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No Posting for this week


Sorry, Corsair relatives have arrived and we are headed to DC to walk the mall and get all historical with the monuments and such.

More when I get a chance to sit down. Post Turkey Day.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:34

Why I Need to Be King of the World

And not some sissified "standing on the front of a boat" kind of king. I am talking about a repressive "boot in the face" kind of king. First I would outlaw all stupidity. I know this would not endear me to my subjects, but it must be done. And I would start with anyone who even remotely resembles someone from the following paragraph:

The pathological loathing of women by the Taliban didn't spring from nowhere, nor has it evaporated overnight. This is an apartheid society, a bifurcated human race where one half has been systematically excised: mothers, wives, daughters are only empty vessels, the regrettable and disgusting physical function through which men must deign to be born. Men are everything to one another here and their warm and public emotion can be a touching sight. They hug, kiss, embrace, weep together, delighting in each other's company, laughing and probably making love quite a lot too. (Battles between warlords have been fought recently over beautiful boys, often involving kidnap and male rape.) British public-school bonding with the Afghan men of the mountains continues to this day. On my way out I picked up the latest award-winning Afghan travel book, and it was full of the same weird British romance for rugged men in rugged mountains. The only mention of women was a passing reference to the doe-eyed houris promised in heaven by the Prophet to every jihad martyr.

Banish them straigt to hell. Find a big cliff somewhere (the grand canyon isn't full yet, is it?) and push them all in. Prehistoric hunt of the mastadon sort of thing. There are so many things wrong with the sentiments expressed by the l00ser5 in this paragraph that I will not even begin to pick it apart. It is just a big tangled ball of vileness. Can't fix it so I would have to throw the whole thing away.

And then there is that which brought them to this point:

At the start of this session, many had proclaimed that women should have absolutely equal rights with men, so I asked the translator if they thought it right and fair that this abusive father should keep the child. The translator looked at me nervously and whispered, "I don't think I can ask that." "Why not?" "Because it is our Islamic law, in the Koran, that after the age of nine a daughter belongs to the father." "But ask them if it is fair in this extreme case?" Quietly the translator asked them, and they fell silent and gazed down at the carpet. No one spoke until Fahina, the battered wife, said softly, "It is the law", with tears falling down her face.

Once the shutter of religion falls, the rest is silence. The women are indoctrinated so deep with it that their own inferiority is branded on their brains. Every time sophisticated Muslims in the west use sophistry to explain that the prophet was actually a great liberator of women, every time they fail to condemn outright some of the Koranic laws themselves and demand reformation, they help condemn women across the Islamic world to this self-immolating damage.

Ah, religious stupidity rules the day. That would be my next decree. If people must worship something because they can't think for themselves, let them worship me. My book of rules would be pretty thin, though. My Commandments: 1. Keep yourself healthy. 2. Make yourself and others happy 3. Live and let live 4. Pay your taxes or you will spend an eternity in the deepest pits of hell (I just threw that last one in because people can't seem to be happy unless they are being threatened by their deity). Pretty simple really. And all the psalms and songs and bad poetry? Chuck them out the window. (thanks to Brian at grotto11.com)

But that is not all the religious stupidity for the day! Seems the religion of peace has gone on quite a bender this week in Nigeria:

KADUNA, Nigeria -- Dozens have been killed in northern Nigeria in rioting that erupted after a newspaper suggested the Prophet Mohammad would have approved of the Miss World beauty contest.

The death toll was more than 100 with more than 500 taken to hospital, aid workers said on Friday.

Mobs in the mainly-Muslim city of Kaduna burned Christian churches and rampaged through the streets until hundreds of soldiers arrived to restore order and enforce a 24-hour curfew.

Oh, and the pretty airheads there for their little pageant. Just go ahead and get on planes and leave. Why should thugs such as exist in Nigeria be able to gaze on your loveliness? They shouldn't, that's what! You should all swing on by my place and have your pageant in my basement. Winner gets to go to dinner with me... If Mrs. Corsair will let me go (behind every deity-like god-king there is someone even more scary!)
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:56

Oooorah Reporters!

Great story in the WaTi (Washington Times.. sorta like the Washington Post but filled with Moonie Whackoes) about reports going off to play Marine for a week:

The making of a Marine, kinda
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:23

Toles Nails It!

