Corsair the Rational Pirate

Cal Thomas is a Raving Religious Loony

This from tapped.

Cal Thomas has got his dandruff up about the Pledge of Allegiance thing. He starts his column with "One Nation Under Who". Well, let me be the first to propose that we are "One Nation Under All" or "One Nation Under Lots of Hard Working People of All and No Faith". I don't remember the US being created out of the mud for Adam and Eve to cavort in while God drops highways, factories, schools and 7-Elevens down on them. We didn't get where we are today by sitting around praying for God to do something to make our lives better. The people who were born here and came here from all parts of the globe worked damn hard every day to make this country what it is. And they still do and still God does not bless us with infrastructure miracles. "But God put the ideas in people's heads" you might say. So what. Someone still has to go out and build the stuff that people think up.

Here is where Cal jumps off into the deep end without his water wings:

On the eve of our great national birthday party and in the aftermath of Sept. 11, when millions of us turned to God and prayed for forgiveness of individual and corporate sins and asked for His protection against future attacks, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco has inflicted on this nation what many will conclude is a greater injury than that caused by the terrorists.

Oh, I see. The judges in SF have now caused more than 3,000 people to lose their lives, untold billions of dollars to be lost in buidings and earnings and created unimaginable suffering for tens of thousands. Wow. I must have missed that part after the ruling. You would think a newspaper or the tv news guy would have picked right up on that.

WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT! Taking two words out of the pledge of allegiance that were inserted a mere 48 years ago will not cause the collapse of Western Civilization. If Cal finds it impossible to get through the day without dropping to his knees to kiss god's ass, good on him. Don't think the rest of us need to resort to that kind of thing. He wants to be all religious? Fine, go to church.

And on another point. Asking for God's protection against future attacks is sorta like closing the barn door after the terrorists have knocked down the buildings, is it not? Where was he last September? Or was Falwell et. all. correct in saying we are such sinners that God lifted his hand and let all them people die. This is the guy we are suppose to be pledging allegiance to? He sounds like a mob boss! He is either useless in stopping attacks or he encouraged the wackoes that did it. I don't want my country allied with such a being.

Then Cal resorts to Christians v. Lions mode:

I predict this ruling will not stand, even if the U.S. Supreme Court upholds it. If upheld on appeal, it will turn millions of Americans into lawbreakers, because they'll continue to say the Pledge of Allegiance, just as many continue to pray before school athletic contests in violation of court prohibitions.

He is attempting to say that people praying in the stands will soon be dragged off in chains for appealing to God to help their team beat that other Godless team on the other side of the field (while the Godless on the other side are doing the same thing). But no one has ever said that someone can't pray! You can't have the school leading the prayer, you moron! You want to wiggle around, speak in tongues, flagellate yourself with scented palm fronds, and generally make a fool of yourself asking God to rain down plagues of frogs on the other football team, go ahead. Just allow me the opportunity to point and laugh while you are doing it.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:25

Corsair's Enrage-O-Meter™ is Starting to Peg!!

First we take a gander at this lovely woman:

What's that, you say? Can't tell it is a woman?! Could be Elvis? Or Big Bird? Or Osama? Well, that is the whole problem here. Down there in Florida we have a self centered, religio-nut who thinks that she should have the final say on how Florida law is interpreted.

A Muslim woman who says the state is violating her religious rights in demanding that she remove her veil for a driver's license photograph will be in court this week to try to regain her driving privileges.

Seems pretty straightforward to me. Take the friggin' bag off your head, shit-for-brains, and have the picture taken. But no!!! I am so special and I need special treatment! Faugh (as people used to say for some reason) on that!

Now we are supposed to cry for her:

"This is a stress on my entire family," said Ms. Freeman, who is married and has a 1-year-old daughter. "It's an inconvenience every day. I can't run simple errands like go to the post office or the grocery store. I can't go visit friends and family. It's certainly a disruption to our life."

Even so, Ms. Freeman said: "I am fighting for the principle and the religious freedom of all people in this country. It's not all about me."

Of course it is all about you, you hag! Didn't it ever occur to you that the people in the post office and the grocery store are dancing little jigs of joy that they now don't have to see your Hefty Lawn And Garden Bag coverered self creeping over their thresholds anymore? Saw one of these covered up women at the Wal Mart a couple of weeks ago. Creeped me right out. What have you got to hide? Are you sooooo hot that no man could control himself in your presence? Well, let me tell you something, the men in this country are not 14th century camel herders who can not control their loins. You could walk down the street in a bikini and except for a few people calling animal control to wonder whether something had escaped from the zoo, no on would pay you any mind.

