Corsair the Rational Pirate

Dayum! Who Do These Guys Work For and Can We Get Them on Our Team?

Corsair the Rational Pirate spent some time in the less advertised areas of the US Air Force doing what is euphamistically called "information gathering". It is a tough business but the US is very good at it because we have lots of money. As in billions and billions and billions) of dollars dedicated to doing

nothing more that figuring out what the other team is planning on doing. Satellites, antennas, photos, electronic signals, scraps of garbage, and ESP (for all I know) are all iused to build the big picture so that we don't get surprised by actions by our adversaries. Didn't work too well in the case of the Al Qaeda clowns but I would say we know pretty much all there is to know about pretty much anything we need to know about when it comes to opposing forces".

We were also always warned to keep our mouths shut so that "they" couldn't get the "goods" on us. Where you are stationed, where you are going, when you are coming back, who you are going with, what equipment you are taking, how many are going or coming. Little bits of information here and there can add up to the big picture (as the cheesy videos proclaimed that we were forced to watch once a year in the OPSEC training). "Loose lips sink ships" and all that shit.

So now I read this stuff from the Asian Times and am astonished that they seem to have our whole game plan in place!

The Allied marine fleet in the area includes: the USS George Washington carrier battle group and its associated air wing, escorts and support ships, along with many allied naval ships from numerous countries. The Belleau Wood amphibious ready group (2,200 Marines) is also in the region. The USS Abraham Lincoln carrier battle group left the San Diego area in late July heading for the Arabian Sea area and would be available for operations. The Lincoln��s battle group, includes the carrier itself, Carrier Air Wing 14, USS Shiloh (CG 67), USS Mobile Bay (CG 53), USS Fletcher (DD 992), USS Paul Hamilton (DDG 60) and USS Reuben James (FFG 57) the attack submarine USS Honolulu (SSN 718), and the USS Camden, a combat support ship. The Lincoln��s air wing includes VFA-115, the first F-18E/F Super Hornet squadron to deploy in the Navy.

In addition, at Shaikh Isa Air Base, 20 miles south of the Bahrain capital of Manama, the US Air Force has bombers, tactical fighters and air-refueling tankers in place, with an Air Expeditionary Force (AEF) also likely to be sent there. The AEF might consist of six B-1 bombers, 12 F-15s and 24 F-16s, of which 12 would be F-16CJs, specially equipped with radar-seeking HARM missiles designed to neutralize Iraqi air defenses. The United Kingdom��s RAF Tri-Star refueling tankers are based at the Bahrain airport in support of Southern Watch aircraft.

Contingency plans for an operation in Iraq call for up to 200,000 tons of heavy weapons, support equipment and other supplies afloat in the region on prepositioned ships and 350,000 tons prepositioned ashore throughout the region.

Damn! Is that they kind of shit you can pick up off or Reuters or the AP these days? Shouldn't that kind of stuff be.. I don't know... A SECRET or something?

The only thing I can think of (other than criminally deficient OPSEC) is that WE are giving out all this stuff so as to make our enemies all weak-kneed and turn their bowels into jelly so as to force a soiling of our adversaries pants (or robes or whatever they wear when they ride their camels).

The armaments in this area are stored in 37 warehouses, each averaging 60,000 square feet, in Kuwait and Qatar. Each of those countries holds in storage about 115 M-1A1 Abrams tanks, 60 M- 2A2 Bradley fighting vehicles, 100 armored personnel carriers, 25 mortars and 20 155-millimeter howitzers. Ammunition is stored in both countries, with field artillery rounds in Kuwait. The Kuwait warehouses also hold 30 days' worth of food and fuel. In all, about 9,000 members of the American military are based in Kuwait, including crews for the planes that enforce the no-flight zone over southern Iraq.

The US Army has stockpiled enough equipment in Qatar for at least 5,000 troops of a brigade set, with one mechanized and two armored battalions, as well as equipment for combat service support units. Equipment for another armored brigade from the army and one from the Marine Corps - another 9,000 troops - is afloat on ships in the region.

In early August it was reported that the US Navy was seeking to charter a large roll-on-roll-off ship to carry military helicopters and ammunition from the United States to two ports in the Red Sea. It reportedly would carry about 48,000 square feet of helicopters, ammo and assorted rolling stock. The Military Sealift Command, the agency responsible for shipping the bulk of equipment used during the 1991 Gulf war, also asked for a roll-on-roll-off vessel to discharge at two ports in the Red Sea in late August. It did not reveal which ports, but brokers said that they were most likely to be in Saudi Arabia or Yemen.

The request followed an order for a vessel to carry military hardware covering an area of 38,000 square feet from Europe to the Middle East. The heaviest pieces, at 50 tons each, were probably tanks and armored vehicles. That shipment was also due for discharge in late August at an unspecified Gulf port. Together, the cargo of these ships total approximately 80,000 tons.

How do they know this shit?

We are either leaking like a rusty sieve or this is brilliant Counter Intelligence. I certainly hope it is the latter

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:40

"I Want My MTV" or "Who Cares if the Remote Gets Lost?"

See how all the TVs pictured in this North Korean photo are all on the same channel? Think they do it to look pleasing to the eye? NO! They do it because that is the only channel they have! Nielson ratings? We don't need no stinkin' Nielsen ratings!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:25

I Was Gonna Say That!

Mr. Misha over at rottweiler.blogspot.com does the business on a particularly loathesome dope named Ray Crowley (and no, it is a girl) and her "Let us not judge others" ridiculous attitude. I wanted to say most of the things he already said, but I don't want to waste space on the Internet. I heard it was getting full so I will let Mr. Misha do my talking for me.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:16

Well, We Could Put Them in Abayas...

Who was the rocket scientist who thought of this one? Seems they are sending 140 of the most beautiful women in the world (although I always thought they could use a little less makeup and should dump the silly high heels when wearing swimsuits.... I mean, who wears high heels on the beach?) to Nigeria to compete in the Miss World Pageant.

Hello?! Nigeria! Repressive regime? Stupid islamonazi sharia "law" thing? Hatred and contempt for women? Ring any bells?

