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Wake Up Time

In the past poets and others would awaken in the morning and extol the virtues of living cheek by jowl with nature; the sound of the wind in the trees, the birds in the air, the various critters and creatures traipsing through the underbrush and water burbling down streams on their way to crystal lakes. All of this told men that they were a part of nature.

I wake up in the morning on the weekends and am soon greeted by lawn mowers and leaf blowers. Not to mention airplane overflights and ZSUVs rumbling by. Such is the price of civilization I suppose.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:03

Dumb-Ass, Know Nothing Teens

A group of knowitall teens from America meets up with kids from Iraq and get a lesson in reality:

This year, though, for the first time, they included five students from Iraq. Not surprisingly, some of the most interesting lessons were happening outside the seminars.


"These guys walk up to me and they say, 'Do you hate us?' " said Zahra'a Khalil Muhssin, 16, a dark-eyed girl from Baghdad with red-framed glasses. "They think we hate them."


Ghazwan Majid, a tall, mustachioed 17-year-old from Baghdad, affected a convincing American surfer's drawl to imitate the question he kept getting: "Heyyy, what's goin' on there in Iraq?"


"When they watch the media, they think it's only bombs," said Diana Rudha, 16. "They are surprised when I tell them there's progress."

Progress? We know there is no progress because the news and the Democrats and moveon.org and Michael Moore told us that there is no progress. Iraqis lived in a paradise until the imperialist Halliburtons showed up to rape the women and steal the oil... Isn't the right?

Just over a year ago, the teenagers spent a month of sleepless nights as missile shells exploded near their homes during the war in Iraq. Since then, they have endured fears of bombings and kidnappings and the other signs of an unstable nation. Most have lost friends or relatives to the violence -- including a government official who had helped coordinate their trip.

Yet they are also enjoying the vigorous debate newly allowed in classrooms that no longer have Saddam Hussein's visage staring down from the walls or up from the pages of every textbook. And this week -- thanks to a donation from Halliburton, the controversial contractor involved in the rebuilding of Iraq -- they were able to enjoy the American traditions of overachieving teens: late-night rap sessions and question-and-answer panels, talent shows and group cheers.

Gee, you mean Halliburton made this all possible? Must be some kind of trick. And anyway the US imperialists must want to brainwash them into becoming little McDonalds consumers.. That is why they took down the Saddam pics.. or something.

Not to mention all the hugging. In the lobby of the student center at George Washington University one night, an ambassador in a cowgirl hat suddenly screamed "Ghazwan!" and just threw her arms around Majid, who gamely reciprocated before she skipped away.


"I've learned so much about the life of the teenagers in America!" Muhssin marveled a few minutes later. In Iraq, explained Ahmed Alrawi, 17, "you cannot hug a girl."

And that, ladies and gentlemen is the definition of repression. Girls are made to be hugged and anyone who says otherwise is a tool. (Boys, I suppose are made to be hugged too, but it is a hell of a lot nicer hugging girls... when you are a boy, of course).

And, in fact, American students said they found their Iraqi counterparts to be a highlight of the week.

"It's so cool," declared Carrie Shoultz, 16, of Eagan, Minn., as she lingered around the Iraqis' dinner table. "I oppose the war, but I thought it would be good to get it from the horse's mouth."

And what had she found? Majid asked wryly.

"That [the Iraqis] were pretty split," Shoultz said. "I thought they didn't like us [Americans] -- I wanted to hear that they didn't like us. But then you got Ali here . . . who supports Bush!"

What must is be like to be so young, so full of promise and open futures, and be so wrong? I suppose she will need to grow up at some point and see that the world is not like it is presented on the democraticunderground or other head-in-the-sand sites that she most likely visits on the intraweb. And what kinda shit is this: "I wanted to hear that they didn't like us"!??! WTF? You are so down on America with your Hate America First crowd that you naturally thought the rest of the world agrees with you. And when you get someone who has been freed from unimaginable evil show support for the one man in the world willing to make the call to take out the bad guy you can't believe it! Why would anyone support Bush? You know Bush Lied People Died and No Blood For Oil!

What? There are Iraqis that actually like him? That is not what Michael Moore said!

Hopefully something like this will open this little suburban girls eyes, she will go back and tell a few of her belly-showing friends and maybe someone will start to think and not just parrot whatever the latest bumper sticker slogan is.