The stupidity is not the sole province of this hag-in-a-bag, however:

"Are we suggesting that it's O.K. for any police officer to stop her and require her to remove her veil just so she can be identified?" said Randall Marshall, legal director in the Miami office of the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida, which is helping to represent Ms. Freeman.

That is what the state demands, said Robert Sanchez, public information administrator for the Florida Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles. "Otherwise, it would be pointless to have photographs."

Good comeback from the Public Information Admin! What was Mr. ACLU thinking (or not thinking)? Does he not have a license? Is there not a photo on it? Does it not in some way resemble his obvious low forheaded, one eyebrowed, mouth breathing self? Say this "woman" (we have to take that on faith as we can't see her!) needs to get a passport so she can make her pilgramage to Mecca to walk around that big silly rock. Do you really think the US Passport office is going to let her get away with this whole veil thing? "Sure, missy, lets just put a picture of the Frito Bandito on your Passport since you don't want us to take your picture". Shaaaa, I say!

Oh, but it gets better!

He said the state's argument that "safety concerns" demanded full facial photos was "bogus," in part because his client had offered to provide fingerprints, DNA or other information that could be used to verify her identity.

He said his client should not be subjected to unreasonable restrictions simply because of her religion.

Fingerprints? DNA? So she gets pulled over for driving like the wacko that she is and the officer says "I am sorry ma'am, I am going to have to see your DNA." What?!?! "Let me swab your mouth and don't move for the next week while I run it by the boys in the lab". Is he frigging serious!?!?

And the capper is that this "reputed woman" has in fact only gone over to the darkside in the last five years!

According to the Orlando Sentinel, Ms. Freeman is a 34-year old former Pentecostal from the Midwest who converted to Islam five years ago with her husband. Her lawsuit is being supported by the American Civil Liberties Union.

So for the first 29 years of this ingrates life people were seeing her on the street every day! It is just now that she has "gotten religion" as they say that no one is allowed to look on her lovlieness.

Pig! Run ya off to Arabia if you want to so badly be like them. You live in our country, you play by our rules.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:07

Corsair the Angry Pirate's Exercise in Futility

It probably isn't good for my blood pressure, but I have to comment on some pin-headed stupidity recently vomited forth from North Korea (my translation follows the original comment):

The "Tongil Shinbo" (Unification News), a weekly newspaper North Korea publishes for Korean residents abroad, asserted on June 8 that the South ought to support the strengthening of the North's military power. In an article, entitled "The One- sided Handout Theory Is Again Criticized," the weekly maintained that Pyongyang's military-first politics greatly loves the country and nation, safeguarding peace on the peninsula and protecting the South Korean people also.

So, the North is running a little protection racket and it wants the South to play along. Sort of like the time 52 years ago when Kim Il Sung sent Luigi and the boys around to break a few things in South Korea. You see what a pain that was. Well, why don't we dispense with all the unpleasentness and just get right to the brass knuckles... er, tacks, I mean. Since the North loves you so much, you should mayne recriprocate by sending along a few simoleans once in awhile to keep everyone happy! And in the meantime, we will keep the Evil Americans, Japanese, and Cylons from Battlestar Galactica away from you.

"North-South Korea relations are relations not between countries, but between brethren of the same nation sharing blood ties, which are inseparable, being destined to become one in the future. In such inter-national relations, from the outset no word such as one-sided handout should be mentioned. Between members of the same nation sharing the same ancestors, one can mention helping each other, but how could they mention handing out one- sidedly?

We share more that bloody ties, we have knives, bullets and bloody rocks too! Just because you in the South will have to spend one trillion dollars to rebuild our pathetic little country, let's not call it handout. How's about calling it a loan! We promise to pay it back next Tuesday as we have a money order coming in the post.

If the South is to assume the right stance on behalf of the nation, it essentially ought to support the strengthening of the North's military power unsparingly. The North's military-first politics greatly loves the country and nation, eventually safeguarding the peace of the nation and protecting the people of the South as well.

Yeah, hand over the dough and we will protect you from your biggest enemy... Us! We love the country, and our Southern Countrymen (and women too! We saw that picture down there on corsair's site! Woo Hoo!), and your houses, and cars, and big screen TVs. There isn't anything about you that we don't love. Except them Americans.

The situation on the Korean Peninsula is more perilous than ever before. Fortunately, no war has broken out, or rather, the United States has failed to wage a war. Not because the United States is concerned about the catastrophe the South Koreans would suffer, but because of the North's military might cemented under the military-first politics. It is the North's superb military power that has thwarted a war the United States might have wished to wage on this land ten times; and that has safeguarded peace on the Korean Peninsula."