Nigeria��s capital is slated to host one of the world��s most glamorous beauty contests in November, but the event is mired in the country��s political tensions. After a Muslim court ruled last week in favor of the stoning death of a Nigerian single mother for having a child out of wedlock, some Miss World contestants have threatened to boycott the event. At the same time, Muslim groups in Nigeria are calling for cancellation of the event, which they describe as a costly and shameful ��parade of nudity.��

I can only say as a red blooded American male that the competition could only be enhanced were it to have a "parade of nudity".

Here is part of what is wrong down there:

It is the second case of a woman facing a possible death sentence in the Muslim court of shariah law but the first appeal to fail. The woman has been granted until her child born out of wedlock has finished breastfeeding before she is executed. In the meantime, her lawyers say she will appeal to a higher court. President Olusegun Obasanjo has expressed his sympathy but decided not to intervene in the case, saying he is confident that the appeal process will result in dismissal of the case.
I don��t think what is going on will lead to her death,�� Obasanjo told reporters. ��Indeed, if it does, which I very much doubt, I will weep for myself, I will weep for Amina and I will weep for Nigeria.��

Hey, weepy boy, here's a tissue! Try not to get your Italian suit all spotty. What a shithead! Try growing a pair and saying something along the lines of "If they touch a hair on this woman's head I will send in the police and the army and my bodyguards to restore a small measure of sanity to those insane assholes!" Now that is the way to respond to sharia addled goat-porkers who would kill a woman for having sex.

Some Muslim groups are outraged that Nigeria is holding the event, particularly because it falls during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan.
��The beauty contest is not only abhorrent and obnoxious but also a mockery of the nation��s conscience, since Nigerians are known to be committed religious people,�� Dahiru Muhammad Argungu, head of the Jama��atul Muslimin group, said in a statement.

Yeah, it would be abhorent and obnoxious if it were your sister up there on the stage, pencil dick. As it is, the women aren't too bad (when they are not trying too hard).

As for "committed religious people" are they the same "committed religious people" who did this:

Hundreds of people lost their lives in communal violence across Nigeria. In late 1999 and early 2000, there were riots in which the Oodua Peoples Congress (OPC), a Lagos-based ethnic militia demanding devolution of power or even independence for the Yoruba southwest of the country, clashed with Hausas living and working in Lagos. A committee of the Lagos State Senate investigated the violence, and found that at least nine policemen, seven OPC members and 163 bystanders had lost their lives, and twelve police stations were burned down. Reports of the planned introduction of Sharia law led to clashes between Muslims and Christians in Kaduna in February 2000 and fresh violence in May. At least 700 people were killed in these disturbances and reprisal killings that followed in southeastern Nigeria, and thousands were displaced. Protracted communal and ethnic violence continued between the Aguleri-Umuleri (Anambra State), Ife-Modakeke (Osun State), and Jukun-Kuteb (Taraba State) communities.

Maybe these religious people should be committed?

��A beauty contest is nothing but a parade of nudity which is against the norms of all religions and morally civilized societies and cultures, as it has a high potential to breed promiscuity.��

Soon as ya'll 14th century types decided to join civilization, give us a call. Until then stick to wiping the shit off of yourself with your hand and calling on a dead addled pated camel herder to kill all the Jews since ya'll muslim types can't seem to do the job yourselves.

��It also shows insensitivity on the part of government to the feelings of Muslims who constituted the majority in this country for the show of shame to be organized during the period of Ramadan fasting,�� he said.

I am sick to death of this Ramadan thing. Can't attack Iraq during Ramadan, can't attack Afghanistan during Ramadan. Wouldn't want to bruise anyone's delicate pysche. Shit. What a bunch of little girls. If you can't take modern society, crawl back into the holes you emerged from and leave the rest of the world alone.

God, I get more sick of these pricks everyday.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:28

Stupid Maroon

This pie-in-the-sky (or whatever evil-tasting, middle-eastern, camel-based concoction this dipwad thinks is delicious) idiot wastes a whole web page saying stupid things like:

I was born and raised here. This is my land. I'll raise my children here, Insha'allah and probably be buried here as well. I knew that by accepting Islam I was declaring that America needed to do so too. America, my home, would naturally become an Islamic country one day. There is no other way to think if you are a truly conscientious believer in Allah.

Keep dreaming, allah boy. What more likely will happen is the middle east stagnates it way to a big fight amongst everyone in the area leaving not enough prophet-believing losers to start a bridge club. This will, of course, not lead to a wholesale conversion of Americans into your pathetic 14th century delusion. Most likely you will end up as an answer on Jeapordy. "What so-called religion which deluded millions of gullible believers was started by a deranged camel herder in the middle east?"

And there is more:

As a quick note, lest multitudes write and complain: The vast majority of Muslims here have chosen to live in non-Muslim neighborhoods; have chosen to live far from the masjid, have chosen to turn their children into neo-kuffar by letting them be indoctrinated by the public school system and have chosen to have non-Muslims as the primary people they come into contact with. If you choose not to actively practice Islam in your daily life, if you choose not to build and Islamic community, then don't display yourself as an ethnic model and say this is what a Muslim should be.

So how's about removing yourself even further from decent people and hitching a plane for Saudi Arabia where you can worship sand and camels to your hearts delight?

How many Muslims have been lost to Islam in the last fifty years here? Tens of thousands have been lost. The only reason Islam is still growing here, by large, is because of a steady stream of immigration. But when that dries up, the assimilation will dwindle our community down to nothing. It's like we have a bucket with a hole in the bottom. We keep pouring new immigrants in, but so many are leaking out are lost forever. (And we're hardly making concerted or intelligent efforts at bringing others to the faith.)

They, unlike you, puss head, have woken up and smelled the freedom. Odd that once they get to America they immediately drop the whole towel and bedsheet fashion thing and move on to being who and what they want to be. And will it really be all that bad if your "community" dwindles down to nothing? Take a vote and get back to me.

And of course, the award for not knowing what he is talking about is awarded for this part:

I've never been to Muslim country before, but I'll tell you this much, I felt as if I were in an Islamic country. And this wasn't Egypt or India or Turkey. It was right here - in America.

Egypt is a despotic dictatorship which likes to arrest and kill the most moslem of ya'll. India is mainly a Hindu country (82% in fact!). Turkey outlaws most of the shit you consider worthwhile to being a deranged muslim.