Tom Toles says basically the same thing I said... Except he used pictures and I used this blogging machine on my desk... Anyway:


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:51

Christians No Longer Allowed to Pray at "Big-Ass Ugly Rock"

For all the talk about idolatry, seems some christian types just can't get enough of praying to big ugly blocks of granite. They will, however not be able to do so at a courthouse any more:

MONTGOMERY, Ala., Nov. 18 � Roy Moore may be the chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, but around here most people just call him the Ten Commandments judge.

And the 5,280-pound monument of the holy tablets he wheeled into his courthouse early one morning last year, without the knowledge of his colleagues, is simply known as "Roy's rock."

Almost instantly the chunk of granite became a beacon, a shinning light across the South, drawing fundamentalist Christians to Montgomery by the busload. Many dropped to their knees in front of the monument and prayed.

You want to to have a mythical basis for your laws, fine go read Lord of the Rings. You want to have laws promulgated by the mind of man (which might be a problem in Alabama.. maybe they can copy some from a neighboring state) go to the courthouse. And never the twain shall meet!

Religiods are always complaining that us non-religious want to impose our heathenistic, atheistic ways on them by denying them the right to force children to pray in school or by taking away their religious symbols from government institutions. Don't they see what is wrong with that? No one is saying they can't make fools of themselves (see the article below about trying to pray a dead child back to life) in any way that they see fit. Just don't do it on public property! You want to root for the Washington Redskins? Fine! Just don't do it at a Dallas Cowboys bar! You want to engage in homosexual activity? Fine! There is a time and place for that! You want to hunt? Great! How's about not doing it at the local SPCA?! You want to pray to a hunk of granite? FINE! Set one up in front of your mobile home! Just don't place one in front of the building where the public's business is being conducted.

This clown in Alabama doesn't seem to see the need to do the religious thing in one place and the law thing in another. Seems to think he is running a church:

Justice Moore had repeatedly said he would never remove the monument, a four-foot-high cube that rises from the lobby floor. It was one of his campaign pledges two years ago to bring the Ten Commandments to the State Supreme Court.

He has also rejected requests from outside groups to display other monuments in the courthouse. By state law, it is his decision. In the chief justice's pocket are the courthouse keys. An alliance of black organizations asked to put up a plaque of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech. Justice Moore said no. Ditto for the atheist group that wanted to display a statue of an atom.

So what happens when an adulterer comes up before this guy? Or someone who doesn't keep the sabbath sacred? Or, heaven forbid a witch! Will he make his rulings based on his wacky interpretation of a many thousand year old, mistranslated book? Or use the law as it is written in Alabama? The perception of impropriety is the problem here.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:07

Mugabe is A Complete Fuckwit

Oops, I'm sorry, was that rude? No? It might be illegal, however!

GOVERNMENT has legislated that Zimbabweans will not be allowed to utter any words, or make any movement or gesture that might be construed to be offensive to President Mugabe or any member of his escort, when the presidential motorcade passes.

The regulations are with immediate effect.

The Statutory Instrument provides that: �It is hereby notified that the Minister of Transport and Communications has made the regulation that . . . on the approach and during the passing of a State motorcade a driver shall not make any gesture or statement within the view or hearing of the State motorcade with the intention of insulting any person travelling with an escort or any member of the escort.�

Jeebus Cimminy! What an asshole! What a complete and utter coffee nosed, malodorous pervert! This guy's bullet can't come fast enough.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:32

Prison Babes!

What more can you say?


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:13

North Korean Children Forced to Eat Own Fingers In Order to Survive!

I never thought it would get this bad!


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:31

Well That is Awful Presumptuous Of You

See, the all-loving and all-knowing god has already called your little one to him to help him frolic in the garden of heavenly delights (whilst ruining your life in the process but that doesn't matter as along as he gets more wee little ones to mow the lawns and tend to the flowers) and you got nothing better to do than assualt his ears with your caterwauling? Who are you to try and change the will of god?!? You are lucky you don't get smote down yourself!

Sunday, November 17, 2002 - SILVERTHORNE - Christians throughout the United States are praying this week for the resurrection of a Silverthorne toddler.

The child's family began their own prayers, which led to the establishment of a national prayer chain, last Sunday. Zion Jungck died in an accident at the family home that day when a filing cabinet fell on top of him while he played in the living room.

Sounds like a righteous death. Toddler killed for the sins of his father and all that. But this poor kid's whack job parents won't leave well enough alone!