Or am I too optimistic?
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:17

Corsair Reload

Time for another blast from the past! The folks over at jengajam.com have updated their site so it is time to revist Crazy Asian Drinks!



Swing on by but make sure your keyboard is not within projectile distance from your mouth or you will be purchasing a new one (keyboard, I mean, not mouth).
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:04

Oh Yes It Does!

Tom Shales in the WaPo today doesn't find anything wrong with Kerry's speech last night (despite protestations to the contray on most blogs I have seen [see: Instapundit]). Wat he does find wrong, however is the characterization of Kerry's superstition.

First, what is superstition?

superstition

\Su`per*sti"tion\, n. [F. superstition, L. superstitio, originally, a standing still over or by a thing; hence, amazement, wonder, dread, especially of the divine or supernatural, fr. superstare to stand over; super over + stare to stand. See Super-, and Stand.] 1. An excessive reverence for, or fear of, that which is unknown or mysterious.

2. An ignorant or irrational worship of the Supreme Deity; excessive exactness or rigor in religious opinions or practice; extreme and unnecessary scruples in the observance of religious rites not commanded, or of points of minor importance; also, a rite or practice proceeding from excess of sculptures in religion.

And the truth With superstitions and traditions taint. --Milton.

3. The worship of a false god or gods; false religion; religious veneration for objects.

[The accusers] had certain questions against him of their own superstition. --Acts xxv. 19.

4. Belief in the direct agency of superior powers in certain extraordinary or singular events, or in magic, omens, prognostics, or the like.

5. Excessive nicety; scrupulous exactness.

Syn: Fanaticism.

The let us see what Shales is all atwitter over:

Then came reporter Byron Pitts, whose tendency for melodrama was unleashed full-tilt. Pitts told us Kerry was a "very superstitious man" partly because he made the sign of the Cross before emerging from the wings to make speeches. That does not make him very superstitious.

Hmmm, seems to me that he fails on number 2: "extreme and unnecessary scruples in the observance of religious rites not commanded, or of points of minor importance; also, a rite or practice proceeding from excess of sculptures in religion." There was no need to cross himself just then and anyway, where in the bible does it say that one must touch different parts of one's body when asking god for something? Doing such things before a big event seems to fall under number 4: "Belief in the direct agency of superior powers in certain extraordinary or singular events, or in magic, omens, prognostics, or the like." So I guess we could conclude that crossing oneself is in fact "superstitious". Despite what Shales seems to be huffing about.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:47

Foreign Language

Was at the Jefferson Memorial sitting on the steps a couple of days ago. Place is a magnet for school groups from around the country (most of whom couldn't give a fig who Jefferson was). There was one particular group sitting in front of me from Kentucky (based on their shirts). One slightly bewildered fellow arrives all by himself and engages in the following converstion:

Dude #1: Were ya bin?

Dude #2: I got all lawst down there!

Dude #1: Lawst? How'd ya git lawst?

Dude #2: The elevator was in some foreen language! The buttins said "Portrico" and "Mezzanine"! I din't know were to git off!

I can state for the record that the elevator did, in fact include buttons labled "Portico" and "Mezzanine". Ah, the youth of today!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 20:27

Yeah, Takes One to Know One!

North Korea is crying crocodile tears over the loss of 420 of its slaves today. It seems that they are accusing the South of "kidnapping":

SEOUL : Pyongyang accused Seoul of kidnapping more than 450 North Koreans and said South Korea would pay dearly for the biggest mass defection from the Stalinist state since the Korean War.

Accusing South Korea of "luring and abducting those northerners like alley cats," a powerful North Korean state body said the action would plunge inter-Korean relations to the point of "acute confrontation".

Shaa! Pot calling kettle black comes to mind. I guess since North Korea sees nothing wrong with kidnapping citizens of other countries and dragging them into North Korea, they don't have a problem with imagining some other country doing it. Well, let me be the first one to let them in on the secret: "civilized countries do not kidnap citizens of other countries" (unless they are terrorist scum, of course).

And, in their inevitible ranting and raving they proclaim:

North Korea would extract a high price from South Korea and others who helped stage the "premeditated allurement, abduction and terrorism," Pyongyang's Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of the Fatherland said.

So what are you going to do to them? Cut them off from your methamphetamines? Stop shipping conterfeit dollars to them? Cut out the shipments of Kim Il Sung's seminal work "On Socialist Pedagogy"? Ooh. look! They are all atremble! Shut your kimchi holes and crawl back under your rocks, idiots.