But the best bit is the link down at the bottom to Courtesy: Islam the Modern Religion Click on it and it takes you to an ad with two people laying in bed kissing and wearing decidedly non-muslim attire! (This may change in the future, but it was what I saw!) Talk about irony.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:51

Boo Hoo Hoo

The soft drink industry (should be the fat drink industry) is getting all steamy eyed at the prospect of losing the ability to pour carbonated sugar water down LA children's throats:

Hoping to combat childhood obesity, the nation's second- largest school district is expected to ban the sale of soft drinks at its 677 campuses.

The sale of soda is already prohibited at elementary schools in the Los Angeles Unified School District, and the school board is set to vote Tuesday to extend the ban to the district's approximately 200 middle and high schools.

"This is the right thing to do for children," said board member Julie Korenstein, one of three co-sponsors. "There is an obesity epidemic in the United States today nationally, and there is a tremendous rise in childhood diabetes."

Normally I gag that the thought that something is being done for "the children" but in this case I will make an exception. Kids are too fat today. Not pleasingly plump. Not full of baby fat. Not big boned. They are fat to a degree that I do not remember seeing in my childhood (no, that wasn't back in the stone age).

Sure we had our resident "big kids" when we were growing up. But there really weren't that many because most of us spent all our time outdoors playing, walking to school, running around the track in gymn class, and not sitting on our incresingly wide behinds dumping chips and soda down our throats. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved to do that some of the time (and I did, occasionally). Wasn't really allowed in my house. AHA! That appears to be what is missing in today's equation. Just because junior whines about wanting chips and soda, dosn't mean you have to give it to him! And what it is with all the sitting around watching tv anyway? Get outside and get some exercise.

"But it is dangerous out there." Bullshit. Kids are safer today that they have ever been in history. Just because a few stories of abduction get widely published does not mean something is happening all over the place. Remember the shark attacks of last year. I seem to remember reading that there were fewer attacks last year than in previous years. It was just the media with nothing to do that publicized them more. And how about West Nile Virus? Are you scared of that? If you are, you are a moron. But just think about some of the recent abduction cases. Some of them happened while the children were inside their houses! So how is keeping juniour fat, dumb and happy down in the basement playing video games any safer? Kick him outside.

That being said, the soda industry is starting to gear up the tear machine:

The motion before the board Tuesday would ban all sales of carbonated drinks during school hours by January 2004. Still permitted would be water, milk, beverages with at least 50 percent fruit juice and sports drinks with less than 42 grams of sugar per 20-ounce serving.

Sean McBride, spokesman for the National Soft Drink Association, criticized the board's proposed action.

"We are being singled out for a very complex problem," he told the Times.

"The one thing you simply cannot ignore in this is the role of a sedentary lifestyle... This is about the couch, not about the can."

This is about both the couch and the can, moron. But you have to start somewhere. Get the sugary soda out of their hands during school and maybe so many nasty worthless calories won't get ingested. Now it is up to the parents to cut back on crappy eating in the home and shutting off the TV once in awhile. See whow they work together?

(Bet you think the Corsair brood is miserable at home in the pirate cave. Well, you would be wrong. Small amounts of TV force them to do something else. Kids are very creative when they want to be.)

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:15

See How Happy We Are?

Look at my plastic flowers! See how happy they make me feel? Not as happy as the real flowers I used to have before I ate them all, but still happy. You can see that, right? Please don't turn me in. I really am happy!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:41

I Already Knew That

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:29

Awwww...

The Blogosphere is good for something afterall.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:07

Yassir Arafat Told Me Where to Find Terrorists!

And I passed that information on to the IDF. I sure hope that those palestinian "militants" don't hear about this little bit of international epsionage. They might take it into their pointy liitle, dust filled heads (that's what happens when you spend the day groveling on the ground with your butt in the air) to take some action against poor misguided Mr. Arafat (at least we can hope they do).

America is condemned from all sides whenever we inadvertently kill a few civilians during a military mission. As an American I feel sorry for what happended and would be more than happy if some of my tax money is spent making the lives of the family of anyone we mistakenly kill better. I know money doesn't make up for everything but it can help those who are now in need because of our actions.

The IDF (as far as I can tell) does not deliberately target civilians. Sometimes civilians are killed while they carry out a military mission (namely: killing terrorists) but I feel the Israelis feel bad when this happens as they revere life as much as we do.

The Paleostinians, on the other hand seem to take great joy in taking the lives of not only the stinkin' Jews but their own people as well!

TULKAREM, West Bank (AP) - The son of the first known Palestinian woman to be killed as an Israeli collaborator said Sunday that Palestinian gunmen tortured him until he invented a story about his mother's involvement in a militant's death.

Ikhlas Khouli, a 35-year-old mother of seven, was shot dead Saturday after being seized from her home in the West Bank city of Tulkarem.

Bakir Khouli, 17, lifted up his T-shirt at his one-room house in Tulkarem on Sunday to reveal black and blue marks he said were made by electrical wires shortly before his mother was killed.

Now, being forced to rat out your mother so she can be killed (even if she really was a collaborator) is pretty harsh. I am sure that various apologists (Amir Butler and the goons over at American Samizdat) will find nothing wrong with this approach since, you know, it is all the Jews fault anyway. Look at all the peaceful Middle East countries where they have kicked out or killed all their Jews and people are able to live lives of freedom and happiness... Oops, can't find any.

The Paleos are not without compassion, however:

Najla'a Khouli, at 18 the eldest of the seven children, broke down in tears when she spoke of her mother, whose body she said she saw in a hospital.

"It was a horrible sight. I would never have imagined that one day I would see my mother like this," she said.

She said the children's father died of an illness eight months ago and that she is engaged to be married and will soon be leaving the family home.

"Who will take care of my brothers and sisters?" she asked.

An Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades leader said his group was forced to "strike with an iron hand" to prevent collaboration with Israel.

"I know that this woman had children but we had no choice. We left her son alive to take care of the children," he said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Asked why his group employed torture, he said: "This is the only way you can get confessions from such people who betray their people."

They had no choice, you see! They had to torture the poor boy (he's young, he'll get over it!) and kill his mother (she was old, she was going to die soon anyway or the Jews would have killed her). Let her kids live with peace and compassion among the animals that tortured their brother and killed their mother. Better than living with the Jews! (See how I can add the Jews to all my sentences even if they aren't related to the story! I am thinking of getting a job with Arab News and I need to practice.)

