Cavalry, who added that one mausoleum contained photos of Mahdi fighters performing battle drills.

"More professional," said Miyamasu, the 5th Regiment battalion commander whose troops provided Najaf reinforcement. "I don't mean to give them too much, but they're good. These guys really make us work to kill them, but in the end, they're dead."

Just roll them sideways into the already prepared holes in the goround of this silly cemetary and move on to the next soon-to-be dead guy.

I have to wonder, though. What is it that they hope to accomplish (other than making us use up all our ammunition on them)? They going to take over? Be the next Saddam? They want their own country? All these guys are stupid as bags of rocks, how they going to run a laundromat, let alone a city or country?

Sometimes people just seem more alien than what aliens would be like.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:15

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

I had a thoroughly awful day at "work" today. Actually it was more like an awful day at "travel" since I really wasn't getting any work done.

I work in Virginia just over the Potomac from DC. We also have an office in something called Elkridge, Maryland, about 45 minutes north of DC. So I had to go up there first thing this morning for some meetings. I could have driven my car (which is what I did yesterday) or taken the MARC train. The MARC is the Maryland communter trains which brings all the Marylanders into Union Station each morning and picks them up each night. So I rode the Metro to Union Station, switch to the MARC and thought I was golden.

Well, the meetings ended up around 12:00 pm and so I decided to head back to the office. Off the to the MARC train station I go only to find that it appeared deserted. The cleaning crew was just leaving and they informed me that they thought there were n more trains until the evening rush hour. I called information and the nice lady with the funny Baltimore accent confirmed their assertions. So now I am stuck in at the station for what seemed like 4 hours.

Soon a Howard County bus appeared and I asked the driver about getting back to DC and was informed that the bus could take me to Baltimore-Washington Airport where I could pick up another bus to the Greenbelt station on the Metro. "Sure" I think, "why not?!" So I hopped on the bus and engaged in riveting conversation about Cuban food, sushi, and fish eggs with the other passengers.

When we got to BWI I noticed that there was a MARC/AMTRAK station there. I hopped off the bus full of my now best friends, and made my way to the counter to be informed that, yes, I could get a MARC train on this line leaving in 30 minutes for DC! Yahoo! After spending $6.50 for a turkey and swiss I waited for the train on the platform.

I entrained 30 minutes later and made my way do to Union Station to get on the Red Line on the Metro, changed trains to the Yellow line at Metro Center and was soon whisked back to Vienna... Where I had to wait a further 40 minutes for the Metro bus to take me back to the Park 'n Ride lot where I had deposited my car this morning at the beginning of this travel disaster.

Needless to say, I was exhausted when I finally arrived home only to remember that I had promised to change my volunteer fireman night to Tuesdays to fill in for someone for awhile.

So that is where I am now. It is 20:38, we ate our pathetic dinners, made a commercial for the station (when it goes online I will let both of you know), and we have yet to go out and do any training (which the Sgt keeps threatening to do). I think I just want to go to bed.

I think must get the award for the most links in any post I have ever... posted.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 20:26

No Clue

I get email whenever someone leaves an intelligent, relevant comment in the comments-thingy. Unfortunately, it doesn't tell me which post the email is referring to. Usually I can guess as evidenced by this one:

You have a new feedback to your blog: Corsair the Rational Pirate
bogdog wrote:
Just think what a few short years on the pro tour will do to that fair, succulent, radiant white skin. She'll be looking like my eel-skin wallet in no time. Perish the thought.

Click here to see the feedback.

I could guess from this that it was related to the SLG post below.

Sometimes, however I really have to rack my (some will say "shit-for-") brains when I get smething like this:

You have a new feedback to your blog: Corsair the Rational Pirate
Fuck wrote:
Wow, you copied Maddox, except you suck, nice one shitcock. What are you going to do? Make fun of my spelling? Stupid cunt

Click here to see the feedback.

The click here thingy takes me back to these comments:

Robert Hawk (http://none) @ 05/01/2003 08:42:

Shouldn't that be ROKettes?

Feedback-to-Feedback

rando () @ 05/02/2003 23:38:

http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Parliament/8058/

Feedback-to-Feedback

Fuck (http://anus) @ 08/07/2004 22:38:

Wow, you copied Maddox, except you suck, nice one shitcock. What are you going to do? Make fun of my spelling? Stupid cunt

Feedback-to-Feedback

I then search on ROK to find out that potty mouth was referring to this post:

What's he talking about?

When I check the time I guess that this 14-year old was using daddy's computer after consuming just a little too much of mommy's cooking sherry whilst they were away at a show or something. He gets on the Intraweb, gets a little lost while trying to find 733t hax0r sites where they have the coolest shit, you know? And ends up in my little corner. Not know where he is or what all the words on the screen actually mean he lashes out in his inimitable fashion and makes himself look like a complete tool.

Welcome to the World Wide Web, moron. When you learn a few things (and get over you being grounded for two weeks because of the cooking sherry thing), come on back and make an intelligent contribution.

Putz.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:26

Speaking of Which...

Since there aren't any new KLG belly buttons available, let us see what else there is!

OK, let's see what Sweden's Carin Koch looks like without the grimace:

Wowza!