The boy was pronounced dead at Summit Medical Center, and embalmed early last week. The Jungcks, whom Zion's father Paul said are Charismatic Christians, then brought his body to their Silverthorne home. There, they began to pray.

"This has been a step-by-step walk," Paul Jungck said Saturday. "Each step, he's given us hope and encouragement."

OK. Serious loony alert time!

Wanna know how to embalm?

In modern embalming then, an embalming fluid that is both a disinfectant and a preservative is injected into the circulatory system of the body by an electric pump while the blood is forced out of the body and disposed of. In effect, the blood is replaced with a disinfectant and preservative solution. Cosmetics are later applied to replace the natural colour removed by the embalming process, much of which is created by blood in facial capillaries that is no longer present. In the case of women, cosmetics used in life may also be used to recreate the "look" the person had during life and the hair is combed or set.

So which step gave you all this encouragement? When all the blood came out or when the Lysol went in? And how is the poor kid going to feel when he comes back to life with disenfectant in his veins? "Clean" did you say?

Jungck said he is well aware of what other people may think about the way they are dealing with their child's death.

"It's much safer for your reputation when your child dies to bury your child, do the conventional thing," he said. "I'm sure people who don't understand would look at us and say: A, we're in denial, and B, these people are just whacked. Even when you start talking about hearing the voice of God, a red flag goes up. We're not ashamed of what we're doing."

To be ashamed, you would have to have some inkling that what you are doing is shameful. You, in your god-fearing frenzy have divorced yourself from the rest of humanity and ow do not know what is real and what is fantasy. Sorry your child was killed. Put him in the ground, cry, hold up some pictures and attempt to return to normalcy. What I see here is (according to Corsair the Rational Psychiatrist) a huge load of guilt for letting the filing cabinet get over stuffed or over loaded or whatever happened to it and letting it fall on your kid. If you hadn't been so stupid, then maybe Junior would be around today. Now, of course you are asking god for a do-over when he already took you kid away once for you being incompetent.

Jungck said he knows of confirmed stories of people rising from the dead, in both biblical and modern times. No matter the outcome, he said, the family's beliefs will remain strong.

"We're not basing our faith on whether or not this happens," Jungck said. "We've surrendered him back to the Lord, (saying) you gave him to us in the first place. It's really in your hands."

People rising from the dead? Pray, let us in on your secret knowledge of the zombies that walk amongst us! I would like to see these undead creatures for myself.... In a locked cage hopefully. Of course you can't base your faith on whether or not your god answers all your entreaties to change his mind. Since he has never actually answered any prayer offered by anyone in thousands of years, why should you be put out when he doesn't answer yours. Par for the course.

You just keep on living in your fantasy land. But for the love of god let the little kid's body get put in the ground where it belongs!

Whack-o!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:01

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Great Googaly Moogaly!!! It ain't even human anymore!!!

Ewwww...


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:55

Must Be Getting Awfully Hot in Seoul These Days

What with all the burning of flags going on over there. Nice to see that it isn't just ours for a change.





Don't those people know there is a global warming thing going on? The should have the decency to hold their flag burnings indoors!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:28

Cool Stuff on the Web

Ever notice the increasingly amazing amount of cool stuff on the web? Things that people could never have envisioned at any prior time in history? Not only my site of course but amazing things that others have done. Case in point is the couple who fly up and down the coast of California in a helicopter taking pictures of the coastline. Not just bits of the coast line but the entire frigging thing!!! And then they post it for all to see! For free! How cool is that?!?!?! Look! There is a picture of the hovel I shared with four other college students back in 1983-84 while I was wasting my time attending the University of California at Santa Barbara (though it shocks you to hear, I was not a very good student). My underachievement was not entirely my fault, of course as you can see from the picture I was one-block from the beach!!! One Block! What the hell was I supposed to do?

So anyway, for all those in California and all those who wish they were head on over to californiacoastline.org and scope out some amazing pictures!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:30

Gee, You Think This Was Intentional?!

Compare and contrast (as my freshman english teacher used to say):





Normally I would have a snarky comment at this point. Sorry, none today.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:18

It Sure Sounds Like English

I was reading Tim Blair this morning when he ups and starts making with the sports talk. At least... I think it was sports talk:

This might rank among the greatest blunders in the history of sport. Perth's Gareth Parker was quick to post an item suggesting Australia could score 600 runs. Possibly Gareth was pessimistic. At the end of the first day's play Australia had scored 364 runs for the loss of only two wickets. Matthew Hayden is not out on 186. Only Sir Donald Bradman, in 1931, hit more runs on the first day of a Brisbane Test. In my entire life, only 13 batsmen have hit 186 runs or more in an Ashes innings � and Hayden is still there, with a whole new day before him. Moreover, Hussain has exposed his batsmen to the ordeal of facing Shane Warne in the final innings of the match, which might be on Saturday.