Oh, wait. Here comes my outrage. These fucking people think they deserve a country? What a bunch of pin headed, terrorist assholes! They would soon do to the rest of the population in the Palestinian controlled areas what they did to this poor woman and then move on to Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Israel. Oops, they have already trashed all those places since 1967. Whatever they touch turns to shit. When have they ever proved that they are advanced enough from their animalistic tendencies to join the human race? Someone find an island these pricks can move to, put them on boats and dump them on the shore, then come back in five years to see if they are done killing each other. It not, I can wait.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:28

OK, This is An Easy One

Each time ignorant buffoons get up on a stage and demand that their religiously inspired view of the world be taught to impressionistic children in a public school I just want to grab them around the neck and ask them why they don't teach that unscientific dreck to their brainwashed Stepford children in church and leave school to teach real stuff?

After an angry debate among parents, Georgia's second-largest school district adopted a policy last night that requires teachers to give a "balanced education" about the origin of life, giving equal weight to evolution and biblical interpretations.

The district, Cobb County, had already come under attack this summer for attaching disclaimers to all science textbooks, saying that evolution "is a theory, not a fact," and should be "approached with an open mind, studied carefully and critically considered." On Wednesday, a parent and the Georgia chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union filed a lawsuit demanding that the disclaimers be removed. Yesterday, they vowed to amend the suit to ask the court to reverse the new policy.

See how they start out all reasonable? Saying things like "approached with an open mind, studied carefully and critically considered"? That is all well and good when it comes to science. But try sayking that when it comes to their small minded view of biblical indoctrination. Since preachers and ministers and churches all know what god wants since they read it in the bible (or the koran or torah or heard it from a burning bush) we wouldn't want any of that teaching to be "critically considered".

Much like this empty headed blowhard:

"To deny there is a God is to stand on a building and deny there is a building," said Russell Brock, who described himself as an insurance salesman and a minister.

No critical thinking needed here! And besides, this guy is an insurance salesman and a minister... There must be a really good joke in there somewhere.

And of course the oh-so-objective "school board" includes such crackpots as the following:

After the vote, Gordon O'Neill, a board member, led his colleagues in a prayer: "Heavenly father, we ask that you provide to all of us a clear understanding of our fellow man and an acceptance of a diversity of thinking. Amen."

Man can't think for himself, has to ask for grandfather in the sky guidance. No confilict of interest there, hmmm?

And in the name of "reasonableness," when will they be teaching the following:

In
the beginning there was an empty darkness. The only thing in this void
was Nyx, a bird with black wings. With the wind she laid a golden egg and
for ages she sat upon this egg. Finally life began to stir in the egg and
out of it rose Eros, the god of love. One half of the shell rose into the
air and became the sky and the other became the Earth. Eros named the sky
Uranus and the Earth he named Gaia. Then Eros made them fall in love.

Long
ago all the elements were mixed together with one germ of life. This germ
began to mix things around and around until the heavier part sank and the
lighter part rose. A muddy sea that covered the entire earth was created.
From this ocean grew a green shoot. It grew and grew until it reached the
clouds and there it was tranformed into a god. Soon this god grew lonely and
it began to create other gods. The last two gods it made, Izanagi anf Izanami,
were the most remarkable.

Long
before the world was created there was an island, floating in the sky,
upon which the Sky People lived. They lived quietly and happily. No one ever
died or was born or experienced sadness. However one day one of the Sky Women
realized she was going to give birth to twins. She told her husband, who flew
into a rage. In the center of the island there was a tree which gave light
to the entire island since the sun hadn't been created yet. He tore up this
tree, creating a huge hole in the middle of the island. Curiously, the woman
peered into the hole. Far below she could see the waters that covered the
earth. At that moment her husband pushed her. She fell through the hole, tumbling
towards the waters below.

People
did not always live on the surface of the earth. At one time people and
animals lived underneath the earth with Kaang (Käng), the Great Master
and Lord of All Life. In this place people and animals lived together peacefully.
They understood each other. No one ever wanted for anything and it was always
light even though there wasn't any sun. During this time of bliss Kaang began
to plan the wonders he would put in the world above.

All of those sound pretty silly, huh? How about the one with the talking snake, apple you can't eat, needing six days to create a world and getting so tired that you had to rest on the seventh (despite being an all-doing super god)? Well, you know something? They all sound silly because they all are silly. They were first promulgated by illiterate farmers and goat herders to try and explain why their lives were such shit. If they were able to make it past childhood they lived a short, brutish life full of pain and misery and death and then they died, often in screaming agony due to diseases, war or famine. If that is all there was to life, why bother? So the people back then made up stories about what came after they finished getting kicked around on earth. Once they were able to pass through the hard parts, they would get to sit around and enjoy things (sorta like birth...) in the presence of someone who would love them and take care of them and smite their enemies in his free time.

Everyone back then had similar stories. That doesn't make any of them correct. You want to teach science to children? Use a science textbook and leave your religious ravings at home.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:13

What Do They See In Him?

So what do all those Swedish Hooker Babes see in this pompadour-haired buffoon?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:43

"Yadda Yadda Yadda"?

I am almost at a loss for words on the "thinking" that this stupid maroon is employing.

He (I am assuming) takes the position that while he is "shocked, simply shocked" that some poor woman is going to be stoned to death for having a child out of wedlock in that slimy Islamonazi country of Nigeria (or at least the part that she is in) it really is all George Bush's fault. I think that is what is being intimated here:

But now, what I would like for you to do, is try and see a connection here. Remember when Laura Bush came out with her support for the poor oppressed women of Afghanistan? A month or so after we started slamming that country with bombs, she piped up about RAWA, and how sad it was that women were so badly treated...yadda yadda yadda. Well, here's the absolute perfect opportunity for the slimy, sneaky administration (oops, i mean ChevronTexaco) to get what they want in Nigeria now.

Again, not only does this pile of excrement not seem to care all that much for the poor Nigerian woman threatened with death by 14th century Islmaic assholes, he dismisses the years of horrible suffering visited upon the women of Afghanistan by OTHER 14th century empty headed goat herders with a simplistic "yadda yadda yadda". Gee, what a compasionate fellow. Seems to be some kind of "he man woman hater" to me. Whatever it takes to link Bush to atrocities commited by "his" side is OK. Sounds a lot like the Paleostinian answer to every accusation made against them, "It is all the Jews fault that we blow up their grandmas and children".