See! Look around you! You don't see an elephant in the room do you?!? That is because the Dear Leader Kim Jong Il has, through on the spot guidance and his natural genius given to him by heaven, created Elephant Deterent! That will show those lousy Americans!

In conclusion, gives your money or the country gets it. Got it?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:23

Wacky Sentence Contest

I defy you to come up with a wackier opening sentence to a story than this:

LONDON (Reuters) - An Alaskan chicken-hypnotist who cycles around the world with a traveling circus has ground to a halt after a charity clothes shop in Scotland sold her bicycle by mistake while she was in the fitting-room.

BZZZZZZZT! So sorry, you can't! The preceding words should never be considered as acceptable all in the same sentence.

But there you are.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:20

I Don't Want to Become the Next Unablogger...

But I just got mail alerting me to this tasty picture:

Let's hear it for Soccer in Korea! (Is this the average South Korean soccer fan?)

Can't wait for next time!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 15:02

Imagine This...

It is being reported that 7 million South Koreans were out in the streets watching their loss to Germany in the World Cup Semifinals.

If that had happened in the US, there would be approximately 43 million Americans out on the streets cheering and partying and watching big screens on street corners. I find it hard to imagine 43 million Americans getting together for any reason, let alone a soccer team, and cheering at the top of their lungs for hours in the heat and humidity in June.

Congratulations for a good run, South Korea. See you in four years in Germany.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:31

More Religious Wackiness!

Sit back folks and see what the wacky Chinese have cooked up in the religious arena these days:

A banned sect that believes Jesus Christ has returned to earth as a Chinese woman has been accused of kidnapping 34 Christians in a bizarre attempt to gain converts.

Shen Yiping and Shen Xianfeng, the founders of China Gospel Fellowship, and 32 of their followers claim they were abducted in April by members of Lightning from the East, a group condemned by Beijing as an evil cult.

[...]

Its leader, Zhao Weishan, claims that the second coming of Christ has already taken place in the form of a 30-year-old peasant woman called Deng, who has never been photographed and is shielded from ordinary members of the sect. She is said to have written an apocalyptic addition to the Bible.

Well! So much for Christian kindness.

And anyway, as long as this Deng woman looked like this

or like this:

she has my vote! She can come 'round the Pirate Cove and get apocalyptic with me any time!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:14

Oooooooooooooooh! I Looove this one!

Kissing Hank's Ass! Possibly the best religion writing ever done.

Read it.

Live it!

Kiss his ass!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 17:28

Today's Stupidity Comes From Swaziland?

So women will have their clothes ripped off (pants, specifically) and torn to shreds leaving them pantless in the streets because it violates traditional chastity rules... or something like that (Am I the only one who sees a logical problem with that?).

MBABANE, Swaziland (Reuters) - Women in Swaziland's royal capital said they dare not wear trousers after a top official warned them Sunday that they would be torn off by soldiers.

"If any of us dare wear pants the soldiers will strip us naked," Lobamba resident Mary Dlamini, 22, said after listening to head man Jim Gama address local people at a special meeting.

Speaking to Reuters in the small African kingdom's administrative capital Mbabane, one Lobamba resident quoted Gama as saying: "Soldiers from the army will patrol for offenders.

"They have been instructed to strip the trousers from women in pants, and tear them to pieces."

But I guess standing naked in the streets is ok.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:01

Sounds Like He's Making Sushi

Batman the accountant got busy this weekend and opened a can of whup ass on a perp who stole his credit cards:

When San Francisco police said they couldn't spare an officer to arrest a man suspected of stealing Tom Van Lokeren's credit cards and checks, the 47-year- old North Beach tax accountant took matters into his own hands.

Van Lokeren bought a large fishing net at Fisherman's Wharf, some pepper spray and a stun gun at a military surplus store and then lured the suspect into a trap on a busy downtown street.

"I made four attempts to get the police to do their job," said Van Lokeren. "I said, 'Well, I'm going to go ahead with this,' and they said, 'Good luck.' "

Love what he puts in his bat belt:...large fishing net at Fisherman's Wharf, some pepper spray and a stun gun. First you catch them, then you stun them, and then the pepper spray makes them go great with a little rice and ginger. Yum Yum!

Accountant-man will probably be arrested for trampling this bum's civil liberties or something equally as stupid. As the police in San Francisco say, "Good Luck!"

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:20

Religious Slap Fight

You know the times when you watch a sporting match of some sort between teams you really have no interest in and you don't know who to root for? Sort of like Turkey and Senegal in the World Cup? Outside of a few Turks and Senegalese, who cares who wins? If I was watching I would just like to see a good match. Lots of back and forth a couple of goals here and there and a thrilling conclusion!