But wait! There is more!

The committee said the latest defection was designed to defame and topple the regime and noted that it coincided with consideration of a human rights bill offering aid to defectors by the United States Congress.

You know, y'all really don't need any help defaming nad toppling y'all regime. Seems to me that you are doing a pretty good job of it on your own.

Of course, none of this verbal diarhea directed against South Korea manages to change their current "master/bitch" relationship when it comes to their enemies in the North. As soon as SoKo heard that NoKo was angry they assumed their accustomed position of head down/ass up and asked what they could do for master...

South Korea's unification ministry reaffirmed Thursday its plan to buy 100,000 tonnes of rice from Vietnam as part of a 400,000-tonne food aid for impoverished North Korea.

Beginning to sound like the Philippines over there.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 18:46

Welcome to Civilization

A North Korean baby in a bus seen after arriving in South Korea (news - web sites) with other defectors, in Sungnam, about 24 km south of Seoul, July 27, 2004.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 18:43

Damn!

I just finish a masterpiece of a post about how religion doesn't help presidents when the whole thing got munged when I push the wrong button on my internet machine thing here.

Maybe god is trying to tell me something.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:47

What A Complete Stupid Bastard

The Philippine troops scurried out of Iraq likewomabts being chased by a farmer's backhoe. Everyone agrees on that. Wasn't there fault, really. It was their government that prostrated themselves before the terrorists and agreed to whatever they wanted. Filipinos are, correctly being castigated for their stance. Some of them still don't get it (and seem to revel in their ignorance):

But the core question still is whether to stay or not, whatever the incidentals. The thing is, the Philippines should not have found itself in the mess that was Iraq had it not been too quick in throwing its support to this American-sponsored race and having our troops sprint into the game. Now most everyone agrees that the world would be a much safer arena if Australia, the United Kingdom and America itself followed our lead and ran out of Iraq as quickly as they broke in.

"Most everyone" in the world thinks the world would be safer with a nuclear armed psychopath heading a country with the world's second largest reserves of oil? I don't remember the gallup people coming around asking me that question. Maybe in this case, Filipino moron boy just might be a little bit wrong. Maybe we should ask some Iraqis whether they are safer... Specically the ones in the mass graves. And really, would anyone anywhere be safeer if we were to "run out" at this point? Idiot.

Hyperbole time:

Near me was a U.S. Army trooper, looking languid and dazed, not unlike those war-shocked Vietnam veterans we often see in films. He told me how he appreciates dozing off on the bus, for he did not have the luxury of having a normal sleep during his eight months in Iraq. There was mortar fire every day, and his friends dropped like chickens in front of his eyes. He also got to fire his M-16 every now and then and hit a few warm bodies.

"Dropping like chickens"? What the hell kind of talk is that? Is he implying that us troops are chickens? Is he implying that so many troops are dying so often that it is slaughterhouse-like in Iraq? I hate that fact that 900 good soldiers have lost their lives, but that really is nothing compared to the 3000 Americans and 10,000 Filipinos who died on the Bataan death march:

Homma surrounded US Army General Jonathan Wainwright and 100,000 Americans and Filipinos on Bataan and Corrigedor. They were able to hold out until May 7, 1942, when Wainwright tried to separate his command so that his Southern subordinate, Army General King, could continue resistance. Homma insisted on complete surrender, and Wainwright decided he had no choice. Via radio, he ordered all Allied troops to surrender on May 8. Some Americans and Filipinos retreated into the mountains to begin the kind of warfare that was so infuriating to the Spanish and Americans during their colonial occupations.

King complied, but he had little fight to offer anyway. He was surrounded and continued resistance would have resulted in thousands of deaths. However, thousands died anyway. King�s and Wainwright�s forces were marched several miles in four columns to Camp O�Donnell, which the Japanese were using as a POW camp. 3,000 Americans and 10,000 Filipinos died within days, and thousands more died during the course of their captivity.

Then he makes the absurd assertion:

That was the randomly met, average American soldier for you, Mr. Leno.

Yeah, I bet. If, in fact you didn't actually make him up. Why not ask any of the soldiers serving in Iraq right now or read all the stories of those who say it is tough but they beleive in what they are doing? Because you don't want to. Are there those soldiers opposed to the war, fo course. Are they the "average"? I highly doubt it.