See how the words appear to be English but aren't really in any order that makes sense? "Australia had scored 364 runs for the loss of only two wickets"? "Matthew Hayden is not out on 186"? And Especially "only 13 batsmen have hit 186 runs or more in an Ashes innings"? As a clueless American all I can say is "HUH?"

There was this episode of Star Trek The Next Generation where our intrepid crew comes across a new alien species. They spend some time miscommunicating with each other and then Captain Picard and the captain of the alien ship end up on the planet doing more miscommunicating. They are all using the same language (translated by the universal translator no doubt) but the cultural references keep getting in the way. The aliens say things that make sense to them and have become shorthand for much larger and more intricate concepts based on the stories and history behind the phrases but that doesn't help Picard since he doesn't know the all the background detail that makes the phrase "Chaka...when the walls fell." mean something.

Sort of like what happens when I read cricket reports. How about this? "Third and six on the Vikings 18. Moss is split right and Bennet is in the backfield. Culpepper takes the snap, drops back two steps and dump it off to Moss to avoid the blitz. Moss catches it in the flat, jukes right, pulls a spin move and runs in for six." Now that is real sports talk!







posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:27

The Rending of Clothes is Reaching Historic (Hysteric?) Levels

The San Francisco Chronicle is a wonderful laboratory of left wing commie-think and over reaction. Now that Republicans (of which I am not but I can appreciate many of their positions) have won a few races here and there around the country (except in California, it must be pointed out) the chicken littles are screeching up a storm. Let us repair to the letters page of the 11/7/02 Chron...

The first one to look at is a commie from Berkeley.. I'm sorry, that is redundant:

VIEW FROM BERKELEY

Editor -- An astronomer was once told that a nuclear explosion could destroy the Earth. He thought for a moment, then said, "Well, it's not as if the Earth is a major planet."

This is an attitude that we will all need to adopt because we are moving closer and closer to a fascist state. The Republicans have already done tremendous damage to the environment, reproductive rights, civil liberties and U.S. relations with the rest of the world. Now they'll be able to move even faster and will appoint more far-right judges to dismantle our legal system.

NANCY WARD

Berkeley

First off, no nukyoolar explosion could even come close to destroying the earth. Don't be such an idiot. As for the fascist state thing? Yeah, I don't see anyone knocking down your door to shove a jackboot into your piehole. Not that I (or your neigbors I would suspect) would object. And just yesterday I saw some RepubliKKKans down at the Rainforest Cafe chopping down the rare trees to make toothpicks after feasting on Endagered Species Stew! Take pictures now cause soon we will all be living in a Mad Max land of unending devastaton and leather pants and football gear.

Oakland vomits up this gem:

OSAMA'S BIG WIN

Editor -- Osama bin Laden didn't realize until our election day how much serious harm he has done to this country and especially the middle class. Had it not been for Sept. 11 creating the patriotic fervor that forced Americans to support their president, Mr. Bush would not have been granted the mandate he now has to run roughshod over the middle class.

Big Oil, corporate giants and Bush insiders will thrive at the expense of education, the environment, health care and prescription drugs for seniors, et al. I hope the electorate wakes up before 2004 and corrects this temporary aberration.

RALPH VALLE

Oakland

Clearly this guy is not part of the *sniff*middle class*sniff* as he has not been "forced" to support his President (who wasn't really elected... yadda yadda yadda) like the great unwashed and unthinking amongst us who can't slap two neurons togther correctly enough to order up our daily portion of pablum and wrestling. Being better and smarter and more tanned than the ignorant masses allows him the time to think Big Thoughts and hope for the salvation of the US through the very people who can not tie their shoes correctly ("does the rabbit ears go around the tree then out the hole or down the hole and around the tree?"). Better get your dunce cap on and join the rest of us, goober!

Then we have this chrome domed analyst:

WHAT LIES AHEAD

Editor -- Republicans didn't win on President Bush's coattails. Be honest. They won because Karl Rove's cynical strategy of creating a war with Iraq worked. Gullible Americans are so eager to hate an evil swarthy foreigner that they were distracted from Republicans picking their pockets.