I am getting the same sort of visceral reaction when I watch theBaptists and the Muslims square off and get ready to rumble. It all started when some mouth breathing, southern blowhard declared that the Prophet Muhammad was a "demon-possessed pedophile." A "DPP!" That's great! This guy should be blogging!

Leading evangelical Christians, including the Rev. Jerry Falwell, are supporting a prominent Southern Baptist preacher's condemnation of the prophet Muhammad as a "demon-possessed pedophile."

Jewish leaders and mainline Protestant groups, on the other hand, have joined Muslims in protesting the remarks by the Rev. Jerry Vines, a former president of the Southern Baptist Convention, the nation's largest Protestant denomination.

Gonna need a scorecard to keep track of who is in the game. Loony Evangaelicals and Blowhard Baptists over here and Deluded Jews and Ignorant Prots over there... I think. There are probably a lot of shifting alliances going on here.

Our President, of course, seems not to know what is going on as he kowtows to wacky Muslims and knuckle dragging Baptists at the same time (he is flexible, isn't he?):

The following day, Bush addressed the SBC meeting via satellite, extolling Baptists' "extraordinary influence" on American history. "Baptists were among the earliest champions of religious tolerance and freedom," he said.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan said yesterday that "the president's views are very clear. The president believes Islam is a religion that teaches peace. The president believes in religious tolerance and respects people of all faiths."

Our Prez needs to talk to Daniel Pipes or Charles Johnson more often if he is so convinced about his "Islam = Peace" mantra.

Muslims, of course want to have it all ways:

Volume 7, Book 62, Number 64 of the Sahih Bukhari edition of the Hadith says, "The Prophet married [Aisha] when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old." But Ibrahim Hooper, spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations, said many Islamic scholars interpret that passage to mean Aisha was 16 when she was betrothed to Muhammad and 19 when they wed.

"Muslims see the prophet Muhammad as the ultimate example of moral behavior, so they really see this kind of attack on the prophet as gut- churning," he said. If Southern Baptists "want to preach love," he added, "why does it come out in such hate-filled terms?"

Oh, I see! You can interpret passages in the Hadith any way you want! Why not say she was 26 and 29? Or 36 and 39? Just because it looks bad that your prophet was doing nine-year olds you get to change what is written. Why don't you reinterpret the rest of the Koran and Hadith to say Mohammed was a used car salesman in Ohio who could get you a great deal on an '89 Escort?

And just what is it that makes Islam a religion of peace when all they seem to want to do is kill Jews and people who work in tall buildings?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:12

Dude Has Got it Going On!

Armed and Dangerous as a great take on "Moderate Islam". As an officially non-religious person who finds all the time and effort people put into religion kinda of silly and pathetic, I especially find evil religions such as Islam particularly stupid.

What has Islam given to the world in the last 600 years? Other than pain, misery, uncountable illiterate morons, and misogyny? Nothing... Except for those last bits. Name me all the famous Islamic scientists, biologists, economists, astronauts, and porn stars. NONE! That is my point. Islamists want to live like cave people because that is what their pedophiliac propet mohammed did (his last wife was 9... duh!). And their silly book of rules does not let them advance into the 17th century let alone the 21st.

I suppose we could all just wait for the oil to run out then watch those Islamic cockroaches run for cover when no petrodollars are coming in to support their corrupt ideas. Meanwhile, we in the west will be tooling around town in our hydrogen powered fuel-cell car developed hear in the west. Get that last part? In the WEST! The non-islamic west! Now if we can just jettison those "we're not worthy" Judeo-Christian folks.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:06

Italian Sour Grapes Make Italian Sour Whine

Says here that one of them over reacting Italian types (with hands and arms a'flying, I imagine) has got all steamed over their loss to South Korea. Turns out the guy on South Korea who scored the winning overtime goal plays for an Italian team... Bwahahahaa:

ROME - Ahn Jung-hwan, the South Korean forward for Perugia whose extra-time golden goal sent Italy packing from the World Cup, might have to start looking for a new club, news reports said Wednesday.

Luciano Gaucci, the owner of the Serie A club, has threatened to fire him, according to several Italian papers.

"Enough! That guy will never again set foot in Perugia!" Gaucci said, according to La Gazzetta dello Sport. "I am not going to pay the salary of a guy who has been the ruin of Italian soccer," it quoted him as saying.

Sounds like someone is just a leetle cranky and should maybe take a nap.

Chill, dude. It is only a game.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:08

The Funniest Car Story of All Time

Car and Driver has the following story from 1997 (warning, I almost bust a gut laughing so hard the first time I read it) (Ignore the funky characters as they are some sort of leftover 1997 font on Car and Driver's site):

We give three editors $1000 apiece so that each may contest in his own low-compression heap our first-annual Special Olympics of Rust. One beater wins. The other two suffer general corruption and bad juju.