Our biggest problem, really, is that the warriors in our midst are much too fearless. If soldiers and rebels can be even a little less brave, perhaps they will have second thoughts before pulling the trigger. Perhaps there would be fewer gunfights, air strikes, bombings, assassinations and beheadings and less willingness to go to the wilderness or far-flung deserts to partake in wars decided and designed in the comfort and security of sanitized rooms by "dauntless" leaders within and outside of government.

Yeah, as soon as you convince the bastards that attacked us first and killed 3,000 people on 9/11 that they shoudl just be a little nicer, than we can talk about laying down our arms and planting peace gardens. Whe n the whack0jobs of the Islamonzi sort decide that they best way to get to heaven is to kill as many infidels as possible, there are not a whole lot of arguments that you can change his mind with. He is not killing because he is "brave" he is doing it because he is crazy. And you can't reason with crazy people. You have to kill them or risk being killed yourself.

Among warmongers, a subtraction of courage can be a good thing. It may be a less glorious path to peace, but our blessings are too few and far between. So let us just try and run for it.

Yeah, run for it. That just shows the crazies who their bitch is and makes it easier for them to issue more demands.

I would like nothing more than to sit around contemplating peace and freedom, but, as John Adams said:

must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history and naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.
John Adams, letter to Abigail Adams, 1780

I am happy there are folks out ther studying war and are on my side so we can kill the evil bastards before they kill us.

"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country.
He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
- Attributed to General George Patton Jr

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:14

Weekend In DC

Unemployment continues.

I spent the weekend squiring friends from LA around DC. We went to the National Museum of Natural History and the Spy Museum. This was my second trip to the spy museum and I got to see the things that I missed the first time since there was so much to see.

I am now in full unemployment mode since it is a Monday morning, I have yet to shave or shower, and I am sitting my dank, dark basement surfing the web.

I wonder when Oprah is on?
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:40

Corsair the Unemployed Pirate

Well, I am officially unemployed. Now I find myself sitting in my basement, playing on the computer while the family is out and about engaging in their Corsair-less lives. *Sniff*

I will soon be reduced to this:



At least until Aug 2 when I start my new job...

Then it will be back to this:



Woohoo!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:30

I Need to Meet This Guy

What a smartass... Just the kind of guy I could seriously buy beers for... If he drinks beer... Maybe tea or coffee or whatever...

Yes I know it�seems funny�that an Iraqi help some Americans in writing in English but I thought I have attained some modest experience in writing in English throughout these months that probably made me more American than they (linguistically, I mean). Here are the edited paragraphs with the corrections in bold letters:

If this dude is ever in the DC area, drinks are on Corsair!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 18:53

I quit!

I quit my job a couple of days early becuase me manager is a complete asshole.

So now I am at the apple store and I found a link I have to remeber:

http://www.macworld.com/2004/07/secrets/augustdigitalhub/

So there!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:54

All the Girlie-Men News That's Fit To Print

Seems that Arnold is calling things the way he sees them in California. Fed up with the Democrats he called the lot of them "girly-men" and now all the Dems got their panties in a bunch (which should be pretty obvious, being that they are all girly-men).

The reactions are, of course, the best part:

"It uses an image that is associated with gay men in an insulting way, and it was supposed to be an insult. That's very troubling that he would use such a homophobic way of trying to put down legislative leadership," said Kuehl, one of five members of the Legislature's five-member Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Caucus.

So you are admitting that gays are girlie men? Or that you are a girlie man? If someone called me a girlie man, I would have thought they were nuts. Insults only hurt when they hit close to home.

Assemblyman Mark Leno, a San Francisco Democrat who is chairman of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Caucus, said he was glad Schwarzenegger didn't repeat the "girlie men" remark Sunday, saying it was "as misogynist as it is anti-gay."

How is it mysogynistic? He is disparaging men who look/act/are like women. I guess you could say that it insults the women who don't want to be associated with these girlie men either... Or something.

Everyone just relax. If it doesn't apply to you, ignore it. If it does, hit the gym, panty waist!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:38

I'm Changing Jobs

The current company that I work for are so cheap that they do not pay you out for your sick leave when you quit. Therefore I am currently home being "sick".

The next week I will be off all week before having to start up the new job. Woo hoo! Some friends are coming in to do the DC tourist thing, as well.

Posting, therefore may be a bit spotty.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:34

Andy Gave Me an Idea!