Now we can look forward to more obscene tax cuts for the rich, wholesale rape of the environment, huge deficits, obstruction of any investigation into corruption and a packed judiciary. Not to mention an imperial foreign policy that may start World War III.

TYREE HILKERT

San Francisco

Well slap my face and call me a rube! I thought it was Saddam Hussein's strategy of invasion, repression, suppression, subjugation, and some other words that end in -ion that started up the whole war talk thing. I didn't know Karl Rove worked with him! Had the unwashed electorate known that maybe they wouldn't have been so supportive! This maroon is hitting the environment thing again (like all the other skipping records on this page). What is that? Under both Republican and Democratic administrations over the years this country has gotten cleaner and shinier and better smelling than it has ever been! When did Reagan break out the chain saw on the trees on the South Lawn of the Whitehouse? And just who would we be starting WWIII with? The Islamonazis? Look over in Somalia and see what happens to them when they leave the house! But then I am sure you disagree with that too. Probably spent the last several days mumbling about constitutional rights and arrest and lengthy prison sentences...What a spitoon!

And now for the Young and the Hopeless:

THE REAL ISSUES

Editor -- With Republican control of the Congress, White House and the Supreme Court, and an extremely timid Democratic Party, our country seems to have lost its system of checks and balances.

If only the media played their role as watchdog and kept the real issues in front of the voters: corporate corruption, under- funded schools, high unemployment and abysmal health care, we might have some hope.

JULIE INY

Oakland

No checks and balances here folks, move right along! If it had been the Dems who "controlled" all these sacred institutions you would be crowing about the "intelligence of the American people" and "now it's time to get things done" and "mandate!" and other silliness. You're just mad cause you lost. The media covered plenty of those tired old bromides and you know what? People didn't care! So I guess you have no hope. Why don't you jump off that Golden Gate Bridge y'all are so fond of jumping off of.

Well, wasn't that fun. I wonder what it is like to live in a place so removed from reality? Oh, wait! I did used to live there! That is why I live in Virginia now.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:46

Once Again Tom Gets it Right


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:07

Booyah!

Dawnie looking all hottie and stuff! Those of you who don't watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer won't know who Dawn is (hint: the Slayer's little sister) but she tarts it up and gets all "Christina Agulleira" on us last night on the show! Like this!

and this!

Hey Now!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:44

Quick! Get Your Elephant Guns!

The Unbiased *snicker* San Francisco Chronicle has the following on its website:

GOP Captures Congress
Right snags House and Senate in historic night for Bush.

Wonder what kind of trap he used? Cheese? Tiger Trap? Big piles of poisoned cash?
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:44

Must Be Nice to Live in Fantasy Land

North Korea is currently the most despotic, evil, lying suckass country on earth. Saudi Arabia? Kindergarten. Syria? Preschool! Vietnam? Happy Fun Land. In North Korea not only do you not get to think, you get to not think and starve at the same time! No food, no freedom, no MTV. You can eat all 47 volumes of The Life and Times of the Dear Leader Kim Jong Il as He Leads The Glorious Revolution of the People to Unprecedented Proseperity in an Army Based System (or something like that). And now there are people from the UN (you know that bastion of clear headedness, decency and common sense) complaining that they are not getting enough money and food to prop up the evil regime feed the people:

"We've had to cut our work in North Korea in half and I'm concerned we may have to cut it in half again ... I'm very troubled about how we're going to do our humanitarian work in North Korea going forward," said WFP Executive Director James Morris.

"Japan has historically given us $100 million a year to feed the people in North Korea. They've not been able to do that this year and that's a serious resource shortfall," he told Ottawa's National Press Club.

"They've not been able to do that this year " this is polite diplomaticese for "They are really pissed about that whole kidnapping their citizens thing and they ain't coming through with the simoleans like they used to." Well, duh! What did you expect? "Though you keep stealing my children, neighbor friend of mine, I will continue paying for your lunch!"

The prospects for the talks are unclear. Pyongyang, increasingly isolated over a secret nuclear arms program, threatened earlier on Tuesday to reconsider a moratorium on test-firing missiles if talks on normalizing ties with Japan failed to make progress.

The isolated, heavily armed state -- branded part of an "axis of evil" by U.S. President George W. Bush (news - web sites) -- has been hard hit by several years of natural disasters, chronic food and energy shortages, and economic mismanagement.