Maybe I need to start a SLG (Swedish Lady Golfers) belly button section!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:48

Japanese Hula Girl!

She can mow my grass skirt anytime!

Head on over to sushicam to see more cool pics!

BONUS! I see a big ole bellybutton! Not a KLG (Korean Lady Golfer) belly button but nice nevertheless.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:32

What Does That Mean, Exactly?

I was reading a story on CNN about a guy who killed himeself. They used the following phrase:

Veldhouse then walked back to the cemetery where he took his life, police said.

He "took his life"? He took it where? In what? A bucket? I can see using that phrase if maybe I kill you. In that case I took something from you that you can't get back.

But, much like I can't steal or take my own stereo, I do not think it makes sense to say "he took his life".

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:02

Oh, Yeah... Lots of Courage There...

Some poor Philipino bastard gets himself captured by the bad guys in Irag. The bad guys threated to cut off his head if the Flip government doesn't pull its pitiful few troops out. The Flips cave immediately citing the need to save this poor sap's life as well as the lives of the other ex-pats in Iraq. Mr. Hostage gets to go home, the Philipinos tell the rest of the workers to get out and everyone is happy except everyone left in Iraq 'cause now it looks like taking hostages can get you what you want (which is chaos and an un-rebuilt Iraq).

But don't worry, the Flips ain't backing down:

"It won't take more than three lines to summarise my case, and let me say them," said Ms Arroyo.

"One, I take responsibility. Two, I make no apologies. Three, I stuck to my oath [to save Mr de la Cruz]," she said.

Oooh. Big words there from the Prez.

Why cave so quickly?

"Unlike the US, Australia, Bulgaria and other countries, 1.5 million Filipinos live and work in the Middle East, and 4,000 are working in Iraq today," Ms Arroyo said.

Yeah, except for the 150,000 US citizens in Iraq right this moment.

But then talk about biting the hand that feeds you:

But Ms Arroyo said the Manila-Washington relationship was robust enough to withstand the row over the hostage.

"No president can break that bond," she said. "Our partnership for a better world is stronger than ever. Despite the domestic problems that it sometimes causes, the military alliance with the United States is a strategic asset for the Philippines."

Yeah, it is a strategic asset for you... I am not sure what we are getting out of it at the moment. I know that we have been supporting your war on terror with training, weapons, people, and money yet now that we ask a thing from you we get bubkis! Maybe it is time to rethink this "strategic alliance"?

But not to worry! There is at least one evil group that the Flips are willing to stand up to:

Villagers were preparing a feast which included three roast pigs, tilapia fish and Mr de la Cruz's favourite dish - beef stew and deep fried pork.

But Fely Reyes, Mr de la Cruz's cousin, said she was prepared to eat very frugally in the future if it helped Ms Arroyo stand up to the US.

"Now we need to repay her," she said.

"If the Americans are mad at her because she pulled out the troops, we are likewise mad at the Americans. If the Philippines is punished (by America), we are ready to survive on dried fish and vegetables from our farms to prove that Filipinos can stand on their own and are courageous."

Bwahahaha! You talk all big at the one country in the world that has helped you the most and yet you cave immediately when a couple of smelly terrorists threaten one of your citizens. Let me see here, what is that Cheney phrase... Ahh, yes. Fuck off! What do we get from the Philippines but trouble these days? We have people there risking their lives for you ungrateful bastards. Maybe it is time for y'all to eat your dried fish and veggies and quit looking for Uncle Sam to stave off your own Islamonazis.

You and the most of South Korea and get in bed together and defend yourselves.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 18:58

Man from C.O.R.S.A.I.R.

So I am starting this new job this week. After a bit of a bumpy beginning, things seem to to be on track now. One of the oddest things about this job is the location. First, you have to know that the job entails working in classified areas. You have to have a pretty high security clearance to get in. Normally when I work in a place like that it is on a military base or set off by itself with guards and dogs and fences.

This time, however it's in a shopping mall. I feel sort of like I am entering Del Floria's tailor shop (obscure Man From U.N.C.L.E. reference) when I go to work now. I park under the mall, take an elevator to the shop level, wander down to some other elevators set off to the side near a teddy bear store, get in and shoot up many floors before arriving at the lobby of SMERSH. Muwahahaha! Our plan, of course is to take over the world!!!

But now that I think about it, what would I do with the world were I to take it over?!

Maybe I'll find another job.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:55

First Day!

On the new job. If I survive I will let you know.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 06:39

Hook, Line, and Idiot

OK, first, sending me the following email isn't going to do it:

I am hardly your target demographic. And anyway, what is with the cryptic letters down in the bottom corner? And the wierd way you added "y2000" in the text? Are ya stupid or just sloppy?

But then following it immediately with the following is even more a waste of time:

Again with the cryptic letters but this time we have "l2000".. WTF?

So of course I clicked the link and filled in the following

The fact that the link led to testhost.yahoogoogle.biz was in no way suspicous, of course. Sometimes I outraged that people would pull this kind of shit and expect to get away with it. Other times I am outraged at the idiots who would fall for it.

I spend a lot of time outraged, it seems.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:34