Since I am here at the station with naught to do (we just ran a call for a diabetic emergency/heart attack that turned out to be indigestion, I think)I thought I would check out the blog world and see what's popping!

Andy at the World Wide Rant has a game he likes to play called Blogspotting wherein he places random words in front of .blogspot.com to see if anything pops up!

What fun. Let us try it ourselves (I am going for a fireman kind of theme here):

truck.blogspot.com: a piquant little blog entitled "Something Missing"... in this case it would be content! You are met with a big empty page. Was it some kind of joke?

hose.blogspot.com: Appears to be written Klingon. Not that it matters since it has been nearly a year since there was any new content. Maybe the Romulans got them.

water.blogspot.com: Hmmm, another ironic site. "A blog on water resources in the Middle East and Africa" And since there aren't any water resources in the Middle East and Africa, there isn't any content on this site! All very "performance-artish" if you ask me.

helmet.blogspot.com: Someone musta forgot his helmet, fell off his bike, got amnesia and forgot to add any content here.

boots.blogspot.com: Just a few little white lies on this one. "John LeBoutillier offers daily political analysis. His email is johnlebout@johnlebout.com. Feel free to send him your thoughts. John is a noted Conservative Republican and the former US Congressman . He is also the author of HARVARD HATES AMERICA. " Not only is there not "daily political analysis" on this site, there isn't monthly, quarterly, or yearly political anything on this site. He appears to have slept through 2003 and 2004. And this "noted" book author's work on amazon.com does not appear to be flying off the shelf:

Amazon.com Sales Rank: 706,796

Ouch!

firetruck.blogspot.com: Whoa... Hit the motherload of bullshit here. "Photos and commentary from my adventures at protest events in the Portlandarea over the past two years." OK, first, no photos. I would dearly love to see the patchouli-scented, unwashed, hippie freak who got this site together. Two, there must not be much happening in the protest world "in the Portlandarea" since it hasn't been updated since Thursday, September 11, 2003 (spooky date, huh?) But it does have "poetry"!

The moon
has no mind
to eclipse itself
The human mind
eclipses all

Ahh

Ahh
The Shadow
Of the trees
Creating paradise
Just for me

Your mind eclipsed itself so far that you appear not to exist anymore.

Truth
O'reilly rules
Or mabye it's drools
Brit Hume
has got it
or maybe he
forgot it
you had a chance
to listen
but you weren't
paying attention

Yeah, rhyme "rules" with "drools"... Lots of high wattage thinking going on here.

City Image I
A young black man
Basketball in hand
looking for a pickup game
at the swoosh court
at Powell Street Park

("Person of color"
wouldn't fit
the metre)

Racist pig! Using a person of color's image to advance your political agenda and then not even using the politically correct verbage. Nazi!

And there is more, but not for me.

and lastly (for now):

firestation.blogspot.com: This one is called "Cell phone driver" (for no apparent reason). Stephanie lets us know the following: "hello I am stephanie and i have no idea what i am doing." This becomes evident when you look at here mission statement: "People who talk on the cell phine while driving..." She had so little idea what she was doing, she quit after the first post about a year ago.

So there you have it. A quick trip around blogspot.com. Seems Andy was right, all those claims of a bazillion bloggers out there filling the world with talk of their cats, their bowel movements, and rAnd0M T33n 7yp1ng is pretty much a load of hooey.


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 19:26

Political Correctness at NPR (Yeah, I know)

So I am riding over to the station to do some volunteer fire fighting and I hear one of those NPR shows where they read the letters from listeners. The current host was reading a letter from some nabob complaining about hte use of the word "gipped" in a previous show. Said it was detrimental to gypsies and Roma peoples or some such piffery. Said it would make them think gypsies were unstrustworthy and urged that NPR use swindle instead.

And the silly bint reading the letter agreed with him?!? I have spent a considerable amount of time in this world reading, listening, watching and have not once equated the word "gip" with gypsies... Until now. Whenever I hear or use the word (and I will make it a point to use the word whenever I can from now on) I will think of dumb-ass, overly sensitive, wilting maroons who bring up issues that don't really exist.

Idiots.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 18:26

OK, I hate Blogger's new Compose thingy

I will be refusing to use it. HTML was much easier than this thing.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:45

All Together Now!

We all live in a yellow submarine!!





posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:31

Damn Those Japanese

And their efficient ways...