I just hope his mother does not see what sort of misogynistic piece of shit he has become.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:15

Can You Really Trust a Guy Named "Toon"?!

It appears that Elvis is on the same wavelength as The Virgin Mary. Both of them are able to weep tears through inanimate objects. It must be true because "Toon" says so:

Deurne, Netherlands - A plaster bust of Elvis Presley wept "miracle" tears on Friday on the 25th anniversary of his death, its Dutch owner said.

The 50-year-old professional Elvis impersonator in the small town of Deurne in the southern Netherlands also said the ghost of the King of Rock n' Roll appeared in his house last week.

So, does this mean that this buffoon is faking it or that all the "Virgin Mary Weeping Statue" people or the "Jesus on my Tortilla" losers are faking it? If religious people can beleive in the latter they must believe in the former... Right?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:03

The Pork Skins Man?

I have returned from camping. I am not a prolific camper but I have done it in a variety of places over the years: California, Minnesota, Nevada, and now Virginia. Never before have I equated camping with christmas lights and pork skins. Turns out that here in Virginia when one goes camping, it is not unexpected for one to bring one's christmas lights to afix to one's camping gear. Our neighbors in front and in back of us (along with several others) were thusly decorated. Quite the festive mood Cletus and Ellie mae had created.

That leads me to my second point. Eddie Murphy did a comedy routine about "The Ice Cream Man" many years ago. That I understood. Never in all my born days on several continents and in many states, however have I had the pleasure of making an

acquaintance of the "Pork Skins Man". We were sitting peacefully in our camping area Friday when we were assaulted with "Battle Hymn of the Republic", "Amazing Grace", and other distorted musical attention grabbers. Fearing a second War Between the States I jumped up ready to head for the hills (being basically a Yankee) only to discover that the aforementioned sonic distortion was coming out of the speakers on a "Cotton Candy, Snow Cone, Pork Skin" truck. Yes, a truck devoted to delivering deep fried pig skins to my door. I suppose it requires too much effort to actually lift my fat, tattooed butt off the living room couch and go down to the Piggly Wiggly and get my own damn pork skins. So now capitalism has arrived with a cure for my "pork skin munchies" when I am ensconced in the big game on tv: Pork Skin Delivery. Who woulda thought?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:52

Camping This Weekend!

The Corsair Brood is headed off to commune with nature this weekend. I'll let you know what the great outdoors is like when I get back.

Meanwhile, take another look below at Amn Dobos.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:51

MMMMMMMMMMM.... In-N-Out Burger!

Article in the increasingly irrelevant New Yawk Times today about a west Coast Cultural Icon, In-N-Out Burger. If you have never had the pleasure off partaking in that particular California institiution, you need to get yourself a plane ticket out to LA and try one now. They make something called the Double Double that is to die for:

The In-N-Out menu offers four items: hamburger, cheeseburger, Double- Double burger and fries. (That Double Double, at 670 calories and 41 grams of fat, is basically a coronary thrombosis on a gently toasted bun.) But patrons can customize the burgers, by adding or subtracting toppings like pickles, tomatoes and grilled onions. They can even eliminate the meat altogether.

I used to drive from San Jose to Fresno (about 2 hours) to do some work at a remote site of the company I was working for then. The highlight of the trip was lunch. The San Francisco Bay Area did not have any In-N-Out Burger places at the time and so if you wanted one of these delicious meals you had to travel to Fresno (normally not a haute cuisine magnet). I even volunteered to go to Fresno a couple of times just to have lunch. I was sick, I admit it. Moving to the East Coast has cured me of my In-N-Out Urge since they have nothing out here that even comes close to the perfection that is the Double Double. Yum Yum.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:32

OK, There is Something Wrong With the Words "52-year old prostitute"

I don't think there is anything wrong with people making a living as they see fit. Even such a living as prostitution. One person has something to sell and another person has something to buy. The essence of captialism. But, c'mon! 52-years old?

Paris -- Sonia, 40, has been a prostitute on St.-Denis street for the better part of two decades, and she's seen a lot of changes. But what worries her these days is the increasing number of new faces on the block -- Middle Easterners, Africans and especially East Europeans, all coming here for a piece of the action.

"They have no idea what they're doing," Sonia said angrily. "They take anybody, anywhere. I mean, it's dirty and it's not safe working that way. Most of the murders committed are among them. And apart from that, we pay taxes for the job we do, and they don't. All their money is for the pimp."

Alice, a 52-year-old prostitute nearby, agreed. "These women don't respect the prices," she said. "They are taking clients for much less money. This is more than unfair competition!"

There are no pictures in this story so I can only assume that these Gradma-tutes look kinda like... Grannies! Are there guys out there that desperate to get their pole waxed that they need to do the nasty (and at this point it is pretty nasty) with someone who was around during the Eisenhower administration? Even if the Johns were around during Ike's reign, I would assume that when it was time to "get busy" they would like to try out a newer model.

This is France, however. Normal rules of behavior do not apply.

52-years old. Eww.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:01

SUNW Update!

Ha! All you doubting Thomases! I am now swimming in big stock market dollars thanks to my purchase of Sun Microsystems a few weeks ago! I bought at $3.85 and it is now at $4.44 An impressive gain of 15.32 percent in only 10 days. That is an annualized gain of 559.18 percent! So my $100 investment will be worth $55,918 in only a few short months!

I am off to order my new car, suckers!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:29

Girls With Guns II or Islamonazi Nightmare!

What the Islamonazis seem to fear most is a strong woman. If they can't lock them up at home wearing sack cloth and ashes and make them bow to their every demand, they beat them with sticks or rape and kill them. That is why we in civilization love this sort of thing.

Go get them, Vanessa!

Airman Vanessa Dobos of the 58th Training Squadron poses with a Gatling gun at Kirtland Air Force base in New Mexico August 7, 2002Dobos is to become the first woman aerial gunner in the USAF, with an assignment to a search and rescue Pave Hawk helicopter, when she graduates from technical training in a few weeks, performing a combat duty that was formerly closed to women. REUTERS/U.S. Air Force photo by Dennis Carlson

Here is a MUCH bigger picture for those of you who are as enamored of Amn Dobos as I am!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:43

More? You Want M O R E?