So that is the premise. $1,000 for a car.

What did they get for their $1,000?

If it is the journey and not the destination that shapes men's souls, then Phil Berg's soul is shaped something like a Birds Eye meat pie. Berg journeyed to Amelia, Ohio, where he purchased a '79 Mazda RX-7 for $700. The owner was gonna drop a Chevy small-block in it,he learned. His wife said, "Honey, I definitely do not think so."

The Mazda, which had 145,000 organic miles on it, came without keys. The owner was using a small cold chisel jammed into the ignition, Berg reported. And the tank was so rusty that the guy had to change fuel filters every week, so he moved the pickup tube higher so it wouldn't suck up rust. Now it runs out of gas whenever the tank is two-thirds empty.

And...

Seven investigations later, Markus came across a Pennsylvania-built 82 VW Rabbit 156,000 miles, $800 whose owner had transformed it into a GTI. Perfect. With his leftover cash, Markus aligned the front suspension, reglued the headliner in place, slapped on four used tires, and twisted the distributor about 40 degrees until the engine achieved the idle resonance of a Huey over Hue.

Earning valuable bonus points was a bullet hole in the left-rear fender. Markus waxed the perimeter of this wound to catch the sun in a dazzling fashion, he explained. And he appeared equally proud of a bumper sticker affixed by a previous owner: "Fukengruven," it said, thus promising to enrage bumper-ogling Methodist constables throughout lower Michigan.

And finally:

Meanwhile, Steve Smith lost many valuable bonus points when(this is so sad) his wife discovered a Camaro Berlinetta parked outside a hair salon. No suffering was involved. The car just showed up: an 84 automatic, three owners, with a 5.0-liter V-8 and a four-barrel carb. Our road test of this precise model concluded in January 1984: Excellent alter-natives exist just a pencil's width away.

Nonetheless, Smith's Camaro ran fine with a mere 81,000 miles under its polyester belt, although the vehicle's left door appeared to have been rammed by one of those mid-size electric commuter loco-motives in service in Connecticut. Smith seemed sensitive about this a mere matter of a moment's inattention, he assured so we never unearthed the true story and may have to await the arrival of revealing court documents.

Smith's Camaro we dubbed "Uncle Buck." Markus's Rabbit somehow took on the nickname "Tricia Nixon." And Berg's RX-7 acquired the happy-go-lucky moniker "That Total Shitbox in the Parking Lot."

Much hilarity ensues as these piles o'steaming crap are put through their paces.

Read the whole thing. It is worth it.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 16:16

Congrats Again!

For making to to the round of 8. Who would have believed it?!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 13:16

Pizza Delivery

I can't pick up a gun or decode a message or fix a tank for them, but I can send the boys and girls in the IDF something to eat. I just sent off my order for some pizzas to a place that matches the order up with hungry Israeli Defense Force soldiers. We non-barbarians have to stick together.

You should go and buy some pizza too!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:56

Corsair's "Parents Too Stupid to Live" Alert!

I see the following in the Dallas Morning News:

The 8-year-old girl thought grass was biting her the first time she walked barefoot across it. When her future mother brought flowers to her hospital room, she asked what they were.

This was a year ago, not long after the emaciated girl was rescued last June from the filthy bedroom closet of her parents' trailer in Hutchins. Police say her mother and stepfather forced her to live there and in other confined spaces with little food and clothing for four years.

Now 9, the girl climbs on her jungle gym, does puzzles and has friends for the first time. Although she will struggle to cope with her past, her spirit has amazed those who love and help her.

And this in the WaPo:

TAUNTON, Mass., June 14 -- A leader of a religious sect who said he believed he was fulfilling God's prophesy and expected a miracle as he watched his infant son starve to death was convicted today of first-degree murder.

Jacques Robidoux, 29, testified that he was following God's instructions as he withheld solid food for 51 days from his son, Samuel. The boy died April 26, 1999, three days shy of his first birthday.

There is this phrase " Make the punishment fit the crime." I can think of no other instances when this would be more appropriate. I imagine a shit-covered closet for the first assholes and a couple of months of "no food for you" for Mr. God-Told-Me-To-Do-It. These sub-human bottom dwellars were not hurting "infidels" or "foreigners" or "people of other races" or even their own spouses. They were willfully and with malice aforethought (I watch too many crime shows) hurting the one person in the whole stupid world that loves you completely and unconditionally. These were children born of their own flesh and blood. Young children at that. Young children look at Mommy and Daddy like superheroes. They can do no wrong. They clothe and feed and tuck them into bed at night with a story. Everything they have comes from Mommy and Daddy. When some twisted sickoes takes that and shred it in the most violent and harmful manner imaginable... Words fail me (I wish I was James Lileks every time I try to write something).