Who knew that folding shirts could be so easy?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:02

Great Googally Moogally!

Prepare to laugh!


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 21:46

Shaaa.

France is not anti-semitic

To everyone, I want to reiterate here my feelings of affection and my personal commitment, my unwavering vigilance and that of the government with respect to all forms of anti-Semitism. In our country, land of the Enlightenment, land of tolerance, freedom and fraternity, every display of racial or religious hatred, every insult, every anti-Semitic act is committed against the whole of France, against every Frenchman and woman. Before you, President Katsav, I want to reiterate our unwavering determination to fight this scourge. I have said and I say again, France will ignore nothing. Our Jewish fellow citizens can retain full confidence in her. France is not anti-Semitic, but nor does she accept the accusations which damage her honour.

How do you explain this, then?

PARIS, France (Reuters) -- French politicians have condemned an apparently anti-Semitic attack on a woman in which a knife-wielding gang on a suburban train cut her hair, ripped her clothes and drew swastikas on her body.

Real easy to condemn after the fact. Maybe you should be looking at why people feel they can get away with this kind of shit in the first place And notice that no one bothered to help the poor lady or her baby while this was going on. I guess that would be too "cowboyish" or something.

UPDATE:

Oops! Turns out it was all a hoax.

I still think France is icky, however.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:30

Korea Find One Month of Gas!

Talk about diminishing returns. Korea spent a lot of time and money looknig for black gold in and around their little country. Here's what they got:

Korea's dream of becoming an oil-producing country was finally realized last Sunday, with the first successful production of natural gas at the Tonghae(East Sea)-1 gas mine in Ulsan, South Kyongsang Province.

OK, first off, this find would make them a gas-producing (as if we didn't know that already) country, not an "oil-producing" one.

It is the first time for the energy-stricken country to produce oil in 35 years since it started exploring Korea's continental shelf in 1969, the Korea National Oil Corporation said.

35 freaking years?!!? Well at least they got a good return on their investment... right?

The volume of reserves is about 5 million tons when converted into liquefied natural gas.

Korea uses 80 million tons of gas per year, and though the reserves cannot even cover one month of the nation's gas consumption, the economic effects are significant.

A stinking month's worth of gas? How much gas did they use up looking for that month's worth?

I propose that they could have found more than a month looking in all the little cast off canisters of gas that Koreans use when they go camping and in kalbi restaurants.

Boy, talk about joining a club for all the wrong reasons.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:14

People Jumping in Line to Make Themselves Look Stupid!

There are not one, but two idiots in this story. One of them is a rapidly-approaching alzheimers political idiot:

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- State Education Secretary Richard Riordan jokingly told a child her name, Isis, meant "stupid dirty girl," prompting the head of the California NAACP on Thursday to call for his resignation.

"Gee, what fun it would be to mock this liitle girl's name!" If this guy isn't pricing assisted living centers right this minute, he is a bigger moron than this story suggests:

The conversation, videotaped by KEYT-TV, took place July 1. The girl, 6-year-old Isis D'Luciano, asked Riordan if he knew her name meant "Egyptian goddess."

Riordan replied, "It means stupid dirty girl."

After nervous laughter in the room, the girl again told Riordan the meaning of her name.

"Hey, that's nifty," he said.

Actually, Mr. Ex-Mayor, the little girl appears to be much smarter and more gracious than you. Not mentioning the drool and your zipper malfunction, I mean.

But we have not one but two stars in this little drama. Here is a jamoke seriously trying to get his name in the papers whatever it takes:

Democratic state Assemblyman Mervyn Dymally, who had scheduled a protest by civil rights organizations, canceled the demonstration after an apparent mix-up over the girl's racial background.

Dymally was quoted in the San Jose Mercury News Thursday saying the child was "a little African-American girl. Would he (Riordan) have done that to a white girl?"

The girl is white, with blonde hair.

Dymally did not return telephone calls. His office issued a statement Wednesday calling Riordan's remarks to the girl "outrageous and irresponsible," then issued another statement Thursday saying, "To err is human; to forgive is divine."

"Race is not a factor in this issue," Dymally said in Thursday's statement, adding that Riordan had apologized a second time. "It is time for us to move on."

One: Riordan did say this to a little white girl. Two: Where is your outrage on her behalf, despite not getting you any votes. And Three: would Mr. "Time to move on" have been so accomadating had this little girl been black?