Oh, yeah, that will work better. Threatening someone with missiles and nuclear weapons only worked in the Clinton era. As we have seen, after their last little threaten session where they got food, oil, and nuclear power plants they forgot to keep up their end of the bargain to stop making the nasty little bombies. Now that they need some more oil, food and nuclear power plants they returned to their bag o'tricks to pull out the weapon thing again. Unfortunately as they had agreed to halt the production of the weapons last time it is kinda hard to use that chip without seeming like they haven't kept up their previous agreements. So now they are mad that everyone else is mad about them being welchers.

And working with these unreconstructed stalinist monsters is soooo difficult:

"We asked the government of North Korea to give us a list of the institutions that receive the food. We don't get adequate reports. We don't have a good understanding with the government about the evacuation of our personnel if they have a health problem," he said.

"It's mind-boggling to me, I must say, when you're trying to do nothing but save lives and feed people and do humanitarian work, why some governments make it so difficult."

Had you any sort of mind to boggle maybe your last statement would have made sense. As it is you merely come off looking like a gullible buffoon. Look around you pal, you ain't in Kansas handing out Red Cross packages. You are in Hell and you can't figure out why the landlord is being so mean!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:51

Look at the Face of Evil

WICHITA, Kan. � Defense attorneys pleaded with jurors Tuesday to show mercy on two brothers who were convicted of five killings, including a quadruple murder of friends who were forced to engage in sex acts before each was shot in the head.

Reginald Carr, 24, and Jonathan Carr, 22, did not show any visible reaction when they were convicted Monday after a nearly two-month trial. On Tuesday, jurors began considering whether they should be sentence to death or to life in prison.

What is to consider? Read the story and find out that:

In December 2000, the men entered a Wichita home and forced two women and three men inside to engage in sexual acts with each other and to withdraw money from ATMs.

The women were repeatedly raped before all five friends were taken to a soccer field, forced to kneel in the snow and shot in the back of the head.

It would then take me about 1 minute... no I lie 10 seconds (while I clear my throat) to sentence these animals to being repeatedly raped, taken to a soccer field, forced to kneel in snow (or broken glass) and shot in the back of their heads. Preferably with something listed onder "large caliber".

Of course their stupid lawyers have other ideas (I know, they are just doing their jobs):

"I ask you to extend mercy to Reginald Carr that he did not extend to those four individuals," Greeno said to jurors Tuesday.

OK. They can have blindfolds. That is as far as my mercy would extend.

Pieces of shit.
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:17

Is a Militant the Same Thing as a Terrorist?

The WaPo is dancing around the definition of the what the black smudge on the Yemeni highway used to be. If you look at the picture you see the caption:

A man picks through the wreckage of a vehicle destroyed in a U.S. missile strike in Yemen, the first use of the Predator drone aircraft outside Afghanistan. Six suspected militants died. (AP)

But in the article it clearly says:

A missile fired by a U.S. Predator drone over Yemen Sunday killed six suspected al Qaeda terrorists in a vehicle about 100 miles east of the nation's capital, the first time the United States has used the unmanned weapon outside Afghanistan, sources familiar with the action said yesterday.

So what was the guy and his currently roadkill buddies?


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:55

Now This is a Long Range Picture

It's freakin' Saturn! Saturn! How cool is that?!


posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:45

All Riiight! Wrestling Chicks!

Hey, wait a minute! This don't look right! Where's the folding chairs?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:20

For All Those Who Have Ever Been Laid Off

There is this guy, see, who got laid off... and stuff... and then made some moovies about it? And he needs your mon-ay. Go to oddtodd.com and watch the funniest thang you will see on the internet... and stuff.





















posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:45

Ooooh! I'm sure that will scare them!

Religious people have this... shall we call it "faith" that praying actually accomplishes something. "If only I get on my knees, call god a really great guy a couple of times, and ask for something then I will get it!" The logical inconsistency here is that if god has already decided that the tornado is coming toward your church and if god is all knowing and all seeing and all full of himself, then praying really is nothig more than trying to get him to change his mind after the fact. This would imply that he made a mistake in the first place (you know, not having consulted with you about the whole tornado/church thing) and now he can correct that mistake because he finally heard what you had to say. Right about this time the tornado takes the roof off the church and you spend the rest of the day thanking god for not killing more than he did, forgetting all about the unanswered prayer to not hit the freaking church in the first place.