Corsair the Rational Pirate is also Corsair the Three Time Daddy. I have a 2-month old who now smiles when I talk to her (No better feeling in the whole world for those who don't know it). I have older kids who think I can fix anything that has ever been broken. We went swimming yesterday and the 3-year old was jumping off the side of the pool into the deep water over her head because she knew that Daddy was there to catch her. They have total trust that I will do the right thing. Sure they get mad at me and I get mad at them sometimes but they know that I will always be there for them. And I will.

When I see shit-for-brains like the ones mentioned above soiling the good name of parenthood (especailly dickless number two who did it all in the name of God!) I just want to run down to the store, buy an axe handle and a big can of whoop-ass and commence to getting to work. Marsellus said it best in Pulp Fiction:

MARSELLUS
What now? Well let me tell you
what now. I'm gonna call a couple
pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to
work on homes here with a pair of
pliers and a blow torch.
(to Zed)
Hear me talkin' hillbilly boy?! I
ain't through with you by a damn
sight. I'm gonna git Medieval on
your ass.

Replace "hillbilly boy" with "asshole child abusers" and you see where I am coming from.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 12:22

Lou Dobbs is my Hero

My boy Lou is taking more hits from CAIR and other Islamic wackoes:

James Zogby, a Christian who is head of the Arab-American Institute, put it this way: "Lou Dobbs is a very sensible, intelligent man, who has made a mistake here. He seems to be following others who have been riding an anti-Islamic hobbyhorse."

Where can I get one of these horses?

Then there is a bunch of yadda yadda noises from others apologists:

But Fawaz Gerges, an Arab-American professor and author who appeared on his show yesterday, did not agree. He said the conflict should be called a "war against radical or militant Islamists."
Mr. Gerges said Islamists are Muslim fundamentalists, whose goal is to replace a secular political regime with a religious one. But he said "mainstream" Islamists want to do that peacefully.
In contrast, he said, radical or militant Islamists "use violence as their main means" of effecting change. He said he believes September 11 "represented the end of militant Islamicism." He said he believes it's being replaced by a more moderate Islamicism.

Hey! Loser! No such thing as "moderate Islamicism." Y'all want us all to wear robes, stick our women in potato sacks, drink water while sitting down, wipe our behinds with our left hands, and waste our day praying to the invisible allah that no one has better life than I do. Let me tell ya... Ain't gonna happen.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:19

Korean Girls are Sooooo Cute...

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:23

Congrats!

For making to to the round of 16!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:11

Kuwaiti Islamist Blowhard Alert

I was watching 60 Minutes the other night and they were wandering around Kuwait asking people why their country was so screwed up ("The Jews did it!") despite us coming to their rescue way back when. Their position now is that they support the Palestinians and don't want us to go to war with Saddam. This despite Saddam invading their country and trying to cart it off in a truck and the subsequent Kuwaiti expulsion of 400,000 Palestinians (many who had been their for generations) becuase turkey-neck Arafat gave Saddam a big smoochie whilst congratulating him on a wonderful invasion (he was hoping to get some of the swag, obviously).

Jordan killed thousands of Palestinians in the Black September 1970 massacre, Syria invaded Lebanon to squash a Palestinian instigated civil war, Kuwait can kick out 400,000... Why is Israel the bad guy? Let us see Israel kick out 400,000 West Bank terror supporters and see what they reaction is...

Sometime you just want to wash your hands of the whole thing and hope it goes away. Blech.

Update! OH! They were also interviewing various females of the Arab species about whether they should all cover up and act like Islamist Stepford Wives. One hottie in some sort of clothes store said she would flee the country if the Islamists came to power and made laws restricting her freedoms (You go, girl!) but the next brainwashed scarf-head said it was just best if the men were the only ones with the right to vote since it really wasn't a girl thing according to their misogynistic, He Man Woman Haters Club president Allah.

I just wanted to spit. Or show them the sole of my shoe and slap them with my left hand (whatever gets them the angriest). Would the world really care if all the Islamists disappeared tomorrow?

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:31

No Monty Python on Today's TV

John Cleese is on NPR saying that television executives today would never green light a show like Monty Python because they are marketing guys and not tv guys. The sho was too wierd to describe in planning meetings. What a shame. Look at what passes for comedy today and outside of a few quirky shows (Malcolm in the Middle, Simpsons) he is correct. Relationship comedies (Friends, Dharma and Greg) just are not as consistenly funny.