And to think I used to live in California. *sniff* I miss the whole gang of idiots.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:05

OK, I Might Just Go To A Play

I may not know art, but I know what I like! And I like this:

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- David Hyde Pierce, Tim Curry and Hank Azaria were named Wednesday as the leading trio for next year's Broadway-bound production of Monty Python's "Spamalot."

"Spamalot," to be directed by Oscar and Tony Award winner Mike Nichols, is billed as "the musical lovingly ripped off from the motion picture, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail,"' the 1975 comedy directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones.

It tells the tale of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and their quest for the Holy Grail. A chorus line of dancing divas and knights, flatulent Frenchmen, killer rabbits and one legless knight are featured.

He said "Flatulent Frenchmen"! Ha Ha!

What!? I have to wait until next year?!

The show is scheduled to have a world premiere engagement in Chicago, Illinois, from December 21, 2004, to January 16, 2005, before beginning Broadway previews on February 7.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:20

Slam! Bang! Wham! Kapow!

Lileks fershthomples him! He crandangles him! He keranks him and leaves his bloody corpse laying in the street for the islamonazis to jump all over!

Don flame retardent underdrawers and proceed cautiously:

Back to his opinion piece:

Let's create a world in which, when people see the Stars and Stripes, they will think of us as the people who brought peace to the world, who brought good-paying jobs to all citizens and clean water for the world to drink.

In anticipation of that day, I am putting my flag out today, with hope and with pride.

There you have it. He wants the flag to stand for clean water. This from a man who waddles up to the deep well of American freedom, fumbles with his zipper, and pisses in it.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:58

Want to Invade Malaysia?

I am not sure why anyone would want to invade Malaysia, but I think the easiest way to do it would be to line up at the border, fling hamburgers and fries over the line to the Malay troops, wait a bit, and then step over their artery-hardened corpses and waltz right into the capital:

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysia's armed forces are fighting the battle of the bulge.

Too many servicemen are overweight and death rates from diseases linked to obesity have soared compared to deaths on active duty, officers say, prompting a new campaign offering rewards for chubby soldiers who eat less and exercise more.

Obese soldiers are being offered incentives to lose 22 pounds in six months, a military spokesman said Wednesday. The rewards are yet to be determined, but it won't be extra meals, the spokesman said.

Armed forces chief Gen. Mohamad Zahidi Zainuddin said 20 percent of 1,488 soldiers who died in the past decade succumbed to chronic weight-related problems such as high blood pressure, hypertension and diabetes.

Want to win even quicker? Add some cigs to your assault!

Adding to the military's unhealthy lifestyle, more than half of the roughly 100,000 servicemen and women smoke cigarettes, Zahidi said.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:14

Who The Hell Knew That?

It turns out that Vietnam is the second largest exporter of rice in the world!?!

HANOI, July 7 (Reuters) - Vietnam, the world's second-largest rice exporter, will ship 1,000 tonnes of 10-percent broken rice in food aid to help fellow communist state North Korea recover after an April train disaster.

And who knew that rice could be broken or that you could categorize it thusly?!

Man, the intarweb is a wonderful thing. You learn something useless everyday!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:06

OMG! Saddam Was a Freaking Pimp!

He sure was living the pimp lifestyle... Check out his "k"!




Would you be caught dead mowing down Kurds with that? The other terrorists and dictators would laugh at you!

What a punk.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:50

Now This is the Sort of Annoying Bastard That I Could Get Along With

Christopher Hitchens is a voice of sanity in an otherwise silly world given to bowing and scraping and beseeching and fearing. He makes his case thusly:

Born in Portsmouth, England, Hitchens, like many British schoolboys, was made to endure religious services on a regular basis. �They could make me go to the ceremony� he concedes, �but they couldn�t make me pray.� Religion is a sticking point for Hitchens; he loathes it and the mentality that leads people to submit themselves to a doctrine for which there is no proof.

�Why would you want to believe that there was a permanent celestial supervision over everything you did that started before you were born and didn�t quit after you die? An inescapable round-the-clock authority; I mean, who wants that to be true?� he questions. �It�s the origins of totalitarianism. It�s the Dear Leader from dawn till dusk. I hate that. And I�m glad there�s no evidence that it�s true. If it were true, I would think it was cause for despair. Horrible.�

As I have said previously, if I was walking down the street and God almighty himself stepped out of the shadows and greeted by name, did a couple of miracles to show the bona fides, and asked "what do you think?" I think I would nod politely, ask him how Jeebus was doing, and maybe ask for the lottery numbers for next week.