Some of the snivelling pigs that used to be Enron executives have decided that their inflated salaries in the last months of train wreck that is Enron weren't enough! They are crawling their way into court to ask the judge for some more money pretty please. This whore, for example:

Among those who opted out of the tentative agreement is Rebecca Carter, a former senior vice president who married Skilling in March and received more than $477,500 in payments and stock in the year leading up to Enron's collapse. Carter is now asking for $875,000 more, according to bankruptcy court filings.

"Gee, Judge, I have to buy some more panty hose and bleach for my hair!" What the hell kind of big spending, big haired, big fake boobs, big loser is this? I guess she is suffering because the $447,500 wasn't enough to keep her in Perrier showers.

She is not the only loser however:

David Cox, a former executive at Enron's high-speed Internet subsidiary, is seeking $1.1 million from his former employer after receiving $1.1 million in the year before Enron's collapse.

Keith Dodson, a former executive in Enron's engineering and construction subsidiary, wants $210,000. Dodson received $319,941 in the 12 months before Enron's collapse.

Charles Garland, a former managing director, is asking for $892,000. He received $1.6 million before Enron's demise.

John Sherriff, the former president of Enron's European operations, asked for $1.65 million. He received $4.3 million in pay and stock before the collapse.

My capacity for outrage has reached its limit! Watch out! It's gonna blow!!!!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:56

He Spelled it Wrong, But We Get The Point

Lileks does a small bit on Jennifer Connelly (which he spelled incorrectly, I might add). I myself have always been enamored of Miss Connelly's beauty... OK, I admint I was hot for this luscious dame! She was, in my estimation, the hottest chick in film (and my estimation is really the only one that mattered, right?). But has taken it upon herself to try and shrink the things that made her different. Namely her fantastico bod. Round and shapely. Not like the stick figure Jennifer Anistons of today who think they can't be more than 100 pounds. Let's us look at a few pics, shall we, to prove my point:

Just one problem here. She went from cute to hot to voluptuous to skinny and wierd looking all in a few years. Dayum! What the hell happened? At least I am not the only one to notice this desecration of what should be a national treasure.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 07:46

Here is Something to Wrap Your Lips Around

The story is not worth the energy it takes for the pixels to show up on your screen:

1,000-member declaration published in S. Korea

Pyongyang, August 11 (KCNA) -- The Catholic Measure Committee For the Correct Solution Of the Case Of Killing of Schoolgirls By the U.S. Armored Car reportedly issued a 1,000-member declaration on Wednesday demanding the just settlement of the case. The declaration charged that the U.S. Forces' side took an arrogant attitude towards the demand for the transfer of jurisdiction, asserting that the accident occurred while GIs were on duty and there was no precedent of giving up jurisdiction. It accused the Defense Ministry and the prosecution authorities of south Korea of supporting the stand of the U.S. Forces.
Noting that this behaviour clearly indicates the growing inequality and master-servant relations between the U.S. and South Korea, the declaration demanded the U.S. and the south Korean authorities totally revise the shackling status of forces agreement.

But the acronym is. This declaration seems to comes from the:

CMCFCSOCOKSBUSAC

This, of course creates all kinds of anagram opportunities... most of them rather risque!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:01

Dudes, The Yellow Raincoat Thing is So Over

You might look a little more fierce in your opposition to evil American Imperialism and the grinding down of the 5000-year old Korean culture by the hegemonic culture killers of the West if you weren't wearing little yellow raincoats and floppy fishing hats!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:44

This is the Country Where all the Children are Starving?

If so, may I suggest that some of these overstuffed popinjays with the silly belts o' splosive skip a few meals and hand them over to their children:

You'll notice that the "sticks o' TNT" are a lot more spaced out on these rotund fellows as they had to s t r e t c h the belts to get them to go round their bellies overstuffed from famine... Or some such Human Rights Watch nonsense talk.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:22

Ha Ha! Origami... Boulder! Ha Ha Ha!

Now that I have finished spitting my lunch all over my keyboard, you must too. Go to this site. Now!

Q: Origami boulder? Aren't you talking about a wadded up piece of paper?

A: Yes dumb dumb! I already explain this at beginning. Why you too lazy to read first before you ask obvious question like this? People on Internet not very smart.

Q: Is this some kind of a joke?

A: You want joke? Look in mirror, you ugly person! This site real. You order wadded paper origami boulder and see for yourself.

This very nice artwork that come with card and make good gift for your friend. Your friend never forget you when you send fine art gift like this! I am famous Internet artist, so original wadded paper origami art become VERY VALUABLE some day. Especially haiku version, because it is double artwork.

I repeat -- site is real, artwork is real. You order origami boulder and it comes in mail and you enjoy it.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:44

Cultural Gap? More Like the Cultural Grand Canyon!

Oh the poor Paleostinians have gone and been oppressed by the Jews once again. They were so oppressed they were forced to shoot a retarded rape suspect while an international group of journalists was sitting around waiting for a cabinet meeting to begin. Damn Jews!

Suddenly two policemen in plainclothes emerge from the prison. One of them is "embracing" a young, bearded men dressed in jeans and a white T shirt. The young man's face is badly swollen and it looks as if he needs to see a dentist immediately.

"Well, we know he was guilty, 'cause after we got done beating him he confessed!" Gee, where is Human Rights Watch when you need them?! Oh yeah, they are still out there on the front lines complaining about the UN's Jenin report:

"The report doesn't move us forward in terms of establishing the truth," said Hanny Megally, executive director of the Middle East and North Africa Division of Human Rights Watch. "Its watered-down account of the very serious violations in Jenin exposes the risk of compiling a report without any first-hand information."

Remember, this is the same UN that hates the Jews and everything having to do with Israel. They managed to say that nothing happened there but HRW can't seem to get it into their pointy little skulls.

Meanwhile back in Hell (that would be "Palestine") the journalists get to see the sort of people they are defending in the media against the evil, blood-drinking Jews:

What happened next is hard to describe. The "suspect," in his early twenties, was blindfolded and made to stand against a wall. Three policemen standing about three meters away sprayed him with bullets from their rifles. He was hit in the head and chest and fell to the ground. One of the policemen then walked up to him and fired one more shot into his head. "Take him away," came the order from another police officer.