I could be wrong (not bloody likely) since those drecky comedy shows seem to stay on the air. But then no one ever went bankrupt underestimating the comic sensibilities of the American public.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 14:04

North Korea to the World "Give Us the Food and Shut Up!"

Those ingrate sickos over there in North Korea seem to have gotten a bee in their bonnet about some of the aid they are receiving:

North Korea's agriculture minister, Kim Chang Sik, referred indirectly to the issue during a brief speech to the U.N. World Food Summit here.

"It can no means be justified for an individual state to talk about human rights, democracy and mode of state management, ignoring the characteristics and circumstances of others and imposing its own value and developmental models, attaching various terms on assistance," he said.

The United States, Japan and South Korea ( news - web sites) are the North's biggest donors.

What? We are the only thing keeping your worthless citizens alive to sing the praises of the Dear Leader (and head whacko) Kim Jong Il and when we put a few humanitarian conditions on the giving YOU get all upset? You are not in a position to get upset Mr. Hat in Hand Beggar Man! In case you don't remember, YOU are eating food paid for by ME!

Of course, the US is getting taken in by these welfare queens:

Last week, the United States made a new pledge of 100,000 tons of wheat, rice and dairy produce, which has allowed the U.N. World Food Program to resume distributing food.

As the returned Corsair the Angry Pirate would say: Screw these ingrate bastards.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:13

Reason 65 Why I Hate Saudi Arabia

Go read the heart rending story about two little girls served up on the cowardice of the American State Department and its decades-long kowtowing to the repressive, left hand shit wiper creeps in Saudi Arabia.

That was 1986, and the sisters, now young women, remain there still. They have not seen their mother since, except for one heart-wrenching two-hour meeting in 1995 where Alia, clad in the black abaya, begged her mother, "Please, Mama, don't leave us here!" In the meantime, Alia has been married off; each has been converted to Islam; and both remain under an effective life sentence in a land whose law forbids them to leave without the written permission of a father or husband.

It will not be soon enough when Islamists such as this collapse under the weight of their own stupidity.

Why the US continues to support this shithole of a country is beyond me.... Oops, forgot about the oil. So we should just go in and take it, set up minefields all around it, and kill any camel jockey rag head who gets too close. Fuck 'em all (Corsair the Angry Pirate has returned).

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 11:57

Soccer Ball Kicking Surrender Monkeys

I know I shouldn't gloat... But it is the Cheese Eating French so I will go ahead.

What a bunch of Losers! Capital ELL LOSERS! Can't even score a goal! On the way home before the tournament gets started. Hahaha! First time since 1966 the champ failed to make the round of 16. First time ever the champ never scored a goal! At least the pathetic US team of 4 years ago scored once.

Oddly enough, the other big loser of the tournament was Saudi Arabia. Got scored on more than any other team. Another country which doesn't like the US. Remember, it is not a good thing to mess with the US. Ask the Taliban... or the French and Saudi Arabian soccer teams.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 10:47

The Engineerist Party - The Party for the 21st Century?

USS Clueless has a political piece today that sums up what I have felt for a long time but have been unable to put into words. I grew up thinking I was a Republican (coming from a hippy-centric Democratic house, I really wasn't sure). I was conservative on many issues which turned out mainly to be economic issues. As I got out into the world and noticed that most Conservatives were party-pooping, religious blowhards I decided I was not a Republican but was still a conservative. Was I a Liberal? Hardly. They seemed to think the Gubmint would solve all our problems if only we could tax enough money away from those who made it.

Oh the psychic pain of not "knowing who I was" (not really). Mostly I didn't care. Then I became more obviously anti-"whatever you got" but I didn't have a home. Tried beng a Perotista for awhile but that fell apart when it was taken over by loonies. Tried to be a Libertarian but that was always run by loonies. Signed my voting cards as an Independent but that doesn't really mean anything. Then I stumbled upon Mr. Den Beste and his Engineerist philosophy:

We Engineerists are intensely pragmatic. We don't try to come up with overriding philosophies ("wealth is evil", "Government regulation is evil", "America is evil") and then judge everything based on it. Individual cases are taken as they come, and the only criterion for any given proposal is practical: will it work better than the alternatives?

And...

Engineerists believe in freedom, and if we have any kind of aphorism, it's this: "Leave me alone!" The world is best served when as many people as possible make as many decisions as possible for themselves.

I couldn't have said it better since I couldn't have said it better (I am not the writer Den Beste is). I would change the aphorism to "Don't Tread On Me" as we (if I may be so bold) Engineerists also do not like to be pushed around by those we consider less pragmatic. Those pushing for prayer in schools. Those who would fly planes into my buildings. Those who would deny my right to play ball in the street. (OK, so maybe tht is not a right. But can't the busybodies find something else to complain about?). We can only be pushed so far until we push back.