Would I drop down on my knees and proclaim him the greatest thing since New Coke? Doubtful since he probably already knows this and besides, what would it mean coming from the likes of me?!? As long as he allowed me to go on my way, I suppose I would keep up with his story in the papers and maybe tell my friends that I had met him once.

I don't get what else I would be expected to do. Much like this Hitchens fellow (whose books I am going to have to start purchasing).
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 19:19

Corsair Is a Big Effing Pussy II

Just saw Spiderman 2 with Corsair Jr. Yeah, I welled up when that moon-faced, snaggle tooth of a Mary Jane threw away everything to be with Peter Parker at the end there (oops, did I spoil it? So what! It is my site!). Too bad about everyone in the world knowing Spidey's secret ID. How they gonna weave that into future movies?

Of course there are going to be future movies. This one already made $100 bazillion in its first 45 minutes (that is all you get these days, unless you get your whole investment back 45 minutes after opening, it is time to slit your wrists whilst falling off a tall building because you just shot youself).

Looks Like I am scheduled to take Princess Corsair I to see Shrek 2 later today!

Movies with the Corsair Clan Day!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:36

I see Your Embarrassment

So you go along reading a relatively tame article about dating and email and how kids today have to know the ins and outs of technology before they can make a connection with someone. Then you come to this part:

I ask myself if all this technology has brought us more than webcam weddings and crossed signals. The biggest fallacy is that technology makes it easier to find Mr. Right. It turns out that 21st-century technology is no better a matchmaker than Austen's Emma was in 19th-century England. More often it softens the blow when you've found Mr. Wrong; a rejection is both easiest to write and to read in electronic text. The very delay and confusion inherent in these new forms of communication allow us to edit our words and mask the embarrassment better than we can in person.

OK, that is fine and all. Reread your stuff so that you don't send out things that make you look silly...

Like this:

Better yet, you can always tell yourself that he probably didn't have enough RAM in his hard drive anyway.

Not enough what in his where?
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:39

Best. Movie. Ever.

I just finished watching Jonny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean. If you have seen it once, you need to see it again. Depp's depiction of Captian Jack Sparrow is incredible. Watch his eyes, eyebrows, and hands and there is a whole added dimension to his performance.

Damn, I had forgotten how good this movie was...


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 20:47

Infantile Obsession Gets Hot and Heavy

It is summer and we all know what that means!

Golf!

And around here, golf means belly buttons!



And again... no one else is sporting the button quit like the ladies from Korea.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:36

You Gotta Look Hard...

But a real Belly-Button-ophile can spot them where others can't:



Hmmm. Just did an LPGA check on yahoo pictures... Why is it, do you think that the only lady golfers in this list who show off the ole belly button are Koreans? They can't get long shirts in Korea? "Tucking" isn't done there? The Korean ladies think the have better looking "buttons"?

Why isn't anyone covering this story? I'll bet the religious right has something to do with it! Did you know that belly buttons are not mentioned even once in the bible? And that loons like this guy actually believe that Adam and Eve really lived and didn't even have belly buttons?

What's more, this would be a tremendous testimony to God's creativity. Ken Ham once put it this way: Lack of a belly-button on Adam and Eve would be one of the biggest tourist attractions in the pre-Flood world, as the grandchildren and the great-grandchildren would come up and say, 'Why don't you have a belly-button?' And they could recount again and again, to generation after generation, how God had created them special by completed supernatural acts, and yet had designed them to multiply and fill the earth in natural ways that are equally a part of God's continuing care for what He created.

Of course, the grandchildren and great grandchildren (along with all the other children and unborn and eveyone else) of the mythical Adam and Eve would soon die a horrible drowning death at the hands of that same god who worried about "care for what He created." He cared so much he killed them all in a mythical flood so he could start all over.

When I get to the point in a computer script, wood working project, or blog entry that I feel the need to completely destroy it, I think "Shit I really messed that up. Time to start over." Which is fine when you do not profess to be all knowing and all no-mistake-making. Couldn't god foresee that he was screwing everything up in this first go round and that he would need to kill nearly eveyone and start again?

Seems kind of inept, if you ask me.

And all this from a belly button photo...
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:18