The answer to this of course is to not pray because god has already made up his mind or to pray with the knowledge that he is just going to ignore whatever you are asking for anyway.

This weekend there is a godless march in Washington DC. I like to read lucianne.com (a headline posting site with comments) to see what the troglodytes and neandertals ensconced therein have to grunt about the news of the day. Some of the reactions to this march are as follows:

Reply 2 - Posted by: smoov, 11/1/2002 12:50:48 PM

Now if God had my sense of humor, there would be one heck of a lightning storm focused on the Mall during this "demonstration".

Reply 3 - Posted by: EbenCooke, 11/1/2002 12:50:59 PM

Here's your chance, L-Dotters! You can pray for lightening to strike the crowd!

Reply 4 - Posted by: MsFalconersCabanaBoy, 11/1/2002 12:53:16 PM

I'm sure onlookers will give them plenty of room.

So here we have loving christians praying for the electrocution and death of their fellow citizens who are merely persuring their constitutionally garaunteed right of assembly. Niiiiice.

Reply 7 - Posted by: Cavallodifiero, 11/1/2002 1:00:07 PM

I'd suggest they go to Hell but that would be redundant.

Reply 8 - Posted by: pmahar, 11/1/2002 1:00:31 PM

I am wondering if there is any hope for the future of the human race at all.

No hope if the religionistas have anything to say about it. All that "Jesus is Coming" shit on your bumperstickers is really just a cry for help in ending it all. Isn't it all over as soon as he shows up with his flaming sword? From the tone of a lot of folks, they would relish this idea since they are convinced that they and they alone have the keys to the kingdom and they would then get to watch all those sinners out there burn for not following their twisted brand of "worship". Unless, of course, they chose wrong.

And finally

Reply 12 - Posted by: handk, 11/1/2002 1:10:24 PM

Note to Hamas:

Saturday in Washington would be good....

So what happens on Sunday when it is apparent that fire and brimstone did not rain down on the godless folks in DC? A lot of rationalization, mumblings about god's devine and unknowable plan, and then move on to the next thing to pray about. Fewkin maroons!
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:27

God Loves Me So Much He Turned Me Into a Raving Lunatic

Remember the Capital-Ell Looser who attacked the Kansas City Royals coach Tom Gamboa during a game in September? He is now rotting in jail awaiting trial or sentencing or whatever total vacuum-heads such as himself are forced to endure that us normal folks can not even imagine. Well it seems that now is the time to start throwing blame around:

"I regret what happened," 35-year-old William Ligue Jr. said in Thursday's editions of the Daily Southtown. He added that he doesn't remember much from the bizarre episode.

"If I was in my right state of mind, this would ever have occurred," he said. "I am so sorry for Mr. Gamboa. I disgraced Chicago and myself. I apologize with my heart."

A likely excuse... I don't remember... You would have remembered had he gotten away with it and was able to get back to his loser friends and start doing some boasting.

Ligue's sister, Kimberly Richardson, has said he went into a tailspin after his infant daughter died in May.

"I was going through so much stress," Ligue told the newspaper. "I see on the videotape [that] I was out of my mind. I had to let anger out and it came out that way."

Ligue also said he wants treatment for drug addiction.

"I have a terrible drug problem I cannot control," he said. "I need help."

Well, it was either the death of his daughter, the stress or the drugs. Or maybe the sun was in his eyes (it was a baseball game after all). Or his dog ate his intelligence or he missed his bus or, just possibly, the walking crime scene here is a complete and utter waste of (barely) sentient life?!?

Oh, and here is the kicker:

He called the Sept. 19 incident, "God's way to straighten me out by putting me here."

So god killed your little girl, drove you to insanity and drugs, then marched you right out on that field before thousands of people to commit a felony 'cause he was trying to help you? I guess jail time hasn't increased your connection to reality or added any IQ points.

You, sir, are a loser. That is the root cause of all your troubles. Non-loser people do not engage in the sort of activities that you find fun and exciting. Take responsibility for your actions, stop blaming everyone and everything around you, and grow a pair of testicles and act like a man and not animal. If some judge is so inclined as to let you loose in society, take a shower, get a job, and try and become a human.

And stay away from that god guy. See what happens when you hang around with folks like him (see Job, David, Abraham, and any of the people around the time of the big flood besides Noah)?
posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:47