I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing. The executioners did not notice that I was watching. When the rest of the journalists heard the shots they rushed towards the area to see what was happening. Some thought that Israeli soldiers had stormed the compound.

Nervous policemen charged at the cameras and reporters and ordered them to leave the area.

See! They heard bullets and automatically assumed that it was them damned Jews attacking again. Did it not once cross their minds that whilst in the midst of a terrorist camp (Arafat's compound) that maybe someone was shooting in the air to celebrate another terrorist attack in New York or Jerusalem? Or that it was some terrorists inflicting a little street justice on some captured Jew soldiers or Paleostinian collaborators? Do they not know that they are smack dab in the middle of terror central? Stupid journalist dupes.

Then we get the fool Swede, Klaus:

Klaus Lofgren, the Middle East correspondent for a Swedish TV station who was standing only a few meters away from the site, was still in shock even after we arrived back in Jerusalem. "This is a surrealistic experience," he said. "To execute someone in a place where the representatives of the world media are standing and where the cabinet is meeting is unprecedented. I have never heard of a case like this and it shows the cultural gap between the Palestinian society and most of the world."

And it also shows the air gap between your left and right ear. What the hell did you expect?

Arrrr. Corsair is in a surly mood today!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:00

Oooh The Pain!

Turns out the network has been hosed up all day here. I was not able to get to my blog. Withdrawal symptons had just begun when the net-don't-work began to work. Yea for me!

Now, let's find something to write about.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:32

Fool Me Twice

I couldn't stand it anymore. I kept fighting it and fighting it and today something broke and I went ahead and pushed the button. Corsair the Rational Pirate is now a miniority owner (a very very small minority owner) of Sun Microsystems Incorporated (SUNW). I picked up 100 shares at the ridiculously low price of $3.85 a share.

The adventure begins now. Watch with me as my life savings of $385 either grows me into the level of Financial Guru (with all the yachts, ascots, and penthouse apartments that come with such a title) or sends me back to my favorite highway underpass to wile away the hours picking fleas out of my hair and commiserating with my fellow "hobos".

If I strike it rich I promise to keep updating this blog. As if anyone cares.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:50

Well, Duh, What Took You So Long?

In the "Obvious Charge of the Day" category we have:

Prosecutors said Monday that they will seek the death penalty against the man accused of killing 5- year-old Samantha Runnion, who was dragged away from a playmate by a man who asked for help in finding his puppy.

If they can prove this guy did it they should take him right out back and finish him off, like that other abducter/rapist shithead who got"offed" the other day.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:35

*Urk* *Ack* *Splutter* Irrational Moron-O-Meter Going Critical!

Seems that even GI Joe - usually one of the good guys - can't sneak his weaponry on board an airplane now that the crack Airport Inspectors are on the job. This story says:

Security chiefs at Los Angeles airport said: ��We have instructions to confiscate anything that looks like a weapon or a replica.

"If GI Joe was carrying a replica then it had to be taken from him."

Notice the use of the phrase "it had to be taken from him." Like the "him" in question was a real person trying to sneak his arsenal of killing tools through the unsuspecting airport personnel.

Let me just let Mr. Security Chief in on a little secret: GI Joe is just a toy! And the 2-inch weapon he carries probably won't be used to take over any airplanes! Although, now that all the plastic utensils have been removed this may, in fact, be the only thing you can hijack a plane with.

Remember, if all the 2-inch guns are outlawed, only the two-inch outlaws will have guns... Or something like that.

Stupid jerk.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:01

Quick, Check Your Cellphone!

Brian over at Grotto11 is in rare form this morning. Unless you are the idiot upon whom he is venting his spleen:

Then I will seek out every person who has ever made a call to someone's cell phone, when the recipient of the call was in the middle of a heartfelt, involved, or otherwise valuable personal conversation with another person in real life, just so that the caller could say, in that hideous whining wheedling voice of piteous sycophancy, "What'cha dooooooooIN'?" And I will take each phone from each such caller, and I will reprogram it so that when he tries to dial any number, it will instead play back a detailed verbal description of the Persian Boat Torture-- the one that involves strapping someone naked and covered with honey onto a boat floating in the middle of a swamp full of hatching mosquitoes and flies, under the blazing sun, so that the person dies under the torment of about fifteen different horrific forms of pain that are otherwise undescribable in any kind of polite company. And just to be extra cruel, I'll put it on a randomizer so that one in ten calls, instead of the Persian Boat Torture, the caller gets a recording of William Shatner's "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" or Leonard Nimoy's "Bilbo Baggins".

Ouch!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:13

No, Creature of the Night, Bite Me!

Normally I spend a lot of time on religious whackos, North Korean deluded morons, or politicians (really, do you need any more scorn than "politician"?). Now I find I need to let the enrage-o-meter crank on this stupid loon:

A British teenager has been jailed for 12 years for murdering his elderly neighbour and drinking her blood in a vampire ritual.

Vampire-mad art student Mathew Hardman, 17, cut out Mabel Leyshon's heart after stabbing her 22 times at her home in Llanfairpwll, North Wales, last November.

Dude, get a grip! Vampires are make believe! Like Noah, the Worker's Paradise, and honest politicians. And how did goth-boy think he was going to achieve immortality as a vampire?

He sliced the 90-year-old's chest open and cut her heart out before wrapping the blood-soaked organ in newspaper and placing it next to two pokers arranged in the shape of a crucifix at her feet, the court was told.

Hardman put the heart into a saucepan containing the pensioner's blood and drank the blood -- believing the ritual would make him immortal, the jury heard.

OK, ick factor is waaaaay up on this one. You can see the mouse in his little wheel getting tired up in this maroon's head. He did appear to have a plan, at least. It wasn't a good plan, but at least it was a plan.

Hardman, who had turned 17 only a few weeks before the murder, had already dropped a chilling hint of what was to come during a conversation with a teenage German girl student, who was on an exchange visit to Llanfairpwll, the court was told.

He told her that he believed it was "a perfect place for vampires" because there were a lot of old people there, and if any of them died after being bitten it would be assumed that they had had a heart attack.

So why was it you ripped granny's heart out and left it at her feet? Thought the police wouldn't be able to tell the difference between that and a heart attack?