I hereby vow to be an Engineerist until my last dying breath.

Now we have to make t-shirts.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 08:32

Can You Hear Me Now?

North Koreans eat bark off of tress and live in unheated, electricityless hovels where the only decorations are pictures of the Great Leader (Kim Il Sung) and the Dear Leader (Kim Jong Il) and the tv sets (if they have one) have only one station dedicated to the demonizing of South Korea and the United States and the showing of uplifting stories about the heavens above acclaiming the Great Leader as the annointed one sent here to show us the way. Blech.

But! Now some in the South have decided that the oppressed peoples need... food? Democracy? A transparent government that caters to the people's needs instead of the other way around? No! They need cell phones! I hope they are cute little ones with Hello Kitty stickers and ringers that chime out Beethoven's Fifth Symphony whenever they get a call from.... who exactly?

SEOUL, South Korea - South Korea ( news - web sites) has proposed to North Korea ( news - web sites) that they form a joint consortium to develop telecommunications in the North, officials said Monday.

The proposal was made last week when a South Korean delegation of government and company officials visited North Korea to determine whether South Korean companies can help modernize the North's decrepit telecommunications industry.

"North Korea is studying our proposal in detail," the Ministry of Information and Communication said in a statement. Both sides agreed to meet again within one month, either in Pyongyang or Beijing, it said.

They are not "studying it in detail"!!! They are using it for toilet paper! They were using tree bark for that very same task until they decided that they needed the bark for food. Now they commision studies from the South so they can get hundreds of pages of high quality pulp to rub their commie backsides with.

North Koreans aren't allowed to travel. Their hospitals do not have medicine. They have a ten-year military commitment which often means they can't see their family for 10 years! They don't do pizza delivery. No call in radio shows. No 911. Why do they need cell phones? Who the hell are these people going to call?!? They can sell one to the Dear Leader to call his hookers, bookies, and alcohol distributor. One might go to the head of the military (oops, that would be the Dear Leader and he already has one!) Maybe one to the head of the opposition political party? No market there as there is no opposition political party. I guess the hookers and bookies might need some. As a long ago business school graduate, I really don't see much of a market here.

I think we need Lou Dobbs to tell it like it is in North Korea (as well as the rest of the world). It is a slimy, two-bit, backwards ass kleptocracy with all the redeeming qualtities of a disease ridden, phlegm spewing crack whore.

Makes me sick just thinking about it!

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:00

Translation Problems...

Until we get the Universal Translator promised in Star Trek working, it will still be up to carbon-based units to translate things. See this picture and caption from yahoo:

South Koreans stand in line Wednesday, June 5, 2002 in front of a restaurant in Seoul that served free lunch to visitors to celebrate the nation's first-ever World Cup victory in six appearances. South Korea defeated Poland 2-0 in their World Cup opener in Busan Tuesday. The picture shows South Korea's Hwang Sun-hong celebrating his goal with korean characters reading "South Korea clinches the first World Cup victory. Snapping 48-year winless streak." (AP Photo/Ahn Young- joon)

Now I would have translated it slightly differently. The two big characters on the left (chot sung) mean First Win and the ones across the top (48 nyun man eh hey nett da) Works out to something more like "In only 48 years it happened" This is slightly different than what Yahoo is saying, but in the spirit of the World Cup you say �� ġ and I say kim chi.

Congratulations on a fine win nevertheless.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:09

Who Woulda Thunk It?!? North Korea Stealing?

North Korea decided to show what few citizens it has left a couple of minutes of the opening game of the World Cup being held in South Korea. Turns out what they did was not exactly legal. Seems they neglected to pay anyone for its use first:

An investigation is underway into how North Korea obtained pirate recordings of the opening games of the World Cup, which were aired in the Stalinist state over the weekend.

Fifa officials and members of the German media group Kirch, which owns the World Cup broadcast rights, have been angered by the illegal broadcasts.

North Korea? Doing something illegal? The mind reels at the suggestion. Except for the

to name just a few.

What are they gonna do about it?

Kirch said later it would not be taking any action against North Korea.

"We are not condoning it and would normally take out legal action," company spokesman John Kritick told the German news agency SID.

"But we have to look at the situation pragmatically. It would take a lot of time and work if we pursued it," he added.

And, really, what sort of judgement would they win? A complete set of Kim Il Song books, a map of the Pyongyang Metro system, and the last three oranges in North Korea. Not worth it by a long stretch.

posted by corsair the rational pirate at 09:28