Officer #1: Gee, Inspector Sergeant...
Officer #2: That's Seargeant Inspector!
Officer #1: Right, Sergeant Inspector. Sorry to have called you away from tea and biscuits for this.. It appears to be an heart attack.
Officer #2: Bloody hell. You dragged me away from the cricket match for an 'eart attack? How d'you know that is what it is?
Officer #1: Well, her heart's down there by her feet and you can see that it is not in the best of shape, Segeant Inspector. Full of fat and cholesterol.
Officer #2: Righto. Put it all in a bag and send it round to the hospital. Crumpet?
Officer #1: Don't mind if I do, sah!

So in the process of nabbing this vamp perp, he gets all in their face and:

Police were called and as an officer handcuffed Hardman he repeatedly yelled "bite my neck, bite my neck."

No, blood boy, bite my ass!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:15

I Pray That I Won't Have to Keep reading This Stuff

So on Opinion Journal today we have Dr. Ward, an Anglican priest getting all mystical and mysterious when it comes to prayer and god:

Among those who have taken such a view of prayer are William James, A.N. Whitehead and a host of theologians who see God as the ultimate causal basis of an organic, emerging and evolving universe. If that spirit resonates with the thoughts and feelings of finite creatures, it would be strange indeed if the universe were not affected in particular ways by those thoughts and feelings.

I am not sure what he wrote here. Something about the universe being god and how our spirits can change things... or something. But earlier he asked the following questions:

The other is that the whole process seems morally arbitrary. Why does God save some people and not others? If God can save some, why doesn't he save all? We never read that God is to be credited with the unhappy fates of the less fortunate victims of disasters. Isn't that a little odd, or at least asymmetrical?

He goes on to answer that the miners were helped by prayer because... enough people prayed really hard and woke god up and god fiddled with something in the universe which saved the men. I think. But he still doesn't explain why god picks and chooses which events to make a change. Lots of people pray for one thing (rain, child trapped in well, winning the lottery, Samantha Runion) and nothing comes of it. Other times people pray for things (miners, that little girl who escaped the kidnappers, Reagen recovering from shooting) and it seems to work. Why does prayer work in some instances and not others (my answer, as if you didn't know is that it never works and that sometimes good things happen and sometimes bad things happen).

Then in the response section we get a bunch of religious types taking Dr. Ward to task for being an obtuse blowhard (which he kinda is in the nicest sense).

In response to Dr. Ward's article on the miners' prayers, I have to say ?huh? He identifies himself as an "Anglican priest," but has he ever read the Bible? You know, the Bible actually talks about a personal, living God. God conforms us to His will, not the other way around. Also, what's this talk about "cosmic mind," and an "organic, emerging, and evolving universe?" It sounds like Dr. Ward has been watching too much "Oprah."

Good one, dude. But then we get:

Did the miners benefit from prayer? Absolutely. Unquestionably. Truth. Imagine a scenario where no one prayed. Essentially we would leave the outcome to fate. If that was all there was, the motivation to succeed would cease to exist and the miners would likely have committed suicide rather than suffer the wait. One may notice that the lack of motivation is linked to a lack of faith, faith in anything - not just God. So, we realize how foolish it is not to pray.

THIS is what I like about religious people. They are so locked into one way of thinking (the way that their priest told them to think) that they can't imagine living life any other way. All right, let's imagine a scenario where no one prayed:

Miner #1: Think we will ever get out of here?
Miner #2: Well, I bet they are up there right now trying to drill their way down to us and get us out. That is what I would be doing if my buddies were trapped in this here mine and I wasn't.
Miner #1: So, you wanna kill yourself?
Miner #2: NO! You stupid ass! I will wait here conserving my energy until the highly trained rescue people dig my ass out of here.
Miner #1: So that means you are leaving it all to fate?
Miner #2: If I wasn't conserving my energy, I'd whap you upside the head with that crossbeam. Of course we are not leaving it all up to fate! That would mean that we would be waiting for an earthquake to crack open the ground and shove us out. Or a meteor to come crashing down at the exact perfect point above our heads so as to pulverise all the dirt and rocks above us allowing us to escape. No, you moron I am leaving it all up to the rescue people who are trained and equipped to get us out.

The motivation that drove the rescuers is the same one that makes the military work. Slogans and speeches and flags and governments and countries are all good things. But what motivates the troops in the battlefield is not any of those (except peripherally). Soldiers get motivation from their buddies. It is all about "you watch my back and I will watch yours". You are fighting for your unit. If that helps the outcome of the war, fine. But that is not your main motivation.

What drove the rescuers was the knowledge that the rescuers would want their buddies to come after them if they had been in an accident of some kind. "Leave no man behind" is not just a slogan. You have to know that you would do for your buddy what you want him to do for you. Standing around praying isn't achieving anything, strapping on your gear and doing is what gets the job done.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:12

Well, Damn! I Thought I'd Get a Personal Reply!

I expressed my displeasure to the Whitehouse over Bush's recent wimpy "I am furious but we have to give peace a chance" comments after the deaths of five Americans in Israel yesterday. This is what I got back:

Unfortunately, because of the large volume of email received, the President cannot personally respond to each message. However, the White House staff considers and reports citizen ideas and concerns.

WHAT? He doesn't answer his own mail? Why is he hiding behind his flunkies? He got something he doesn't want to let slip? Afraid I will get all kinds of state secrets out of him with my withering e-mail presence? I think there should be an investigation!

I didn't vote for the guy (and no, I didn't vote for Gore either) but at least he could answer his mail. Sheesh.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:24

Two Teens Are Back Safe...

Various reports coming out of shooting the suspect and finding the girls. It is great that they were not molested and killed and I hope the evil doer really was killed.

That being said... These girls were 16 and 17 years old. They were abducted on some hick town lover's lane. It was 2 am. In the morning. What the hell was a 16 year old girl doing out on lover's lane at 2 am?

The above is the "lane" in question is really a dusty hill in the middle of nowhere.

As you can see from the overhead shot I got using the Corsair Copter.

Now I may already be an old fuddy duddy (and just a little bit snarky), but I don't plan on letting either of the Corsair Princesses out of the house during the daylight... Let alone at night until 2 am! Any sex crazed, drugged up, anarchy-loving, pierced, attidude-filled young punk who looks twice at one of mine is sure to feel the wrath of the Pirate part of "Rational Pirate". So don't even think about it!

Hopefully there will be a few more parents who think like that in the near future.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:38